Open Post: Hosted By Sour Patch Kids Cereal

/ November 17, 2018

Aren’t your eyes weeping and your lips puckering after reading that headline? A milky bowl of sour-flavored cereal will soon be a real thing in your universe. Post is coming out with Sour Patch Kids Cereal. I hope this cereal’s appearance gets side-eyes and treefulls of shade from Toucan Sam and the rest of the cereal characters when this monstrosity goes up on shelves beside them.

The cereal will only be available at Wal*Mart until the new year, when it will hit other retailers. THis mess will reportedly change from sour to sweet when you eat it. They can make magic cereal but they can’t cure major disease. Why?

According to a press release from Post, the cereal will feature a “sour coating” and a “sweet finish.”

As a child and obviously a budding masochist, I would happily consume Sour Patch Kids by the bagful because eating enough of them made my eyes tear up and my face implode and look like an injured aquatic creature. I try to avoid those states as an adult, but it was always fun to torture oneself as a child. Did anyone else eat Pop Rocks and drink Coke at the same time? In hopes of exploding? I might have been an odd child.

Pic: Twitter

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Jude Law Is Sad That No One Will Ever See His Woody Allen Movie

/ November 17, 2018

In an interview with the New York Times (via Vulture) about his appearance in the next Fantastic Beasts film, Jude Law revealed that he’s saddened that his and others’ work in Woody Allen’s movie A Rainy Day In New York will never be seen. Sometimes, Jude, it’s a good idea during interviews to let your publicist hurriedly throw their body inbetween you and the interviewer while shrieking “NEXT QUESTION, PLEASE!”

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Hayden Panettiere’s Boyfriend Says Their Relationship Isn’t A Mess

/ November 17, 2018

According to Us Weekly, Hayden Panettiere’s friends are concerned that her current relationship with stool molester (the wooden kind) Brian Hickerson is unhealthy. Hayden’s supposedly been behaving like she’s making up for all the Spring Breaks she missed because of her acting career. In addition to general foolery, the police visited Hayden, Brian, and Brian’s dad in South Carolina last month on a domestic disturbance call. In a statement to Access Hollywood, Brian said they’re just fine, and Hayden’s friends aren’t worried about her. He also wanted everybody to have a great day. He might be a bad influence-type but at least he’s a polite one.

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Jessie J Would Like People To Stop Saying She Looks Like Jenna Dewan

/ November 17, 2018

But which one wore Channing Tatum better? Former professional floor humper Channing and dancer/choreographer/actress Jenna Dewan split after nine years of marriage in September. Since then, Channing has begun mini-golfing with that woman who sings that bang bang into the room song? That’s her, right? Anyway, Jessie J recently read an article that claimed she’s practically face-twins with Channing’s ex. Whichever publication it was also asked readers to choose which one of them was prettier. Miss J (not the good one) wasn’t pleased and had something to say about it on Instagram.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

/ November 17, 2018

Mayor Smoke the Turkey of Ashwaubenon, Wisconsin!

America’s Annual Losing It About Politics At The Dinner Table Scream-a-thon is less than a week away, and in between your Trump-loving uncle still screaming about Crooked Hillary and your Bernie-loving second cousin still screaming about Crooked Hillary, they sometimes shut their scream hole for a second with a big piece of cooked (or overcooked, depending on who’s cooking it) turkey flesh. So because it’s turkey eatin’ season, turkeys are either laying in a freezer coffin at a grocery store, headed to a freezer coffin at a grocery store, or hiding out in Alicia Silverstone’s backyard. But not Smoke the Turkey!

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Birthday Sluts

/ November 17, 2018
Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio (60)
Rocsi Diaz (35)
Sarah Harding (37)
Isaac Hanson (38)
Zoe Bell (40)
Rachel McAdams (40)
Leslie Bibb (44)
Kimya Dawson (46)
David Ramsey (47)
Ronnie DeVoe (51)
Daisy Fuentes (52)
Sophie Marceau (52)

Pic: Universal Pictures

Dylan Walsh (55)
Jonathan Ross (58)
RuPaul (58)
Ramona Singer (62)
Roland Joffe (73)
Danny DeVito (74)
Lorne Michaels (74)
Lauren Hutton (75)
Martin Scorsese (76)
Gordon Lightfoot (80)
Jeff Buckley (1966-1997)
Rock Hudson (1925-1985)
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