Last week, Amanda Bynes took a very sharp sewing pin and popped the balloon of hopeful optimism that was floating above her personal life, when she responded to reports that the police were involved in a messy domestic situation between herself and her fiance, Paul Michael, by accusing Paul of abusing Schedule II drugs and hiding salmon under his mother’s bed. It was the kind of accusations that, when combined together, created a three-headed hydra of WTF, and definitely required a comprehensive explanation. Amanda has decided to do just that, and she’d like to clarify a few of the accusations she made against Paul. Some confirmations, some corrections.
Amanda Bynes Accused Her Fiance Of Doing Crack And He Called The Cops On Her When She Tried To Kick Him Out
Just when things seemed to be going so well for her, having very recently been released from her 9-year conservatorship, Amanda Bynes is once again involved in some bizarre, dark-sided messiness. According to TMZ, Amanda’s fiance of 2 years, Paul Michael, called the cops on her because she tried to kick him out of her house after accusing him of using crack, “looking at mom-and-son porn” and hiding salmon under his mom’s bed. I wish I was kidding. I wish TMZ was kidding. I wish the LAPD was kidding. Hell, I wish this entire year was kidding. In fact, I’m beginning to wonder if humanity itself is just an elaborate April Fools Day joke and that the Big Bang was the result of the universe throwing a cherry bomb into the galaxy’s toilet. It would explain a lot.
About a month ago, we all found out that 33-year-old Amanda Bynes got engaged to a dude in his 20s named Paul Michael, a dude she met in AA and has only known for a few months. We then heard that Amanda’s mom wasn’t exactly buying mason jars and raffia bows on Amazon (since nearly every damn wedding I’ve been to in the past 5 years has those as their centerpieces) and vowed to not sign off on the marriage, which is something she’d have to do for it to happen because Amanda is still under a conservatorship. And then we heard that during a court hearing, a judge ordered Amanda into a psychiatric facility after meeting with her family, and Amanda at first agreed to go but never checked in, and Paul reportedly called off the engagement when he heard about the current state of her mental health. But THEN, Paul Michael himself ran his ass of to Page Six to tell them that they never broke up, she’s in a residential treatment center (but can come and go as she pleases), and that a hacker got into their Instagram accounts and deleted all the pictures of them together. So yeah…
So while I may have gotten the doctor card a couple of times while playing the Game of Life, I am not a psychologist, but to me, bringing a baby into this situation doesn’t seem like the best idea. But last night, both Amanda and Paul posted an ultrasound picture of a fetus and “sources” claim she indeed has a case of the babies. Well, I guess 2020 just had to throw another Molotov cocktail on the bonfire of WTF that is itself.