Who Worked It Better?

August 25, 2014 / Posted by:

I know, I should punch myself in the mouth for even thinking it’s okay to compare Lena Dunham’s Little-Critter-in-Ann-Jillian-drag-looking ass to a muy delicioso Barbie birthday cake.

On the left is Lena Dunham in a whole lot of Giambattista Valli at the Emmys tonight and on the right is your cousin’s quince cake. Lena Dunham looks exactly like that cake if that cake was left outside, melted in the rain and was later picked at by rabies-infested squirrels who only took a few bites of it, because its frosting went bad. I guess if bitch gets the munchies during the show, she can nibble on herself.

The Emmys is usually filled with rejected Windsor Fashion gowns and every dress is a visual yawn, so I give Lena a few taint slaps for trying to bring busted foolery to the red carpet, but she looks like a box of stale Jello 1-2-3. She looks like Hello Kitty’s overused, shredded tampon.

Also, Lena told E! at the Emmys tonight that the bleached fugness on her head isn’t a wig:

“A paparazzi followed me through LAX the other day asking me how I felt about the ‘speculation’ that my hair is a wig. It was like the biggest scandal I’ve ever been embroiled in. It is not a wig. I bleached it last week after I finished the show. I always like to do something—I always have kind of a bad hairstyle as Hannah, so it’s nice to kinda chop it off or do something that shows me I’m a real woman.”

Yeah, if by “real woman” she really meant “deranged escapee from the Village of the Damned,” then she nailed it.

Pics: Getty

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