Category: George Michael

Holiday Programming Note & Open Post: Hosted By David Bowie Grooving Along To George Michael Singing Queen

December 26, 2016 / Posted by:

In case you couldn’t tell from everyone adult wrapping themselves while waiting for 2016 to finally end, it’s the final days of the year. So because it’s that time period between Christmas and New Year’s when many people get drunk at noon while watching the Snapped marathon on Oxygen, we’re going into holiday mode at Dlisted. I’ve gone on vacation with my family, which is sort of like hanging out with them at home. But instead of fighting in my mom’s living room, we fight at a restaurant and make all the other tourists uncomfortable. ‘Tis the season to make strangers nervously push their rice around while trying to drown out the sound of you and your sister fighting about Westworld theories.

Things will be a little lighter around here this week, but our resident guest providers of foolery, Ben and Krista, are coming in to help Allison and me out. They’ll be posting all this week and J. Harvey will cover Saturday. Everything will be back to normal on January 3rd. Although is it ever normal around here?

Yesterday, when I posted the soul-hurting news about George Michael’s death, I posted his performance of Somebody To Love at the Freddie Mercury tribute concert. So I leave you with this video from 1992 of George Michael singing the fuck out of Somebody To Love in rehearsal as David Bowie and Seal dance along. (Or as Sarah Michelle Gellar sees it, Boy George rehearsing as David Byrne and Terence Trent D’Arby dance along.)

“So about you trying to show me up at my own damn tribute concert….” is probably the first thing that Freddie Mercury said to George Michael in heaven.

Leave It To 2016 To Break Everyone’s Heart On Christmas

December 25, 2016 / Posted by:

And also leave it to 2016 to turn Last Christmas into the saddest Christmas song ever…

Well, the angels are lucky today, at least, because they’re getting a live mash-up performance of I Want Your Sex And Modern Love In A Little Red Corvette from George Michael, David Bowie and Prince. As you know, because your soul has probably already been knocked on its bare ass from the news, the iconic George Michael (born name: Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou) died of heart on Christmas Day at his home in England. His manager says he died of heart failure. He was only 53.  George Michael’s publicist gave this statement to Entertainment Weekly:

“It is with great sadness that we can confirm our beloved son, brother and friend George passed away peacefully at home over the Christmas period. The family would ask that their privacy be respected at this difficult and emotional time. There will be no further comment at this stage.”

The BBC says that at around 1:42pm, the police answered a call at George Michael’s home in Goring in Oxfordshire. The police called his death “unexplained” but said there were no suspicious circumstances. George Michael’s rep also tells TMZ that he had not been sick recently.

The last time I wrote about George Michael was in 2014 when he fell in his home. And in 2011, that terrible shit head pneumonia nearly took him. George Michael also struggled with addiction and had a few dramatic situations involving cars.

This one really hurts, because like many of us, I grew up with Wham! and George Michael songs and many of them were the soundtrack to moments in my life. I mean, who didn’t recreate the Freedom video with help from their friends and a camcorder in 1990?

And I’d like to think that as George Michael strutted through the gates of heaven in dark glasses and a leather jacket Jesus threw him a side-eye that said, “Really, snatching the spotlight on my birthday?

Rest in peace, George Michael.

Pic: Getty

George Michael Was In The Hospital After “Mysteriously” Falling In His Home

May 29, 2014 / Posted by:

Woe Is George Michael: Part 5,89,897.

Just in the past three years, George Michael has fallen out of a moving Range Rover and has been laid up in the hospital for months with pneumonia (or PAMONAS as my cousin still calls it). Bitch has been through IT and he went through it again last Thursday when two ambulances were called to his house in North London and spent a total of 4 hours treating him. Well, they probably spent an hour treating him and another three hours staring at his glorious hair yarmulke. After they treated him, they put him in an ambulance and shuffled him off to the hospital. The Daily Mail says that George fell in his house and a friend called for an ambulance. George’s spokeswhore wouldn’t say exactly what down, but said that he’s out of the hospital:

“In response to newspaper reports today, we can confirm George was admitted to hospital on May 22. He was discharged last weekend and is well and resting. He is very much looking forward to the release of his new single in July. Given the personal nature of this matter there will be no further comment.”

George Michael once said that he used to suck down 25 blunts a day, so of course some whores are saying he overdosed on marijuana. Overdosed on marijuana. Bitch, please. The closest I’ve ever gotten to “overdosing” on marijuana is the time I smoked so much that it messed with my senses and by that I mean I laughed while watching Jack and Jill on Starz.

