Contrary to popular belief, Ice-T and Aimee Mann exist on the same planet, and they had a minor exchange of fightin’ words yesterday after she insulted the acting skills of CoCo’s main camel toe manicurist on Twitter.

Aimee shanked Ice-T first, and he returned the shank by telling her to go eat a bowl of hot dicks. Let me raise my hand so that I can ask Ice-T where ones goes to successfully order a bowl of hot dicks. I’ve tried hundreds of restaurants in several cities, and so far no dice (or should I say, no dick).

After Ice-T fought back, Aimee quickly apologized in a series of Tweets:

Oh NOOOO!! Someone just told me that Ice T responded to my tweet about him!! THIS CAN’T BE GOOD!!!

I am not going to read it. I DO NOT WANT HIM MAD AT ME!!

Plus, I do not like to hurt people’s feelings. I forget that twitter is not just me and four other dorky friends, ragging on TV stars.

He’s out there doing his job. He doesn’t need any heckling from the peanut gallery. So, I am sorry, Mr. T! You get out there and DO IT!

Ice-T accepted Aimee’s apology and the Twitter world was able to spin again.

It’s a good thing this shit didn’t escalate, because Ice-T would’ve had no choice but to sic Coco’s hongray camel toe on Aimee. That would’ve been a disaster. If something ever happened to Aimee or Coco’s camel toe, we would all have to get out of our seats, rip off our hats and scream in the middle of Carnegie Hall. We’d ruin the damn symphony for everyone!!

(Thanks Becky)

Tiger, one of Satan’s ruthless minions who lives in the body of a 19-year-old house cat in Leeds!

You are not only staring into the eye of the Tiger, but you are also staring into the eye of the evilest of evil! This is according to several postmen who claim that Tiger silently hides behind his pussy door and waits for them to appear so that he can release his blood-thirsty claws and attack their asses. Three postmen say that Tiger has either chased them down the garden path or scratched at them.

They refuse to deliver mail to Tiger’s house, so his owner has to go down to the post office to pick that shit up. She isn’t convinced that Tiger is a postman-shredding pussy of doom, because she says he has a bad back and if he “climbs up a tree, he is done in for the rest of the week.” When she asked the postal hos to show her picture proof of Tiger’s reign of terror, they told her they didn’t have any.

The post office says that they can’t deliver to Tiger’s house if he keeps acting like such a cunt towards their delivery people.

But seriously, Tiger knows not what he has done! Tiger got into his owner’s bottle of Ambien and sort of ate a couple of pills. When Tiger wakes up with blood on his claws and a torn off piece of navy polyester in his mouth, he has no idea what just went down. We all know that Tigers and Ambien don’t mix!

Wait until the postmen check their wives’ cell phones and see the kind of nasty sext messages Tiger has been leaving them.

via Daily Mail

Steven Seagal (59)
Haley Joel Osment (22)
Hayley Westenra (23)
Mandy Moore (26)
Jamie Chung (27)
Chyler Leigh (28)
Laura Bell Bundy (29)
Liz McClarnon (29)
Michael Pitt (29)
Charlie Hunnam (30)
Sean Avery (30)
Sophie Ellis-Bextor (31)
Q-Tip (40)
Orlando Jones (42)
Brian Setzer (51)
Kenneth “Babyface” Edmonds (52)
Peter MacNicol (56)
Omar Sharif (78)
Max Von Sydow (81)

Marilyn Manson on how he’s sick of hos comparing him to Lady Caca and a certain Nazi skankbomb:

“I’m starting to feel that people are saying I’m Lady Gaga and also that Jesse James woman. I’m starting to feel insulted, ’cause I don’t want to look like either one of them.”

via E! Online

This former B+/A- list movie actress who now focuses on another entertainment career once cheated on her A list movie star former boyfriend with another A list (at that time) movie actor. Although she says it isn’t cheating if the guy can’t get it up. (CDAN)

Juliette Lewis, Brad Pitt and Woody Harrelson or Ralph Fiennes? And she’s exactly right! If it doesn’t sit (up straight), you must acquit!

This television series is probably not returning next season. The expense of the production just can’t be justified by the show’s low ratings. One of the show’s stars, however, just isn’t willing to let go. It’s the best paycheck s/he’s had in a while, and s/he will do anything to keep it. That includes ringing up those bankrolling the show and asking to meet with them personally. After work hours. In a very private location. While we’re doubtful the actor will be successful in keeping the show on the air, it’s good to know that their dedication means that they are willing to take one for the team. (Blind Gossip)

Anybody on Melrose Place or Heroes (please let it be Milo Ventimiglia, and please there be video)?

This troubled C list, mostly television actor/comedian with A list name recognition sleeps in a tent in his backyard because he thinks he has a ghost in his house. (CDAN)

Andy Dick? He should call up JLove to handle that shit.

Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon, star of the rare 90s diamond Models Inc., recently found out that her husband of almost 9 years, CAA agent Mike Nilon, has been creeping out on her with a chick in Chicago. Garcelle didn’t pull an Elin by attacking her husband with a club. Instead, Garcelle let everyone in Mike’s office know that his dick has been wandering. Yes, bitch exercised her right to CC EVERYONE! It must have been a sea of side-eyes at Mike’s office that day.

Page Six says that Garcelle titled the e-mail: “Tiger Woods/Jesse James/Mike Nilon”. Garcelle went on to say, “What do they have in common . . . I found out today that MY husband of almost 9 yrs has been having an affair for 5 yrs with some slut in Chicago. I am devastated!!!! And I have been duped!! Our boys don’t deserve this!”

This is basically like the classier version of going down to your man’s job and screaming to the receptionist to call his cheating ass out so you can beat him with your shoe.

You know, why didn’t I ever get mass e-mails like that when I worked in an office? The only mass mails I got were about leaving food in the sink and piss on the toilet seat. Not about sluts in Chicago. Boo.

Garcelle didn’t confirm or deny the e-mail, but she had this to say to E!: “My focus at this time is on my kids and healing the pain. There will be no further comment.”

So everyone at Mike’s office can stop hitting the “get mail” button on their inbox, because Garcelle isn’t going to write a sequel anytime soon.