Category: John Mayer

John Mayer Was Rushed To The Hospital For An Emergency Appendectomy

December 5, 2017 / Posted by:

If you were to guess what sort of emergency situation might put John Mayer into the hospital, you might say it could have something to do with accidentally drinking a bottle of cologne, or a strong burning sensation during urination. But this time, John’s appendix pulled a fast one on him, and he was forced into emergency surgery.

A rep for John tells TMZ that he was rushed to the hospital early this morning in New Orleans. He underwent appendectomy surgery. John is currently on tour with Dead & Company. They had a show scheduled tonight in New Orleans.

Dead & Company released a statement concerning John’s sudden exit, saying that the show planned for this evening is postponed and that people can get a refund if they want to. But they didn’t say how John is doing. Or whether they sent something nice to the hospital on behalf of the band. Like a stuffed Grateful Dead bear wrapped in a tie-dye scarf that says “Get Groovy Soon, Man.” Although Dead & Company founder Bob Weir did wish John a speedy recovery.

Waking up in the middle of the night to the kind of awful pains that land you in the ER is no joke. It’s such a shitty situation. You’re confused and scared, and nothing the doctor says makes any sense. I can only imagine how terrified a half-asleep John Mayer was when he heard they were going to have to remove his appendix. “Oh god, not my dick!!! Anything but that! I use that organ the most! Wait – did you say appendix? Phew. That’s still bad, but…not as bad.

Pic: Wenn.com

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John Mayer’s Penis Is Finally Woke Thanks To Nicki Minaj

September 10, 2017 / Posted by:

In a now infamous interview with Playboy back in 2010, easy listening goon John Mayer revealed that he didn’t have romantic relationships with women of color. His reason? It was because his David Duke cock is “sort of like a white supremacist.

Police interviews with prolific serial killers are less appalling. Luckily, John’s dick seems to have matured in the last seven years. Either that or he’s had most of the white broads in Hollywood and thought he’d try it with the black ladies. You would think most of these women would take a hard pass, but it looks like John has ONE fan in the female black celebrity community.

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John Mayer Is Trying To Score Dates On Instagram Now

August 25, 2017 / Posted by:

You’ve got to wonder if John Mayer has ever seen a rom-com before. Because his definition of a “meet cute” is kind of sweaty. Last year, after breaking up with Katy Perry, John went on Watch What Happens Live and announced that he was ready to settle down. And then he said he was “excited for a meet cute.” Well, this week he seems to have lowered his expectations and settled for a “meet creep” instead. Page Six says he got on The ‘gram and hit up some lady’s dad, David Foster, for an intro.

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Justin Bieber Wants To Relax

July 25, 2017 / Posted by:

Every day, Justin Bieber wakes up, remembers he’s Justin Bieber (already a rough start to the day), eats breakfast (Corn Pops with extra sugar if no adults are looking lol), then he…I don’t know, looks at himself in the mirror until someone yells “Showtime, Bieber!” I guess. And then that’s when his day really gets tough. Prancing and singing for an audience of thousands, only to be given millions of dollars in return? I just don’t know how he does it.

Justin was clearly exhausted from doing that, and he bailed on the remainder of his Purpose World Tour. It sounds like he’s replacing his tour with a couch and a nap.

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John Mayer Has No Interest In Talking About Sex With Katy Perry

June 29, 2017 / Posted by:

Katy Perry recently spent many hours doing a live-stream of her life in a Big Brother-style house, and one of the things she did while she was in there was rank the sex skills of her last three boyfriends. Katy put John Mayer in the number-one spot. Diplo, who took third place, was quick to join in and joke about Katy’s sex discussion. John Mayer isn’t.

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