George Michael gets into a car and he falls out of it. George Michael walks in his house and he falls down. Something’s going on and I’m not going to speculate (HAHAHA!), but I am going to say that he should always wear a suit made of bubble wrap and his assistants should follow him around while carrying mattresses just in case he falls. Because bitch is delicate.

Or maybe it’s really nothing and George Michael just prolapsed while hooking up with a Scruff trick. It happens to the best of us.

And So It Begins….

June 4, 2013 / Posted by:

Yesterday, Zi Lin from Oxygen’s The Face and Naomi Campbell’s ex-piece Vladimir Doronin were added to everybody’s celebrity death pool when pictures of them humping and kissing each other in Ibiza came out. Surprisingly, Zi Lin who was mentored by Naomi on The Face, survived the night, but she’s already finding out what happens when you screw with Naomi the Terrible. The Daily Mail says that Zi Lin’s managers tore up her contract and dumped her ass last week. Neal Hamil, the President of MIX Model Management NYC, said in a statement that Zi Lin was thrown out the exit door, because she wrapped her skank twat around Naomi’s (ex) man and Naomi threatened to tear all their throats out with her teeth if they didn’t fire that conniving, manipulating Chinese Eve Whorrington. But Neal said it in a more professional way:

“Zi Lin’s contract with MIX Model Management NYC was terminated last week due to ongoing unprofessional conduct and unacceptable work ethic.”

Neal went on to say, “We also let Zi Lin go, because it will be extremely difficult and next to impossible to represent a model who has two hairs on her head, two broken knees, a missing eyeball, bite marks on her earlobes and the BlackBerry logo permanently embedded into her cheek. We have referred Zi Lin to an agency in Los Angeles, because once Naomi gets done with her, she might be able to get work as an extra on Hannibal.”

I do love a conniving, shameless hussy, but the thing is, Vladimir Doronin (who is also a shameless hussy) is still married and there’s no way he’s going to get a divorce. So what is Zi Lin risking her life and modeling career for? Some hot Russian dick? Zi Lin’s vagine better swallow that sperm like John Travolta at a bathhouse orgy, because if she gets pregnant she’ll: a) get a child support check every month and; b) have an adorable human shield to protect her when Naomi comes at her. I mean, Naomi would never attack an adorable, newborn baby. I know, I can’t believe I typed that last line with straight fingers.

And here’s those hussies in Ibiza, laughing like their lives are not in danger.

George Michael Fell Out Of A Moving Range Rover On The Motorway

May 21, 2013 / Posted by:

The Sun’s headline for this story is: “Scrape me up before you go slow.” I don’t know whether to laugh, cry, slow clap or slap The Sun. Not today, The Sun, not today!

Last week, the original George Michael was airlifted to a hospital in London after he got into a car accident on the M1. George was treated for cuts and bruises and released. George wasn’t driving and at the time and nobody knew what happened until now. Katherine Fox tells The Sun that she saw George Michael fall out of the passenger side of a silver Range Rover that was going 70mph on the motorway. (insert your WHAM! jokes here) Katherine, who busted out an “I am concerned, but also sexy” face while posing next to her Mini Cooper for The Sun, said George fell out and bounced along the motorway. Katherine ran to George and says his clothes were ripped, his shoes were off and he had a huge cut on his forehead. Katherine went on to say:

“I asked what had gone on and was told he tried to open the car door and shut it again because it wasn’t shut properly and apparently fell out at 70mph. I was on the phone to the ambulance and said, ‘You’d better come quick. This doesn’t look good’. George was wearing a black and gold Adidas tracksuit that was ripped all down the arm and shoulder. He had no trainers on. I grabbed one from the second lane because cars were swerving to avoid it. His sunglasses were also in the road. I could hear the crunch as cars drove over them.

George didn’t say anything, he just seemed in shock. He was sitting down against a car and in the arms of his friend. The guy holding him was quite scared. He kept saying to George, ‘Are you all right mate?’ I think George was lucky he didn’t die. If he’d landed in the second lane he would have been hit by a car without a doubt. He was in the middle of the M1. I could have run him over.”

George’s boyfriend Fadi Fawaz, who wasn’t in the car, told The Sun that he’s resting at home and is doing good.

So many damn questions. Why wasn’t George wearing a seat belt? Was this a hook-up gone terribly, terribly wrong? Was Gucci Mane driving the car? I was going to ask who tries to open and shut the door on the freeway, but then I realized that the answer is obviously George Michael. Oh, George Michael. When he drives a car, bad things happens and when he just sits in a car, bad things happen. Maybe he should just take the bus from now on.

SHARE

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >