Category: Lamar Odom

A Decade Of Rash, I Mean, Kardashian

August 17, 2017 / Posted by:

It’s hard to believe, but it’s been a solid ten years since our screens weren’t dominated by nasal-voiced broads hawking lip plumper and eyelash extensions. The Hollywood Reporter is out with a biblical-length profile titled “The Kardashian Decade” entailing all the behind the scenes dish on Keeping Up With The Kardashians. The serious cover, nude-colored wardrobes and the fact that the whole thing blurts “KIM IS MAKE-UP FREE! ALERT THE TOWN CRIER” in the first three sentences are supposed to make us think this is Raw! Unscripted! Real! Kar! Dash!

The fact that it looks like Kris Jenner’s head was photoshopped onto her body makes us realize this is business as usual. Continue reading

Kardashian Exes Convene To Plot Retaking The Iron Throne

July 27, 2017 / Posted by:

Blac Chyna, Lamar Odom, Tyga, and Bella Thorne were all at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel Wednesday night, and, no, it wasn’t because there was a $4.99 buffet. I checked. Entertainment Tonight says Blac was there for something called an launch, which apparently is some sort of streaming service… girl, that just sounds like a faster way to spread revenge porn- not exactly something these four horsemen of the apocalypse should want promoted!

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Khloe And Lamar’s Divorce Deal Has Been Finalized

October 23, 2016 / Posted by:

A beautiful love story has reached its bittersweet ending. I’m talking about Khloe Kardashian and all of the press she could wring from her Lamar Odom’s alleged drug problems. Koven kween Kris Jenner, perhaps feeling generous after successfully burning down Dennis Hof’s house with her mind (according to Dennis), must have given the OK for daughter Khloe and Lamar to sign off on their divorce. Hell, the show might not come back (yeah right) so why not take the opportunity to trim the cast a bit? Less supporting characters, the more money for her witchmaster general wardrobe.

TMZ reports that they came to an agreement on their mutual property and signed legal documents on Friday. All they have to do now is wait for the judge to sign on it (which will probably happen in December) and they’re free! Lamar is free to hopefully realize that he doesn’t have to mess around with the drugs and alcohol anymore to numb himself from the pain of being a Kardashian plot device. Khloe is free to find the next poor bastard to snare in the family’s tentacles (and snack upon the livestock of her choosing).

Khloe first filed for divorce in 2013 but took her time, because a “reality” show needs scripts and a troubled marriage can almost always provide those season finale ratings. She dropped the divorce last year when Lamar went belly-up from drugs in a whorehouse in Nevada. She later re-filed, which brings us here.

Hopefully Kris Humphries (remember him?) is around after this to help big brother Lamar and get him to join a “Tall Guy Survivors Of The Kardashian Koven” group.

Pic: Splash

The Owner Of The Brothel Where Lamar Odom Overdosed Thinks The Kardashians Kursed Him

October 15, 2016 / Posted by:

This week marked the one-year anniversary of former Kardashian husband Lamar Odom’s overdose kontretemps at a Nevada whorehouse. As you know, former NBA player Lamar (probably having experienced an epiphany along the lines of “my wife only married me because her family are professional fame whores and they kollect famous penises of color like some people collect coins from the Franklin Mint),” mired himself in leased vagine and hard drugs and nearly died at the Love Ranch South in Pahrump, Nevada. Well, the owner of the Love Ranch, Dennis Hof, has discovered that the merest whiff of a Kardashian in your life (think burning pool innertubes and formaldehyde) brings ruin and devastation. His house in Reno burned down and he thinks the Kardashians kursed him!

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