Quibi, which it turns out is not actually some kind of rare Pokémon like I thought but is actually that mobile streaming app that offers “quick bites” of content you have to pay for when you could just sit there and refresh Twitter a million times for free, is on life support. According to Vox, after making its debut just 6 months ago, Quibu has resorted to staring into a mirror while putting lipstick on, a single tear streaming down one luridly rouged cheek, before bravely and resolutely clip-clopping out on impossibly high Lucite platform heels to sell itself on the streets to the highest bidder. After months of floundering, Quibi is looking for a buyer as a possible solution to their “oopsie we built something nobody wants” problem.
Have you downloaded Quibi? Apparently, no one has recently. The streaming service which based its whole platform idea on delivering short content meant to be taken in quick bursts has been struggling during the coronavirus lockdown. It seems people don’t want to watch short clips of Chrissy Teigen making arbitrary legal rulings and shit when they could just binge Netflix for twelve hours at a time. Quibi has laid off some employees and cut overtime for others. Meanwhile, Reese Witherspoon got a $6 million check to narrate one of Quibi’s worst-performing shows.