This coronabitch truly does not care if you have cheekbones for the gods or a blackhead riddled inverted troll dick, she is coming for most of us one way or another. And because tests for COVID-19 are more precious than gold at the moment, the sexy and the ugly amoung us (not to mention the subjective in between) may never be sure if the novel coronavirus actually paid us a visit or not (especially true for the asymptomatic). Take OBJECTIVELY SEXY Nyle DiMarco for example. Yesterday, Nyle posted a video on Instagram letting people know that while he’s feeling better now, he was “really sick” the past few days, and was experiencing symptoms consistent with COVID-19 infection. Nyle’s a Deaf actor and activist who has won Dancing With The Stars and America’s Next Top Model, which was presumably enough to grant him access to a test. But even though Nyle’s pretty sure he has it, he declined the test stating “sick patients need it more than I do.” You know how the Grinch’s heart grew three sizes when he did a mitzvah? Well that just happened to my pussy.
According to Entertainment Weekly:
The deaf model, who is 30, revealed on his Twitter feed that he began experiencing a spiked fever, chills, sore throat and a mild cough – all symptoms of the virus – as well as a lack of smell and taste starting last Sunday. He said he texted his doctor and kept himself on self-quarantine while keeping an eye out for any respiratory problems. He says he’s recovering but remains in isolation.
“I’d really like to stress the importance of testing,” he signed on social media. “Of course testing is critical and it’s been proven in some countries like South Korea to greatly help the efforts of combating Coronavirus. In a perfect world I would take that test. However, the U.S. lacks enough test kits for everyone. if you are healthy and if you have no respiratory issues I strongly encourage you to be mindful of sick patients and allow them to get tested if they need it more than you do. And please stay home.”
He ends his message by saying, “we’re all in this together. Let’s do it.”
Here’s Nyle’s message. And you can watch it right here, on whatever device you like, without padding Oprah’s pockets!
View this post on Instagram
I do not typically do this but I wanted to share something… I’ve been really sick and I am now on the mend. It is very possible I contracted coronavirus and I have access to get tested but I do not want to. The reason is because there is a shortage of covid-19 test kits in the U.S. and the sick patients need it more than I do. For 48 hours starting Sunday night, I had a fever, body chills, a sore throat and a mild cough. All these are symptomatic of COVID-19. Some with COVID-19 have reported not being able to taste or smell. That was my experience too. I knew I wasn’t a high risk so I stayed calm. I communicated with my doctor and self-quarantined. I kept an eye out for any respiratory issues because if it worsened, it could be deadly. But I recovered…. And I still am self-isolating. I’d like to stress that testing is important. Widespread testing has been a key part for some countries like South Korea’s efforts in handling Covid-19. In a perfect world, I’d take the test. Unfortunately the U.S. lacks enough test kits. If you are healthy and have no respiratory issues, I encourage you to be mindful of sick patients that need to get tested more than you do. And stay at home to avoid spreading and help flattening the curve. We’re in this together. Let look out for each other!!
Well shit, it’s easy for Nyle to tell people to stay home and self-isolate because when he does it, he gets to sit around all day in pajamas playing with Nyle’s gorgeous balls. What about the rest of us who are stuck self-isolating with inferior hairlines, struggle chest hair, eyes that don’t pierce shit, or worst of all, no access to a dick at all?!? In #thesehorniestoftimes, let’s hope Nyle is spending his time in isolation furiously masturbating. For all us.