Open Post: Hosted By The Trailer For “The Northman” Starring Alexander Skarsgard As A Viking

The Northman stars Alexander Skarsgard as a ripped AF Viking returning home to reclaim his kingdom, save his Viking Queen mother played by Nicole Kidman and get revenge on Javier Bardem for playing Desi Arnaz. Oh, wait, sorry no–getting my movies mixed up. But he is getting revenge on his uncle who betrayed his Viking King father. So it’s The Lion King but violent and with Vikings and I’m assuming no musical numbers.

Continue reading

Open Post: Hosted By The Icelandic Volcano That Erupted Near Björk’s Home

On Friday, fiery spurts of lava erupted and were preceded by thousands of tiny earthquakes, and they weren’t due to Angelina Jolie frothing up a blistering, rage-filled thought about ex-husband Brad Pitt and their five-year divorce debacle from hell. This eruption was from a non-human volcano, and we rarely get to talk about those. Björk, who resides not far from the volcano at Fagradalsfjall on Reykjanes peninsula, was especially excited about the eruption (fortunately, there were no injuries and no evacuations were required), as she’d filmed her video for Black Lake there in 2015.

Continue reading

Open Post: Hosted By Björk Flipping Off A Fan

Spotted! A maskless Björk, on her phone, dressed all in black, standing in the entrance of a New York City subway station. What a sight to behold!

One fan couldn’t believe his eyes, and decided he must take a video. Um, you’re playing with fire, dude, but, hey, it’s your life to lose! I guess this guy encountered Björk earlier in the day because he says, “I didn’t get the picture before, you got mad at me though.” Björk’s response was to remain Oh So Quiet and flip him the bird (instead of wearing it like she usually does). The fan replied, “Bye Björk!” and giggled gleefully at his dumb luck.

Continue reading

Lars von Trier Denies That He Abused And Sexually Harassed Björk

Now that Harvey Weinstein is persona non-grata in Tinseltown, plenty of people have felt safe enough to come forward with their own sordid tales of abuse in the industry. Björk took to Facebook on Sunday to talk about her own case of sexual harassment with an unnamed Danish film director whose name probably rhymes with Mars don Shrier.  Continue reading

The Time Ellie Goulding, Bjork, Skrillex and Diplo Got Thrown Out Of A Party Together

Prince William and Duchess Kate’s wedding singer Ellie Goulding told Q Magazine (via Gigwise) that recently she got RiRi kinds of drunk at a hotel room party in Costa Rica and was thrown out. And Bjork was there! And Skillrex was there! And Diplo was there! And you were there and  Auntie Em was there and everybody was there!

“I think it was in Costa Rica. A few of us were thrown out but then they realised they’d made a mistake. I can’t quite remember actually because I was quite drunk. Obviously. There was me, Bjork, Diplo, Skrillex and loads of people starting our own party in the reception area. I’m afraid I can’t remember all the details.”

I’d totally believe this story if instead of getting drunk, she got high on LSD. And instead of partying in a hotel room in Costa Rica, she partied in her own living room. And instead of partying with Bjork, Diplo and Skillrex, she actually partied with a potted plant, a sofa cushion and a toaster. That’s what really happened.

And I only posted this so I could post this old picture of Bjork and her intergalactic dandelion mask and her tits which kind of look like the top of Andy Warhol’s head. Or maybe they look more like two uncooked Awesome Blossoms before going into the batter.