Category: Why So Humble?
Julia Fox Gave A Tour Of Her “Underwhelming” NYC Apartment With A “Small Mouse Problem”
When Julia Fox isn’t playing Captain Save-A-Ho to Kim Kardashian by accepting hotel rooms full of designer clothes from Kanye West or being gifted Chanel bags on a private jet by Drake, she’s just a humble New Yorker fighting against overindulgence by keeping it real! Julia took to TikTok yesterday to give a tour of the seemingly normal apartment she shares with her toddler son and “one” mouse (girl, there’s never just one).
Kanye West Is Still Talking About Running For President
Four years ago, Kanye West boldly announced that he would be running for President, and not I’m not talking president of the Kanye West Fan Club, because that’s a title he already holds. He claimed he would be running for President of the United States of America in 2020. He claimed he was very serious. Of course that didn’t happen, because clearly Kanye wants his current favorite President to get a second term. But that hasn’t stopped Kanye from dreaming that big White House dream. Hi politics, guess what? Kanye’s is back!
Miles Teller Is The Epitome Of Humble (UPDATE)
Some people have called Miles Teller (the dude in The Spectacular Now, Whiplash, the new Fantastic Four, etc..) “Shia LaDouche’s understudy,” because he kind of looks like a Shia LaDouche Claymation figure that was sloppily sculpted by someone in a rush. But also because Miles Teller has the potent essence of cocky douche in him.
In past interviews, Miles has spit at the hand that feeds him, looked down at John Cusack’s career and said, “I’ve seen like five minutes of a lot of shit,” when asked if he watched any of J.K. Simmons‘ work before working with him on Whiplash. 28-year-old Miles did a new interview with Esquire and he didn’t really hate on anyone this time around, because he was too busy deep throating his own highball glass of a dick and redefining smug. Miles Teller pretty much went on about how great Miles Teller is. If Miles Teller’s goal was to get people to root for the flying chair while re-watching Whiplash, it might’ve worked!
Kanye West Is As Humble As Ever
Sadly, my dream of Kanye Kardashian naming his next album “Bitch Slapped By A Street Sign” isn’t going to come true. Kanye continued to pay tribute to his own God complex by choosing to name his next album Yeezus. You know, Yeezus as in Ye + Jesus. As in this is the reason why Jesus is shaking his head today. Some of Kanye’s disciples have been calling him “Yeezus” on Twitter, Facebook and blogs for years, but I guess he decided to make the ridiculous nickname official.
Yes, I know the name “Yeezus” is supposed to make me roll my eyes, but I’ve always loved it and I think it’s pretty fitting. To me, Yeezus sounds like something a lady gets when she has a yeast infection. “Doctor, my pussy can’t stop wheezing!” “Oh, that’s just a symptom of your yeast infection. Your pussy’s got the yeezus!“
The cover of Kanye’s album is also pretty fitting. It looks like a pile of dog shit wrapped in a gold condom wrapper on top of a black table covered in jizz splatters. It’s perfect!
And in case you missed the best part of last night’s SNL, here’s Kanye awkwardly throwing side-eyes while everyone around him hugged and gave love to each other at the end of the show.
That’s pretty much me at every party I go to.
(GIFs via Yahoo!’s newest adopted child)