How Real Ladies Solve A Problem

While we here at DListed do mostly focus on the world of celebrity, we like to bring you stories about real people who are just as elegant and classy as famous types. Messy brawls like this and this. Real touching human stuff. Just look at these ladies we have before us today. They may not be up on the silver screen or selling out arena shows, but they are just as admirable in the way they conduct themselves as, say, Rihanna or Mariah Carey’s new manager.

Video Class Rating: Triple Extra Elegant (Very Violent, Very Messy)

New York Daily News brings us the story of three young ladies, Arlinda Craft, 18; Anns Leigh Hill, 19 and Megan Williams, 20, who were arrested for behaving too ladylike and proper in South Carolina. They went to discuss some unfinished business and resolve a problem with a girl that they had some sort of prior altercation with. Being that they’re all proper ladies, I’m assuming it was about who danced with who at the last town gathering or perhaps a misplaced lace glove. They found who they were looking for lounging by the Saluda River and then proceeded to do exactly what any of Jane Austen’s character would have done – beat the shit out of her. While all wearing bikinis.

The victim, who hasn’t been named, said her hair was pulled before she was thrown down onto some rocks and passed out. You can also see in the video that two of the girls hold her down while the third girl pummels her face, the way a fair fight/problem resolution should be. The victim, 20, was left with a concussion, two black eyes, a bloodied face and a shattered nose. The victim is reportedly doing better physically, but “not emotionally“. As NYDN calls them, the “three sassy suspects” have been charged with second-degree assault and battery by a mob and were booked into the Alvin S. Glenn Detention Center but were released later on. It’s still being decided whether charges will be pressed against other people at the scene, like the guy filming who says “everybody go, everybody go” and then laughs as they walk away. My favourite part of this whole classy and ladylike affair is that after they’re done beating her ass, as they’re walking away, one of them says, “Have a good fucking time at the river.” Which is exactly what I’ll be saying to anyone and everyone this weekend. So, dear readers, have a good fucking time at the river.

Pic: Columbia Police Department