Kraft is looking to get sexy this Valentine’s Day and is running a new Kraft Mac Is For Lovers campaign, which has me thinking, “The fuck?” Kraft’s new Big Bowl mac and cheese is apparently the perfect Valentine’s Day meal for couples with children they want to quickly feed and put to bed so they can hump each other in their locked bedrooms down the hall.
Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Big Bowls will have the perfect amount of large noodles and cheesiness to feed your kids into a carb coma so you turn your spouse out.
This is part of a contest at KraftMacIsForLovers.com where you can sign-up for a chance to win these sexuality-saving macaroni bowls before they hit the market on February 15:
With more noodles & cheese, Kraft Big Bowls make your life easy so you can get cooking in the bedroom. Visit https://t.co/ECQWMBFUdc for a chance to win a Big Bowl & romantic goodies in time for Valentine’s Day. No Purch Necessary. Rules: https://t.co/Cv5TSTKoN5 Ends 2/9, 18+US
— Kraft Macaroni & Cheese (@kraftmacncheese) February 5, 2020
And why did Kraft decide that sexing up mac and cheese was the way to go to sell it? Marketing Dive explains:
“Kraft Heinz’s own research conducted in December found that 86% of parents would like intimacy with their partner on Valentine’s Day, but a quarter of these people said their children would get in the way of a romantic evening.”
Marriage problems? Slap some mac and cheese on it! Yes, a big bow of noodles and fake cheese ready in three and a half minutes is the solution to all your marital sex problems–so go ahead and put that amateur-bondage kit from Amazon away!