SPOILER ALERT: And the new royal baby looks like… wait for it… wait for it… a baby. Although, the newborn prince looks more peaceful to me than a regular baby, and that’s probably because I know that he’ll never experience the stress that is looking at a credit card bill when the minimum amount due is $39.50 and he’s got $12 in his bank account.
Because late-2017 was the moment Hollywood finally turned on the basement light and acknowledged all the creeps lurking in the shadows, 2018’s awards season was all about the #MeToo and Time’s Up movements. The Golden Globes had an all-black dress code and pins, and several high-profile actresses chose to bring Time’s Up activists as their dates. At the Oscars, Ashley Judd, Salma Hayek, and Annabella Sciorra presented an award together. It was all very pro-woman. Except according to Thandie Newton’s recent comments about it, it sounds like there might have been a maximum capacity limit to the girl power parade.
Just try to ignore that tragic poster, which looks like a no-budget travel ad done by an intern on MS Paint using the cheapest clip art they could find (see: that random peacock and Liberace’s anal beads aka those rhinestone disco balls).
When I was laid up in my bed with a jacked-up retina for weeks, my ears swallowed up many audio books including the entire Crazy Rich Asians series. I swallowed those books up like they were an 8″ peen, because as someone who thinks Jackie Collins is the greatest thing to happen to words, the Crazy Rich Asians series has everything I want: opulence, intrigue, glamour, bitchery, and a plot easy enough for my simple brain to follow. So I’ve been waiting and waiting for a trailer for the film version, which is Hollywood’s first all-Asian cast movie since The Joy Luck Club. A teaser trailer was released a few days ago, and it got me nervous, thinking that those cheap bitches in Hollywood turned it into On-A-Budget Asians by making it look like a Lifetime movie. But the full trailer is out and it is ˈä-pyə-lənt. Well, most of it is anyway.
There probably won’t be a season 5 of BBC’s Sherlock because Martin Freeman is a little bitch. Or, Martin doesn’t want to fuck with the show anymore because of the high expectations from rabid Sherlock fans. And you can probably add Benedict Cumberbatch to the list of people who think Martin needs a nappy change. Benedict doesn’t agree with Martin and thinks the fans are A-OK.
I knew last week when Kanye West decided to pop up for Spring like Punxsutawney Phil it was just the beginning of his 2018 KooKoo Tour. After returning from a brief Twitter break Kanye has been tantalizing his fans with a new series of tweets. But one tweet has many of his fans rolling their eyes and throwing up their hands saying “Damn Yeezy…”
Last Thursday, Shania Twain appeared as a guest judge on RuPaul’s Drag Race. An entirely appropriate choice, considering you’d be hard pressed to find a queen who hasn’t turned it out to Man! I Feel Like a Woman. But then just three days later, the same people that were hollering “Werk, Timmins!” were suddenly asking her to sashay away. Shania revealed in an interview with The Guardian published yesterday that had she been able to vote in the 2016 U.S. Presidential election, she would have voted for Donald Trump. Obviously that didn’t sit well with fans, and now she’s walking back what she said.