Category: Batman
Casey Affleck Says Ben Affleck Won’t Be Playing Batman In A Solo Flick
Problematic Oscar-winner Casey Affleck claims that his big brother, Maine liquor store connoisseur Ben Affleck, will not be playing a probably hungover-looking Batman in a planned DC Comics Universe solo movie. He said this during a radio appearance yesterday, here in Affleck Land – Boston! I’m not sure why Casey didn’t let me know he was in town. He IS my enemy of old and we’re due for a rematch. I’ll explain in the last paragraph. Continue reading
Ben Affleck Is Reportedly Ready To Hang Up His Batfleck Cape
Ben Affleck’s standalone Batman movie hasn’t even started shooting yet and it’s already turning into a bigger wreck than Batman & Robin (although, it’s one of my favorite thanks to Vivica A. Fox’s important cameo appearance as Ms. B. Haven). When The Batman was first announced, Warner Bros. said that Ben would be writing, directing and starring in it. But then Ben dropped out as director and Matt Reeves was brought in as his replacement. Now there’s a rumor that Ben doesn’t even want to star in it anymore and is done with playing Batman. “You’re late to the party, bitch, we were done with you playing Batman the day it was announced,” screamed millions of tricks to Ben.
Ben Affleck Has Bailed On Directing “The Batman”
Hmmm…it’s almost like Warner Bros. doesn’t want another massive flop on their hands. No. That’s definitely not why this is happening. It’s just that Ben Affleck cares so much about Batman and wants to make the best gosh-darn Batman movie he can make. And apparently that means letting someone else do the job.
Ben Affleck Will Only Do Another Batman Movie If It’s Good Enough For Him
Bad news for anyone who was hoping for another chance to watch Sad Jacked Batman emote through grunts on the big screen. Ben Affleck might be done with the whole Batman thing, and you can thank his integrity for that.
We Might Get A Batman Movie That Was Written By Ben Affleck
If Hollywood has taught me anything, it’s that there’s no such thing as too bad when it comes to making money. Even though the reviews for Batman v Superman made it sound like the kind of bad that was in a race to the bottom of the shitty Batman movie barrel with Batman & Robin (which is truly the gold standard for shitty Batman movies), it continues to make a ton of money. As of yesterday, BvS has made more than half a billion dollars. And if something that bad is bringing in that many dollars, then of course there’s a chance Hollywood would green light a bunch more Batman movies, one of which might be a Batman movie written by Batman himself, Ben Affleck.
During a recent interview with The Hollywood Reporter, one of the CEOs of William Morris Endeavor confirmed that their current favorite client Ben Affleck was signed on to play Batman in at least two more movies: Justice League One and Two. They also hinted at the possibility of seeing Batfleck for a fourth time. You know, because the only thing better than three Batman movies that pull in over half a billion dollars is four Batman movies that pull in over half a billion dollars. Apparently Ben has written a “really cool” script for a Batman movie, which may or may not be the solo Batman movie he’s directing that was announced last July at Comic-Con. No word on if he wrote it while dressed as Batman.
Ben still has to film those two Justice League movies, plus cameos, plus whatever non-superhero stuff he has planned. By the time they get around to making his Batman movie, he’s going to be pushing 50. I hope Ben is able to work his script around the possibility of Bruce Wayne now being a middle-aged dude who only does “really cool” Batman stuff on the weekends after he plays 9-holes of golf or if he wants to impress Robin’s new girlfriend.
Pic: Wenn.com
Jena Malone Got Cut Out Of “Batman v Superman”
“Batman v Superman” doesn’t come out until the end of the month and the PR hos at DC and Warner Bros. are not going to let anyone forget that! They’ve sunk $250 million into this movie – a movie, I suspect, is actually going to be about Ben Affleck‘s back tattoo. Entertainment Weekly has an article chronicling what’s at stake with this movie and the planned DC universe. It’s interesting but about as long as “Batman v Superman” is going to be, which is two hours and thirty-one fucking minutes!
It’s amazing to see just how hard these people want to sell us something. On the second page of the article, there’s a fun little nugget of a paragraph,
If BvS sounds crowded, it actually got smaller as time went on. The PG-13 movie’s 2 hour 31 minute runtime will expand further with an R-rated “Ultimate Edition” on home video, featuring even more brutal fight scenes as well as additional hints at future films. There’ll also be some new characters, including a secret one played by Jena Malone, who was cut from the theatrical release.
The movie isn’t even out yet and already they’re hustling us for that DVD money. They slashed that R to a PG-13 to get kiddie money and are now dangling more hardcore Ben Affleck on Henry Cavill action in front of the noses of those ride or die geeks that cream their Superman undies every time they release another teaser trailer. I really don’t have enough “I can’t”s for them selling us Jena Malone as a “secret character”. She got cut out of the movie for whatever reason, probably for time, and that’s that. Call it a deleted scene, call it a fun bonus, but please don’t try and sell me some expanded experience nonsense. This whole thing is like when you go to a fancy steakhouse and the $75 porter strip sirloin whatever doesn’t come with any sides so you have to order $12 carrots and mashed potatoes.
Pic: Warner Bros.