John Mayer claims that he hasn’t really dated since getting sober six years ago. He revealed this very important information on Call Me Daddy, a podcast hosted by Alex Cooper. 45-year-old John tells Alex that, without alcohol as a crutch, he lacks the “liquid courage” to go on dates. So that seemingly romantic four-hour dinner he shared with Kiernan Shipka last month? The one at the Italian restaurant, where John was spotted serenading 23-year-old Kiernan? That shit was probably platonic. Well, hopefully. John’s exact wording was “I don’t really date.” And that’s a helluva lot weaker than: “I never ever date, especially not female celebrities of the Gen-Z variety.”
John got sober from alcohol after getting wasted at Drake’s 30th birthday party on October 23, 2016. John said he made “quite a fool of myself” and suffered a six-day hangover. Wow, my record’s 3, 6 is actually pretty impressive. John says that, without booze, dating is harder, People:
“Dating is no longer a codified activity for me, it doesn’t exist in a kind of… it’s not patterned anymore,” he told host Alex Cooper. “I don’t really date — I don’t think that I have to, to be quite honest. I quit drinking like six years ago, so I don’t have the liquid courage. I just have dry courage,” he added.
What does he mean by “codified activity”? Like, something he feels forced to do on the regular? After scrambling our pleb brains with his big intellectual words, John addresses his reputation as a “womanizer.” He says:
“Look, that is what that is. That’s the role I play on the big TV show that I didn’t write. That’s fine. Maybe I had a hand in it or something…”
Hmmm, maaaybe he had a hand in it. Is going out with Taylor Swift, Jennifer Aniston, Katy Perry, Minka Kelly, and Jennifer Love Hewitt, and spilling sex secrets about Jessica Simpson to Playboy in 2010 considered “womanizer” behavior? Or has the media unfairly painted this oh-so-innocent musician as a lothario? Well, according to John, it’s the latter, cuz he’s only ever wanted a long-term relationship:
“Every relationship I’ve ever been in was devoted to the idea that this could go the distance,” he said. “My entire life, today included, if you told me that I could have a great two months with someone but it would end on the first day of the third month, I would not be interested,” continued the singer-songwriter. “I’ve always sought potential for a long-term relationship.”
Awww, poor John. All he wants is to find his soulmate! Here’s the part of the podcast where John claims he’s not really dating anymore.
See, this is how men like John get you. “I’ve changed! I’m misunderstood! I hardly even date anymore!” Next thing ya know, you wake up in his bed, and he’s telling you he’s not looking for anything serious cuz he’s working through his sex addiction/mommy issues in therapy. Le Sigh.