Martha Stewart Offered Felicity Huffman Some Fashion Advice, Ex-Con To Con

October 23, 2019 / Posted by:

Martha Stewart really is the type of gangster who would greet you with an artistically arranged autumnal bouquet she harvested from her own orchard in one hand, and a shank made from a filed down late Victorian pewter fish knife in the other. Martha and the recently incarcerated Felicity Huffman have more in common than having slept more than one night on sub 800 thread count sheets while doing time. Both also have impressive cardigan collections, and were probably raised to never leave the house looking a hot mess. Well, Martha thinks Felicity needs to remember her upbringing and extend that directive to never leaving the Big House looking a mess either.

While on a panel at the Vanity Fair summit (Felicity was otherwise occupied, otherwise I’m sure she would have been there too), Martha offered Felicity some sisterly feedback on her prison lewk. Martha was not impressed with Felicity’s Mrs. Murdock From Grease Goes To An Invitation Only Underground Night Brunch In Los Feliz ensemble. You remember, this one!

She said it looked “schlumpy” and that she needed to “style her outfit a little bit more”. Martha! What’s she supposed to do? Pay one of her fellow inmates to make her a coordinating scrunchie in the shop out of discarded rags and the elastic from one of those God awful scratchy ass fitted bed sheets? In this prison economy?!

Fun fact: Martha leaned Yiddish from Bernie Madoff! Here’s Martha telling it like it is.

I love how Martha has no sympathy whatsoever for Felicity’s plight. And why should she? Martha ain’t no snitch, just ask her good friend Snoop. She did hard time for her crimes. Five months in a minimum security prison will change a person. But not Martha! She’s still the same old G that she always was.

Pic: Twitter

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