Category: Cat Fights
Kathy Griffin Claims She Invoked The Rage Of Ellen After Outing Her As A Meanie
At the beginning of every december, Ellen DeGeneres has a thing on her show called The 12 Days of Giveaways in which she makes like Oprah and causes an audience-wide meltdown by giving away a ton of free shit. But this year, behind the scenes, Ellen has held her own personal giveaway. Except instead of 12 days, it was one day, and instead of free shit for the audience, it was a ton of shit given over the phone to Kathy Griffin.
How Real Ladies Solve A Problem
While we here at DListed do mostly focus on the world of celebrity, we like to bring you stories about real people who are just as elegant and classy as famous types. Messy brawls like this and this. Real touching human stuff. Just look at these ladies we have before us today. They may not be up on the silver screen or selling out arena shows, but they are just as admirable in the way they conduct themselves as, say, Rihanna or Mariah Carey’s new manager.
Oh, It’s Just Two Girls Whoopin’ Each Other’s Asses In A Raft
The only thing the Internet knows about this funny video is that it went down in North Carolina, the two chicks fighting are sisters, at least one of them is drunk and they’re raft guides for Big Creek Expeditions. Who knows why the girl in the sunglasses didn’t try to break those messes up by hitting them with her paddle and who knows why that girl pinned underneath them also did nothing.
You know what, though, if was the one in the glasses I would’ve pulled that raft over and made those two murder each other’s faces in the woods. I wouldn’t want to get blood and guts on my damn raft! But I guess there’s no breaking up the powerful bond between siblings.
Since the Internet does nothing but lie to us and play with our emotions, don’t be surprised when this turns out to be viral marketing for Oxygen’s newest show Bad Girls Rafting Club.
And if you’re starting a band and your brain hasn’t spit up any name ideas, it’s your lucky day! Take your pick between “Drunk Bimbo Sisters Gone Wild” and “Nanatahala Gorge Beatdown.”
via Gawker
One Of Taylor Swift’s Cats Tried To Take Down One Of Her $40 Million Legs
If you heard a high-pitched shrieking sound this weekend that sounded sort of like Regina George after she discovered that Cady had been sabotaging her with those Kalteen bars, this will explain why. On Saturday, Marcia Brady’s 21st century equivalent Taylor Swift Instagrammed a picture of her left leg with a huge-ass bloody scratch down the side of it. According to Tay Tay, it was the work of one of her prized pussies, Meredith Grey. Tay Tay didn’t elaborate on what caused Meredith to lose her shit, but did address the rumor that she recently insured her legs for $40 million by captioning the photo:
“GREAT WORK MEREDITH. I WAS JUST TRYING TO LOVE YOU AND NOW YOU OWE ME 40 MILLION DOLLARS”
If I was Meredith, now would be the time I’d start hitting up Grumpy Cat and Garfield and Heathcliff and all my other rich pussy friends for some cash, because we all know Tay Tay doesn’t play when it comes to money.
And for those of you wondering whether or not you should be organizing a prayer vigil for lil’ Butterscotch, don’t worry – Taylor posted a pun-filled follow-up picture yesterday and she appears to be fine:
Even feline pun enthusiasts are groaning over that one. Me-OW? I guess “What a CATastrophe!” was too long. Still, if I were Tay Tay, I’d want to get to the bottom of why one of my pussies turned on me. Maybe it was out for revenge after it read that she had insured her legs for $40 million. “Are you kidding meow? I’ve asked her six times for an upgrade to Fancy Feast and every time that bitch says it’s not in the budget!”
Pics: Instagram
Iggy Azalea Finally Comments On The Iggy Azalea/Azealia Banks Mess
Once again, for those of you thinking “Which one is she? The Iggy or the Azalea?“, above is American-sounding Australian rapper Iggy Azalea. And the one she’s currently in a hate-hate relationship with is Azealia Banks. Don’t worry – it’s not just you; this feud is really confusing, and I’m able to tell the two apart. Not to mention that it’s making me type so many variations of the name “Azalea/Azealia” that I’ve just about worn out the Z key on my keyboard.
Anyways, last week Azalea Banks (not pictured) started focusing her patented brand of Twitter crazy on Iggy Azalea (pictured) by accusing her of profiting off of American rap culture. Iggy responded by dragging Azealia on Twitter, which prompted the hacker group Anonymous to threaten Iggy on Twitter that if she didn’t apologize to Azealia they’d release screen grabs from her hypothetical sex tape. Their Twitter account has since been suspended, but they were replaced with rapper Q-Tip, who decided to hop on Twitter and give Iggy a hip hop history lesson. Meanwhile, Twitter just bought the Costco-sized bottle of extra-strength Tylenol to deal with the massive headache it has from all this Twitter foolery.
And yesterday, Iggy responded to the haters or whatever on Twitter (“NO! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LEAVE ME ALONE!” cried Twitter, as it curled into the fetal position). And by “responded”, I mean “wrote a damn novel”.
Abigail Breslin Swears She Wasn’t Swiping At Taylor Swift When She Tweeted About An Emotionally Unstable Cat Lady
Former Oscar-nominated child actress and current enemy of 5 Seconds of Summer’s 13-year-old obsessed superfans Abigail Breslin might have taken a subtle swipe at professional popular girl Taylor Swift last night by tweeting a reference to Tay Tay’s song “Blank Space” and changing the line “Cause darling I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream” to the following:
Obviously, she could be tweeting about any number of famous emotionally unstable cat ladies, like the crazy cat lady from The Simpsons, or…uh…well, that’s pretty much it. But UsWeekly seems to think she was hissing at the crazy cat lady’s pretty human counterpart Taylor Swift. According to UsWeekly, Abigail might have been throwing shade at Tay Tay after she got chummy with Abigail’s ex and the subject of her recently released breakup song “You Suck” Michael Clifford on Twitter. Taylor had congratulated Michael on 5SOS’s performance at the American Music Awards, then asked if he wanted to be Twitter BFFs.
Now, I’m not a teenager, but I’m assuming this pissed Abigail off, considering most people compared her to a low-budget Taylor Swift when “You Suck” hit their ears. But according to Abigail Breslin, even though she was referencing a Taylor Swift song and describing Tay Tay to a T, she wasn’t hissing at the Butterscotch Prom Queen:
A quick peek over at Abigail’s Instagram shows that she does have several cats (including a new one that moved into her house last Sunday), so she is telling the truth that she’s a cat lady. But until we receive confirmation from her therapist, there’s no way to determine whether or not she’s also emotionally unstable.
Meanwhile, cut to Taylor Swift sitting on her pink ruffle canopy bed with her cats Gretchen and Karen Meredith and Olivia Benson and hissing “OMG, emotionally unstable cat lady? That’s MY thing! Why is she so obsessed with me? Hey, this gives me an idea for a song…”. And speaking of Tay Tay, here she is doing her daily pap walk while looking like Vanity Smurf’s girlfriend yesterday:
Pics: Wenn.com