Someone Tried To Come For Kylie Jenner’s Hair Last Night

There must be a rumor going around the Kardashian Fan Klub that one can harness their fame whore powers by grabbing a clump of their 100% Hellbeast hair extensions, because last night someone tried to yank on Kylie Jenner’s hair. For those of you looking at the picture above and wondering if that’s the face Kylie made when it happened, no it’s not. It’s actually a picture of Kylie at a candy store opening earlier this week. And if I had to guess, I’d say she’s probably doing her best “how Kim Kardashian got famous” face.

According to TMZ, Kylie almost had a “man down” before watching her boyfriend Tyga perform with Chris Brown at a show in Anaheim last night. Thankfully it happened close to home, so Pimp Mama Kris’ tune-up crew didn’t have to travel very far to readjust her #1 girl. Although technically, saying “close to home” is sort of redundant, considering Chris Brown is one more country closer to being banned from everywhere.

Kylie, who still has green hair and still looks like the trampy younger sister of Sailor Neptune, was walking through a crowd of her adoring fans when one of them decided to see whether Kylie was wearing a wig or not. Unfortunately for that fan, Kylie still has some of her original parts, once of which is her hair, and they failed to get a Kardashian Kheepsake.

I’m sure Kim has already called TMZ up and begged for a copy of that video so she can play it on a loop at Kylie’s employee of the month celebration.

Pic: Splash

Ralph Lauren’s Drunk Niece Jenny Gets Arrested And The Hearing Is Held In A Bar

My understanding of courtroom stuff is limited to when Judge Judy says ‘judgement for the plaintiff in the amount of $500’ so this story is as surprising to me as it might be to anyone else who’s only access to law stuff is re-runs of Law & Order: SVU. On a recent flight from Barcelona to the US, Ralph Lauren’s niece Jenny Lauren got her mile-high swerve on which turned into getting her rage on. However, according to The Daily Mail, trying to sneak a copy of SkyMall into her purse as she exited the cabin was the least of her problems:

Jenny Lauren, 41, is accused of breaching the peace on board a transatlantic Delta Air Lines flight, which had to be diverted to Shannon Airport in the west of Ireland yesterday afternoon.

Dressed in a smart black dress, coat and boots, the New York-based jewellery designer wept before the hearing and then clutched her hands as she appeared before Killaloe District Court.

The unusual sitting was held in the downstairs function room of the Brian Boru pub – named after the ancient High King of Ireland – as there is no dedicated courthouse in the area.

Ms Lauren sat only feet away from Guinness and Heineken taps and under switched off disco lights as her name was called out in the licenced premises which was not in operation today.

When did Ireland get so touchy about being a drunk-ass mess? I just naturally assumed that when one purchased an Irish plane ticket, it came with TSA-approved bottles of whiskey and a voucher for 1 in-flight fist-fight. But maybe they would have let her off with a warning if Jenny hadn’t given officers some first class-level American attitude:

Officer Yvette Walsh told the court that when the jewellery designer was being detained at the airport she told officers: ‘Can you say that in English please?’

Oh, fuuuuuuuuuuudge. What were you thinking, Jenny?!? This isn’t Canada, where people cry maple syrup tears when you insult their accents. I wouldn’t go fucking around with a country who has a drink named after their most popular terrorist act.

(Pic via Twitter)

Doug Hutchinson And The Porn Iguana Are Working Things Out (At Least When Everybody’s Watching)

The wine tumblers of romantics everywhere overflowed with the tears of angel kittens when the news broke last week that everybody’s favorite couple, Dough (typo stays) Hutchinson and Courtney Stodden were ending their marriage. After two years, countless barf-inducing appearances and Courtney’s morph into a future Caption This Contest photo, she pulled the marital butt plug, reportedly leaving Dough (I swear, I’m not doing it on purpose) heartbroken.

Radar is forcefully breathing life into the two people on the planet who give two shits or a piss if these crazy kids make it work, saying the two were seen at Hollywood’s Musso & Frank’s Thursday night, a move not at all orchestrated for publicity.

“Courtney and Doug were all over each other at the restaurant, acting like they always did when they were together,” an eyewitness exclusively told Radar.

“Doug told people in the restaurant that he and Courtney were back together and working it out.”

According to the eyewitness, Stodden and Hutchison remained cuddled up their booth all night, but didn’t hesitate to talk and take photos with fans who noticed their presence.

“They were hot and heavy in that booth!” the source said.

“It’s obvious how much Doug wants to be with Courtney, and I’m not sure if it’s completely reciprocated…but I think she’ll stay with him for the time being because she can’t get enough of the attention they get as a couple.”

This hit me right in the feels. Nothing says love quite like letting some old, greasy dude paw you while you look around to see who’s watching, right? This is right up there with Romeo and Juliet, if Juliet was a fame hungry piece of plastic with the mental fortitude of the contents of a rock quarry and Romeo was completing his transformation into a banana slug dressed up for Halloween as k.d. lang.

Afterward, Courtney and Doug probably went home, where she tottered off with Dourtney on her wannabe Shauna Sand hooker heels to Google herself in her well-appointed Hello Kitty room, while Doug retreated to the garage to contemplate man’s existential dilemma while restocking the candy supply in his windowless van.

(Photo: Wenn)