Doug Hutchinson And The Porn Iguana Are Working Things Out (At Least When Everybody’s Watching)
The wine tumblers of romantics everywhere overflowed with the tears of angel kittens when the news broke last week that everybody’s favorite couple, Dough (typo stays) Hutchinson and Courtney Stodden were ending their marriage. After two years, countless barf-inducing appearances and Courtney’s morph into a future Caption This Contest photo, she pulled the marital butt plug, reportedly leaving Dough (I swear, I’m not doing it on purpose) heartbroken.
Radar is forcefully breathing life into the two people on the planet who give two shits or a piss if these crazy kids make it work, saying the two were seen at Hollywood’s Musso & Frank’s Thursday night, a move not at all orchestrated for publicity.
“Courtney and Doug were all over each other at the restaurant, acting like they always did when they were together,” an eyewitness exclusively told Radar.
“Doug told people in the restaurant that he and Courtney were back together and working it out.”
According to the eyewitness, Stodden and Hutchison remained cuddled up their booth all night, but didn’t hesitate to talk and take photos with fans who noticed their presence.
“They were hot and heavy in that booth!” the source said.
“It’s obvious how much Doug wants to be with Courtney, and I’m not sure if it’s completely reciprocated…but I think she’ll stay with him for the time being because she can’t get enough of the attention they get as a couple.”
This hit me right in the feels. Nothing says love quite like letting some old, greasy dude paw you while you look around to see who’s watching, right? This is right up there with Romeo and Juliet, if Juliet was a fame hungry piece of plastic with the mental fortitude of the contents of a rock quarry and Romeo was completing his transformation into a banana slug dressed up for Halloween as k.d. lang.
Afterward, Courtney and Doug probably went home, where she tottered off with Dourtney on her wannabe Shauna Sand hooker heels to Google herself in her well-appointed Hello Kitty room, while Doug retreated to the garage to contemplate man’s existential dilemma while restocking the candy supply in his windowless van.
(Photo: Wenn)