Category: Joan Rivers

E! Is Putting “Fashion Police” Out To Pasture

October 18, 2017 / Posted by:

Even though Fashion Police has survived in some form or fashion after Joan Rivers’ passing in 2014, it hasn’t really felt the same since none of the remaining cast knows how to tell a good dry pussy joke. The execs at E! must long for those days because they’ve decided to cancel the show and send it off with a farewell next month. Continue reading

Melissa Rivers’ Medical Malpractice Lawsuit Has Been Settled

May 12, 2016 / Posted by:

Four months after Joan Rivers passed away from complications resulting from losing consciousness and going into cardiac arrest during an endoscopic procedure, her daughter Melissa Rivers lawyered up and sued the clinic where it all went down. According to the lawsuit, Melissa accused Yorkville Endoscopy and Dr. Gwen Korovin (the doctor who was working on her) of being beyond unprofessional – like taking a selfie with Joan while she was under – and slapped at them for being the kind of incompetent that caused her mother to end up in the ICU.

I know pretty much nothing about situations involving lawyers, lawsuits, money, famous people, and hospitals, so I just assumed this had the potential to get especially messy. But apparently it didn’t. TMZ says that Melissa has settled her malpractice lawsuit with Yorkville Endoscopy, and she did it fast. According to TMZ, it never even reached the deposition stage. Melissa released this statement regarding the settlement:

“In accepting this settlement, I am able to put the legal aspects of my mother’s death behind me and ensure that those culpable for her death have accepted responsibility for their actions quickly and without equivocation. Moving forward, my focus will be to ensure that no one ever has to go through what my mother, Cooper and I went through and I will work towards ensuring higher safety standards in out-patient surgical clinics.”

And while you’re at it, can you make sure those tacky bitches also stop taking selfies with knocked-out people?” whispered Joan’s ghost.

It’s not known how much money Yorkville Endoscopy will be stuffing into Melissa’s pockets, but a source hinted to TMZ that it’s somewhere in the 8-figures range. I’m hoping that’s on the higher end of 8-figures, like $90 million as opposed to a measly $10 million. That way, Melissa will have enough money to fight the good fight and be the Erin Brockovitch of the outpatient medical clinic world, and still have enough left over to start a foundation for underprivileged lapdogs. You know, to cover the cost of diamond doggy collars and weekly pawdicures. All lapdogs should be able to experience a life as glamorous as Joan’s dogs did. It’s what Joan would want.

Pic: Wenn.com

ICYMI: Melissa Rivers As Her Mom In “Joy”

December 9, 2015 / Posted by:

Nope.” – that Ariana Grande dog

Those who say that Melissa Rivers should get a dozen gold medals in coattail riding since she’s built an entire career out of being Joan Rivers’ daughter need to temporarily stop hating and bow down, because she has gone next level. Melissa is now wearing the coat. Melissa tells People that David O. Russell asked her if she would do a little cameo as the late Joan Rivers in Joy and she did it, because duh, she obviously lives by her mother’s motto: never turn down a job. Melissa plays Joan in a scene that happens at QVC studios.

When Joan Rivers was still alive, Jennifer Lawrence pissed on Fashion Police for being a big ole’ big meanie mean show, but Melissa says that JLaw was nice to her.

“My mother had a couple lovely encounters with Bradley and she was a fan of Jen’s even though there was a situation once at Fashion Police where someone said something and Jennifer didn’t like it and kind of fired back. Even though we had that disagreement that really had nothing to do with her, I was a huge fan,’ and quoted back her favorite Fashion Police line ever to me: ‘That dress is so ugly it looks like it would be good at math.’ So here she is quoting my own show back to me, then she said to David, ‘I’m so happy you brought me someone to play with!'”

The clip of Melissa as Joan from Entertainment Tonight is below and it’s so weird, creepy and awkward that I think I love it. It’s giving me “Joan Crawford playing her daughter’s character in that soap opera” vibes.

One word: MESS. If Melissa Rivers starts doing Fashion Police as Joan Rivers, I may have to start watching Fashion Police again.

Melissa Rivers Shits On Kathy Griffin For Shitting On Her Mother’s Legacy

May 14, 2015 / Posted by:

If you’ve been looking for a reason to start your weekend drinking early, then you have found a reason in the image of Melissa Rivers, Kathy Griffin and Joan Rivers’ legacy having one big ole’ scat party.

