If the name Gretchen Wilson isn’t ringing any bells, then you maybe didn’t live in the kind of town where “Redneck Woman” was blasted at every wedding, prom, tailgate, family bonfire, or jail-release celebration. But after today, you’ll know Gretchen Wilson as the country singer who proved she wasn’t exactly lying about being trashy n’ proud when she got arrested during an airplane bathroom fight on Tuesday. As someone who has heard Gretchen Wilson provide the soundtrack to many a truck-based gathering, I’m a little shocked that this fight happened in the bathroom of an airplane and not a Walmart. Not very on-brand for Gretchen.
Melissa Etheridge was arrested in North Dakota for possession of drugs by U.S. Customs and Border Control after returning from Canada back in August. According to TMZ, a K9 unit of drug sniffing dogs searched her tour bus and found a stockpile of drugs so shocking, so brazenly devious that it prompted this happy mug shot for the ages. Now I’m not saying that Melissa was a happy kind of stoned in her mug shot, but I am saying that Melissa was a happy kind of stoned in her mug shot, and that’s the only way to be.
Aaron Carter got into some serious trouble on Saturday night in Georgia after he was arrested in Habersham County for DUI and possession of weed and drug accessories. We now have more news regarding Arron’s arrest. In true Carter fashion, it has become a giant ball of drama.
That mug shot of Tiger Woods looking like a half-comatose Homer Simpson after a major donut binge is going to follow him around for the rest of his days, and if someone ever opens up a Mug Shot Hall of Shame Museum, it’s going to get a prime spot there. But apparently, the sweet nectar isn’t what gave Tiger that “Mac and Me on red wine and Ambien” look about him. It was dolls!
That Ohio drew drop in the mug shot above could teach two classes. She could took a course at John Robert Powers on how to serve up 100 proof class in your mug shot. And she could also teach a class at The Learning Annex on how to piss off a judge in one quick and easy step.
Sweet Dee’s Ohio cousin, Mary Jordan, and two fellow delicate rose petals, Ashley England and Sammie Whaley, turned their “You deserve a break today” moment into a ” You deserve to get handcuffed and jailed” moment when they jumped a McDonald’s employee for allegedly not moving as fast they wanted her to. Cleveland19 says that on June 8, the Trinity of Ohio Classiness was at a McDonald’s in Bellevue with their friends and family when decided that an employee, who doesn’t get paid nearly enough to deal with that kind of shit, was working too slowly. So they attacked the employee in the parking lot.
No, that dog has nothing to do with this story. I just figured that if we had to look at Randy Quaid’s greasy Santa-on-bath salts face, we should also get a cute fluffy doggie to cleanse our eyeballs with.
Two days after he was arrested by Canadian Border officials for being an immigration-dodging mess, Cousin Eddie has been arrested by American Border officials. I know, you totally didn’t see this one coming, right? CBC News says Vermont State Troopers (please tell me it was Ramathorn and Womack) slapped Randy Quaid and his partner in crazy times, Evi Quaid, with a pair of handcuffs when they tried to slink across the U.S./Canadian border at 8pm last night. Yes, Randy was trying to flee Canada after he was deemed that he wasn’t a flight risk. I guess Randy was trying to pull a “You can’t deport me if I deport myself” power move or something.
Both Randy and Evi were detained and a judge has set their bail at $50,000 each. No word on why Evi was arrested as well, since she’s not exactly the one up for deportation. But I’m sure there’s probably some law on the books about skipping town with your husband who was specifically told to sit tight while they decided what day to send his ass back to California.
I have no idea why Randy and Evi couldn’t just wait for Canada to tell them when it was time to pack their bags and GTFO. So impatient, those two! Personally, I would have stayed in Montreal as long as they would let me just so I could stuff my face with as many Montreal bagels as possible. Border security would need at least three of their strongest employees to drag my ass out. If you’ve ever had a Montreal bagel, you know what I’m talking about. It’s like wood-fired poppy seed-covered crack. If I was about to be deported from the land of bagels, I’d run off to the nearest St-Viateur and eat till I shat circular bagel-shaped poops.
In the event you want to see the newest pictures for Randy and Evi’s mug shot collection, they’re after the cut.