Okay, So Nicki Minaj Didn’t Meet Her Registered Sex Offender Boo While Handing Out Free Turkeys For Thanksgiving 

December 11, 2018 / Posted by:

On Twitter, a rumor sprouted that Nicki Minaj met her latest man Kenneth Petty, who went to prison for attempted rape and shooting a man, while handing out free turkeys in Queens. But TMZ claims that while Nicki may currently be serving Kenny Petty some BPA-filled plastic turkey (read: her ass), she’s never given him a free turkey. They apparently first got together 20 years ago when Nicki was 16 and he was 20. That means Nicki started farting up hearts for him right after he got out of prison after serving a 4 year sentence for pulling a knife on a 16-year-old girl and trying to rape her. It’s nice to know that Nicki has always had impeccable taste in men.

TMZ says that “sources close to Nicki” (which is probably code for “Kenny Petty” and I can’t hate since he’s gotta make himself useful somehow) told them that she’s known him for years and considers him one of her first loves. As I said above, Kenny went to prison in the 90s for attempted rape and is also a registered sex offender, and he got out of prison in 2013 after serving 7 years for repeatedly shooting another man to death. But Nicki believes he’s changed and is no longer the rapist killer he used to be.

Nicki proved that she’s the feminist icon of our time when she defended Kenny Petty on Instagram by saying that he was 15 years old when he tried to rape his victim, and he was in a relationship with the girl. That kind of logic also proves that Nicki missed her calling as a lawyer. If you think I’m laying down the sarcasm with that line, I’m not (yes, I am).

Canadian football player turned The Bachelor turned serious journalist for The Daily MailTV, Jesse Palmer, covered the tale of Nicki’s registered sex offender boo, and I guess she didn’t like what he said. Nicki threatened to sue Jesse Palmer and cackled in emoji form about him going to jail, because that’s definitely what happens when you sue someone in civil court for defamation. Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who?! Nicki 4 SCOTUS!

Nicki really is hard up for that Petty peen. I don’t know what it is that Jesse Palmer said that got Nicki to pick up the phone and call her lawyers, but if he just reported on Kenny Petty’s record, this might be the first time in history that The Daily Mail did report the 100% facts. But seriously, I’m sure Kenny Petty was clapping alongside Nicki and cheering her on as she threatened to send Jesse Palmer to the clink. Petty shouldn’t have clapped so hard, because if Jesse Palmer really does go to prison for this for some bizarre reason, Nicki will suddenly get the throbs in her loins for him.

Pic: Instagram

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