Hulk Hogan Got Dropped By The WWE Over A Transcript Of Him Saying Racist Shit

Hulk: So whatcha gonna do when the Hulkster runs racist on you?

WWE: Um, fire you.

WWE announced this morning that they are done with barbecued piece of gristle Hulk Hogan because of a leaked transcript where he uses his deep fried mouth slit to shit out the n-word a bunch of times. The WWE’s website is now 40% less orange, because they have already erased every sign of Hulk Hogan from it. They released this statement:

“WWE terminated its contract with Terry Bollea (aka Hulk Hogan). WWE is committed to embracing and celebrating individuals from all backgrounds as demonstrated by the diversity of our employees, performers and fans worldwide.”

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The Cloud Hackers Have Released The First Peen Pics, And They Belong To Nick Hogan

According to TMZ, the cloud hackers took a break from releasing more of Jennifer Lawrence’s stolen nipple pics this weekend to finally gave the people what they’ve been demanding for weeks now  – PICS OF FAMOUS DICKS. Except they took our request a little too literally and leaked stolen pics of Hulk Hogan’s dickhead-looking son Nick Hogan. TMZ says the photos are pretty graphic (insert cat saying NO NO NO NO NO video here), including pictures of him from high school, Nick doing some No Holds Barred moves on a couple of ladies, pics of his dick, and several pictures of (WARNING GRAB A BARF BAG) his mom Linda Hogan wearing a thong and bending over.

But getting hacked could actually be bad news bears for Nick Hogan. TMZ says a couple of the stolen high school pics feature – you guessed it – underage high school girls, which means both he and the hackers are technically in possession of what is technically child porn. Ruh roh. Of course, Nick is a dummy and he’s half denying it. He isn’t denying that the underage high school girl pics are his – he claims he’s kept almost everything that was recorded or photographed from his life. But he says the dick pics aren’t pictures of his dick.

Obviously, the silver lining is that they didn’t release any dick pics of Hulk Hogan. My eyes don’t need to see The Hulkster’s HGH-jacked overcooked jerky-looking Lil’ Hulkamaniac or his silky bandana-wrapped butter yellow pubes.

Not funny, cloud hackers! Of all the penis pics that could have been released (Jon Hamm, Joe Manjello, Jon Hamm, Christopher Meloni, or, I dunno, JON HAMM) the cloud hackers decided to kick off The Fappening 4: The Tappening by releasing stolen iCloud dick pics of Hulk Hogan’s busted sperm. I feel like at any minute, a black and white hologram of Rod Serling is going to appear behind me saying: “The desperate Dorito-dust-covered creature seen before you is Allison, a woman who just realized that when it comes to dick pics, be careful what you wish for. Because sometimes the dick pics you get aren’t the dick pics you want.” Cue the Twilight Zone neener-neener music!

Brooke Hogan Got Engaged

And in a surprise twist, it wasn’t Hulk Hogan who proposed to Brooke.

Potent classiness is probably dripping down your screen right now and it’s because that picture of a dude in an American t-shirt proposing to Brooke Hogan (who is keeping it exquisite in a white cutout dress and flip flops) in front of the fake Eiffel Tower in Las Vegas is several layers of elegant. Add Brooke Hogan’s name to the long list of hos who got engaged at the Bellagio. (Seriously, EVERYBODY gets engaged in front of the Bellagio’s squirt show.)

25-year-old Brooke Instagrammed (via UsWeekly) totally natural and not-at-all staged pictures of her 25-year-old boyfriend, Phil Costa of the Dallas Cowboys, slipping a ring on her finger in front of the fake Eiffel Tower in Las Vegas last night. As Hulk Hogan loudly weeped into his bandana over his little girl marrying someone other than him, Brooke wrote this:

“Happiest moment of my LIFE. I am marrying my best friend. I wouldn’t choose anyone else. I am so lucky and grateful.”

Never mind that Michele Bachmann is screaming, “See what happens when you legalize gay marriage, libtards!”, I can’t wait to see the white denim and lace chaps that honorary gay man Brooke will wear on her wedding day.

Pics: Instagram

FYI: Hulk Hogan Is Still Creepy

Remember when barf trickled out of your ears when your brain continuously vomited after seeing pictures of Hulk Hogan lotion-ing up his grown daughter’s ass? Then remember when your soul cried itself into the fetal position after his phone rang in his sex tape and his ring tone was Brooke’s song? Well, here’s another nugget from Hulk Hogan that will give you the full body dry heaves. Hulk tweeted this picture of his daughter Brooke Hogan and added the caption: “Brooke’s legs.“

WHY?!!!!!!!!?

This sick ass exploding hot dog in a bandanna motherfucker. (“Don’t you mean daughterfu...” – you “Stop right there.” – me) It’s one thing for Hulk Hogan to drool all over his daughter, but it’s another to let everyone else know that he drools over Brooke’s legs. And when Hulk drools over Brooke’s legs, I don’t even want to know what he does with that drool. Just like simple math, that’s a place my brain never wants to go.

Source: Lords of Pain via ONTD

Hulk Hogan Is Opening A Breastaraunt

Florida is the land where PCP zombies eat people’s faces, Christian Slater’s importance isn’t recognized, and true beauty is found. It will now have a state restaurant because prototypical Sunshine State resident Hulk Hogan is opening an eatery. Brooke Hogan must need a job, and personal buttocks masseuse to her father has probably taken a John Travolta-esque turn for the worse by now. It’s going to be one of those places where the waitresses dress like perky whores, and use their tits to distract you from the fact that the food tastes like shit. Hence the term (via The Huffington Post) “breastaraunt.”

[Sidenote – It should be noted that the food at those places is bogus except for the chicken wings at Hooters. Holy Jeezum, those are good. My other fag-o-trons and I often go there just for the wings. We have to use the table tent to shield our eyes from all the orange nyloned cameltoe while we eat, though.]

“Hogan’s Beach” is opening on New Year’s Eve in Tampa Bay, so I urge you to call for reservations now or download some sort of app to do it in case the line is busy.

He told the Tampa Bay Times that it’s “going to be Jimmy Buffett’s [Margaritaville] times 10; Hooters times 10” with Hulk Hogan shit on the walls like it was T.G.I.Fuckhead’s. It will also feature “a mechanical shark ride, volleyball courts, fire pits, cabanas and tiki huts.”

You know, the purpose of this post was to bag on Hulk Hogan’s burn victim tits’ opening a restaurant. But getting shitfaced and watching drunken Floridian fupa queens break their asses being hurled from a mechanical shark might be a good time. I’m in. I’ll just stick to the assuredly overpriced drinks. You can assume that the food is on par with a Guy Fieri venture.