Category: White Collar Crimes
Felicity Huffman Already Has A Post-Prison Job Lined Up At ABC
A year after serving 11 days of her 14-day sentence at the Pinky’s Up Lite Lockup For Gentile Ladies Of Means, Felicity Huffman is ready to get back to work. According to Deadline, Felicity’s already landed her first post-conviction role in a pilot for a family-friendly comedy described as a “funny, surprising and occasionally heartbreaking half-hour about love, loss, family and Triple-A baseball” for ABC. Felicity will star (yes STAR, no more supporting role for Ms. Huffman, she’s more famous than ever) as “the unlikely owner of a minor-league baseball team” who inherits the team after her husband dies. I guess ABC is hoping that the only thing we remember about Felicity paying $15,000 to have someone fix her daughter’s SAT scores, getting caught, pleading guilty, and going to jail for it, was the adorable way she said “ruh-roh!” when she knew the jig was up.
Lori Loughlin’s Family Is In “Chaos”
Lori Loughlin WISHES she could get roasted by Martha Stewart for looking schlubby in a pair of coveralls she didn’t even have to wear long enough that they require laundering. Speaking of laundering, Lori and her husband Mossimo Giannulli still insist that they don’t know nothing about it, have never even seen a washing machine let alone used one, and they certainly don’t know where all those wet $100 bills came from. Yet somehow, Lori and Mossimo got caught putting too much detergent in the washing machine, and just like when Bobby did that on The Brady Bunch, the avalanche of bubbles is sending their family into chaos!!!
Martha Stewart Offered Felicity Huffman Some Fashion Advice, Ex-Con To Con
Martha Stewart really is the type of gangster who would greet you with an artistically arranged autumnal bouquet she harvested from her own orchard in one hand, and a shank made from a filed down late Victorian pewter fish knife in the other. Martha and the recently incarcerated Felicity Huffman have more in common than having slept more than one night on sub 800 thread count sheets while doing time. Both also have impressive cardigan collections, and were probably raised to never leave the house looking a hot mess. Well, Martha thinks Felicity needs to remember her upbringing and extend that directive to never leaving the Big House looking a mess either.