Fishy got a haircut – Just Jared

Remember when Jessica Alba used to be really hot? – Egotastic!

And here she is back to being MiserAlba – Popsugar

Bai Ling likes taking pictures of herself (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

Heather Locklear is still alive – IDLYITW

Cheryl Tweedy’s nipple slip save – Hollywood Tuna

Brit Brit loses all her toys – Hollywood Rag

Will Smith once again denies he’s boarded the mothership – A Socialite’s Life

Secret celebrity piercings – Cityrag

DMX doesn’t know a Barack – Jezebel

Kristin Davis’ rep has already denied she has a sex tape and that it’s her in the pictures going around the internet. I just saw 13 of the 20 pictures and some look like her and some don’t. TMZ reports that the pictures were taken 5-years ago by an ex-boyfriend. They are currently being shopped around by a California broker. There’s apparently no sex tape – just pictures. It’s taken this long to shop around, because the buzz for celebrity sex pictures is higher now. That and the “Sex and the City” movie is coming out in a few months. HBO’s marketing team has gotten so raunchy. Love it.

Click here to see 13 of the pics, but it’s NSFW! I shouldn’t have to tell you that. I’m surprised that see that much bush. I figured all the SATC women got their business waxed.

I’m trying to push out the thought that the dick in the picture belongs to Alec Baldwin. Rude little pig!

Halle Berry hasn’t officially announced her baby’s name, but PageSix.com claims her name is Clara Stella Berry-Aubry. Hit the snooze button. That name has put me to sleep. I expect a Halle Berry baby name to roll off the tongue liked melted Velveeta. Saying Clara Stella Berry-Aubry makes my mouth feel like it’s full of nails.

In other Halle baby news, she has taken a page from JLo’s book and spent a bunch of cash on three nurseries. Rush & Molloy reports she bought only organic shit at….guess where? Yup, Petit Tresor. A source said she dropped $60,000 on crap like sheets that never had a mist of pesticide on it and a $1,200 diaper bag. How much do you want to bet those pesticide free sheets have pesticides on them? Bitches will believe anything!

I can’t wait to see what magazine will pony up enough cash to have the gorgeous CSBA grace their cover. Mix-up CSBA’s initials and it spells SCAB or CABS.

It’s nice to see that motherhood hasn’t softened Xtina into a natural beauty. Looking like a drag queen hooker has become her signature style. This bitch has enough lipstick on her mouth to keep the Maybelline factory in business for years.

Baby Max is probably covered in red lipstick prints. He is definitely going to grow up being deathly afraid of lipstick. He will be on Maury in 10 years crying about how he can’t go near a tube of lipstick. They will bring out a tube and he will run backstage in tears. It still won’t beat the Maury episode featuring the chick that was afraid of pickles. I love that bitch! Every April 1st, her boyfriend probably paints his dick green just to see her meltdown.

Here’s Xtina and Bat Boy at dinner yesterday.

George Clooney and Julia Roberts have offered Amy Wino $1 million to perform at an event in NYC on May 5th. Giorgio Armani is hosting the event at the Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute and has asked George to offer Wino the gig. A source told the Mirror, “Giorgio has made no secret to his friends that he would love to work with Amy. He sees this party as an ideal opportunity to sound her out about future projects together.”

Wino hasn’t decided if she’s going to take the gig, but she will. 8 balls just don’t buy themselves! What she needs to do is take that money and get one of those face transplants. It’s time for her to start over. She fucked that face up to the point of no return.

And why do people keep throwing money at this mess?! George and Julia might as well as light her crack pipe too.

In this creepy Cheetos commercial, a woman is doing her laundry when some rude bitch says to her, “You know other people are trying to do their laundry.” The woman then notices Chester Cheetah sitting in a chair and playing chess. He says to her in a demon voice, “Felicia, those are her whites in the dryer.” He sounds like Hannibal Lecter! Anyway, Felicia opens the dryer, puts a handful of Cheetos in and then closes the door. She looks back to find Chester has disappeared. At the end of the ad, the words “Join Us – OrangeUnderground.com” appears on the screen.

The OrangeUnderground even has their own YouTube page with tons of videos of people pulling Cheeto pranks.

I always knew Chester was an evil demon sent by Satan to destroy us one preservative at a time.

Source: Slate

Thanks Jackie