When Kathy Griffin busted out of Fashion Police, she burped up a statement (which Lena Dunham helped write, because UGH) where she basically said that she and the show were like two power bottoms trying to hook up together. They just didn’t work and didn’t connect. Kathy thought the show was too mean and she didn’t want to partake in body-shaming. (Defamer claimed that the real reason why Kathy quit is because E! was getting ready to pink slip her for being a thorn in their taint.) Well, two months after Kathy checked out of Fashion Police, Melissa Rivers has spit out her thoughts. Melissa thinks that Kathy destroyed her mother’s legacy with her exit statement.

Continue reading

E! Is Pressing The Pause Button On Fashion Police

March 17, 2015 / Posted by:

To the surprise of absolutely nobody, E! has realized that nobody really wants to watch Giuliana Rancic suck the life out of the room while Brad Goreski nervously giggles for 30 minutes. Fashion Police was supposed to come back later this month and after Kathy Griffin quit that bitch, Melissa Rivers was going to temporarily take her place, but that’s not going to happen anymore. E! announced tonight that Fashion Police is going on hiatus and will spend the next few months getting nipped, tucked, pulled, waxed, shaved and Botoxed. They’re going to revamp the show and find new asses to sit in the chairs that Kathy and Kelly Osbourne left empty. If Brad doesn’t also jump ship and find another gig, he’ll be back. Ghouliana will also be back, because she probably has some shit on Ryan Seacrest so E! will never let her go.

E! spit out this statement:

E!’s comedy series Fashion Police is going on hiatus and will return in September. We look forward to taking this opportunity to refresh the show before the next awards season. Our talented co-hosts Giuliana Rancic and Brad Goreski, along with Executive Producer Melissa Rivers, will continue their roles as we evolve the show into its next chapter for the legions of Fashion Police fans around the world.

Now that Fashion Police is going away for a while and has left a blank space in E!’s schedule, they can finally do what’s right and bring back their greatest piece of work. I’m talking about the artistic masterpiece that was Sunset Tan (aka the shit show that maybe 2 of you remember).

sunsettanE!

Jeff Bozz (the spawn of an overgrown Oompa Loompa and a bottle of Affliction butt spray on the left) and his electrocuted porcupine hair will save the day!

“Fashion Police” Was Too Mean For Kathy Griffin So She Quit That Bitch

March 12, 2015 / Posted by:

Well, that lasted about as long as my patience while watching Ghouliana Rancid interview anybody on the red carpet. When Kathy Griffin said that she signed up to be the head bitch of the Fashion Police, I figured she was doing it for Joan Rivers and didn’t think she would last more than a year, because when you think of fashion, the last ho you think of is Kathy Griffin. Actually, the last ho you think of is Kanye West, so Kathy Griffin is second to last. But well, she lasted a lot less longer than a year.

About two weeks after Kelly Osbourne sashayed out of the exit door and a quick minute after Kathy said that she wouldn’t tell the “patchouli and weed” joke that Ghouliana made about Zendaya, she declared on Facebook tonight that she’s completely over Fashion Police. In a post where she said her age and how many awards she’s won, Kathy said that she doesn’t want to take part in a shit fest where bitches drag people’s looks. Kathy thought Fashion Police was just going to be about making fun of dresses. So basically, it feels like Kathy spread her legs, squatted over Ghouliana and let out a wet queef.

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E! says that when Fashion Police comes back on March 30th, Melissa Rivers will take over for Kathy and both Ghouliana and Brad Goreski will be back. Kelly has already thrown some support at Kathy by tweeting a picture of them touching tongues.

Now Kathy Griffin is free to do a gossip show on CNN with Anderson Cooper where she’ll tell rim jokes and he’ll giggle out of his jock strap.

Joan Rivers was Fashion Police, but of course E! is going to try to keep that shit alive. I don’t even know why they’re bothering bringing Melissa Rivers on for one episode. Why postpone the inevitable? They’re obviously going to replace Kathy with Kanye West and replace the rest with Kim, Kourtney and Khloe. The entire show will be Kanye worshipping his looks while Kummy, the Slow One and Khlozilla take turns sucking on his ass lips. I don’t know what E! is waiting for?

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