Category: Mark Zuckerberg
Aaron Sorkin Ripped Mark Zuckerberg A New One In An Open Letter
Aaron Sorkin woke up and had the time, because he let Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg fucking have it. If you’ve ever wanted to watch a rich powerful white guy snatch the wig off another rich powerful white guy, read the open letter Aaron published in The New York Times. It is full of hot scalding facts and it leaves Mark bald and crying. I loved it.
Mark Zuckerberg Wants To Clear Up His Comments On Holocaust Deniers
Just days after Elon Musk’s pedophile comment about a Thai cave rescuer, another nerdy billionaire has said, “Hold my $1,000 glass of The Glenvinet 50-year-old scotch malt whisky,” to Elon. Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg is the next one making a stop on the: “Sorry For Being Sticking My Billionaire Foot In My Billionaire Mouth” train. Choo-choo!
Jim Carrey Turned His Artistic Focus On Mark Zuckerberg
We all had to read A Tale Of Two Cities in high school, which meant the SparkNotes for A Tale Of Two Cities was sold out at every Borders (RIP) in a 25-mile radius. One thing I remember is that if Madame Defarge knitted your name, you and your neck were fuuuuuucked and heading to the guillotine. It seems like Jim Carrey is the new Madame Defarge with his portraits. He came for Donald Trump and Sarah Huckabee Sanders the other day, and now he’s shifted to the man responsible for why we spend 80% of the workday looking at a newsfeed full of cat and cooking videos. Continue reading
Tech Titans Argue About Artificial Intelligence
Tesla and SpaceX CEO Elon Musk and Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg are publicly debating the future of Artificial Intelligence (AI). Gloomy Gus Elon thinks robots are evil and are going to pull a Dave and kill us all. Pollyanna Mark thinks that robots are our friends and can help us, like Rosie on The Jetsons.
Avril Lavigne Wants Mark Zuckerberg To Leave Nickelback Alone!!!!
Avril Lavigne may have moved on from one busted-haired musician that won’t go away to another. But that doesn’t mean she won’t stand up and defend Nickelback’s honor when someone takes a dump on them. I know, “honor” was a weird choice of word to describe what Nickelback has.
Mark Zuckerberg And His Wife Will Give Nearly All Of Their Facebook Shares To Charity
Mark Zuckerberg and his wife Priscilla Chan’s new daughter, Max, was born a week ago and in a really long open letter to her that he posted on Facebook today, he announced that they will slowly give 99% of their Facebook shares to charity over the course of their lives. I guess at Harvard they don’t teach you that one-week old babies can’t read letters!
But seriously, you don’t have to worry about Mark and Priscilla pulling out cans from public trash cans to pay their electric bill, because their Facebook shares are currently worth $45 billion. You know you’re a crazy stupid kind of rich when you can give away most of your fortune and still be a crazy stupid kind of rich.
Mark and Priscilla will manage the money through a newly formed organization called the Chan Zuckerberg Initiative. I guess it’s going to be like the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation. Here’s a piece of their letter:
As you begin the next generation of the Chan Zuckerberg family, we also begin the Chan Zuckerberg Initiative to join people across the world to advance human potential and promote equality for all children in the next generation. Our initial areas of focus will be personalized learning, curing disease, connecting people and building strong communities.
We will give 99% of our Facebook shares — currently about $45 billion — during our lives to advance this mission. We know this is a small contribution compared to all the resources and talents of those already working on these issues. But we want to do what we can, working alongside many others.
We’ll share more details in the coming months once we settle into our new family rhythm and return from our maternity and paternity leaves. We understand you’ll have many questions about why and how we’re doing this.
The New York Times says that they will start by giving no more than $1 billion to their organization every year for the next 3 years.
If I was baby Max, I’d take one look at that letter and say, “Too long, didn’t read. Am I still filthy rich or what?!”
And you probably just heard what sounded like several bags of silicone hitting the floor. Oh, that was just the Kardashians passing out over the thought of giving 99% of their fortune to charity.
Pic: Getty