When I heard that Brennin Hunt, the dude who played Roger Davis in Fox’s live TV production of Jonathan Larson’s Rent, broke his ankle during a rehearsal the night before the live show was supposed to go down, I figured that his understudy pulled a Nomi Malone by pushing him down the stairs so that they could take the role and become an overnight STAH! But that didn’t happen, because Brennin Hunt didn’t have an understudy. None of the leads did. Fox decided to test fate by not getting the lead roles covered, and fate spit back by saying, “Wrong move, trick.”
So because a little thing called “a broken foot” kept Brennin from jumping on tables and running around, Fox decided to mostly scrap the live show. The bad news is that they aired a dress rehearsal from Saturday night. The good news for the actors who didn’t really give it their all during the dress rehearsal is that nobody really watched it. Rent: Not So Live flopped in the ratings with 3.42 million viewers. I mean, it got beat by America’s Funniest Home Videos.
Kevin Spacey, right? He was that guy who was on the biggest show on Netflix and then we all found out he was an alleged huge pervert and he got fired from that same hugely popular show? You remember. Well, he had a new movie called Billionaire Boys Club that was supposed to be released but after all the shit hit the fan, and then continued to hit the fan, they decided it would be best to not make such a big deal about the whole thing.
According to The Hollywood Reporter, the movie was released on Video-On-Demand last month and then it was decided to quietly open the film this Friday. They must have fucking whispered about it in a soundproof room located in the Earth’s core, because absolutely NO ONE heard about it and the movie brought in a staggering $126 on opening day.
If you ever watched all three seasons of Growing Up Gotti on A&E, you’ll remember Victoria Gotti pretending to be some kind of Miranda Priestly of Star Magazine while her three sons tried to be singers or princes of Long Island or whatever. It was canceled after the third season, but after last weekend’s box office results, it’s clear people would way rather see Victoria’s staged reality show than watch Kelly Preston and John Travolta sully the good Gotti name with their hairpieces, faux gaudy jewelry, and sneers! And it flopped without any help from Lindsay Lohan. Continue reading
Shia LeBeouf isn’t just a struggling artist. He’s also an actor, remember? Shia was in a 2015 movie called Man Down in which he played a US Marine stuck in Afghanistan while his wife, played by Kate Mara, cheats on him with his best friend, Jai Courtney.
Man Down was shown at a single theater in the UK over the weekend, and ComScore (via Variety) reports it made a total of £7 (or about $8.70). Variety says that the UK Cinema Association calculates the average movie admission price at £7.21, which means only one person bought a ticket to see Man Down. Something tells me that single ticket was bought as a cover by someone who was too embarrassed to utter the words “One adult for The Boss Baby, please.”
Man Down premiered – although it really does feel like an insult to injury to call it that – at the Reel Cinema theater in Burnley, England. It was simultaneously released digitally on demand, which sort of kills any reason to go and see it in person. That’s not to say that no one saw Man Down; it premiered at the 2015 Venice Film Festival and the 2015 Toronto International Film Festival. It was released in the US in December and made almost $455,000. It currently holds a 15% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Shoot, maybe Shia could move it to another theater and see if it does better there?
This is the sort of news that is bound to make Katherine Heigl feel a teeny tiny bit better about herself. Finally, a movie that sold less tickets in a theater than her legendary flop Zyzzyx Road. “Well, my movie sucked ass, but at least six people went to see it.”
Ghost in the Shell made a grand total of $19 million at the domestic box office this past weekend and that’s almost enough to cover the movie’s wig budget. What am I saying? That busted and raggedy “Moe Howard with two weave pieces taped to its sides” wig didn’t even cost $19. Ghost in the Shell, which cost $110 million to make, came in third behind The Boss Baby, which isn’t a Donald Trump biopic, ($49 million) and Beauty and the Beast ($47.5 million). Yeah, Ghost in the Shell got its ass beat bad by a yodeling CGI buffalo and a bossy computer animated baby in a teeny tiny Men’s Wearhouse suit.
Just a few days after Ben Affleck received a his 10th Razzie nomination, Variety is reporting that Live By Night is a huge flop. Ben wrote, directed, produced and starred in Live By Night, so this news is bound to kill his ego’s boner. The film cost Warner Bros. $65 million to make, plus tens of millions more to market (according to Variety). Live By Night was released exactly two weeks ago in theaters, and has brought in a whopping – drum roll please – $16.5 million worldwide. That’s barely Ben Affleck’s hair-maintenance budget.
Variety says that when you subtract the box office from the amount of money Warner Bros. stuffed into that turkey, they’re left with a loss of $75 million. To put that into perspective, $75 million is almost nine Manchester by the Seas. “I may have jacked off to Small Wondah, but at least my crappy Dollah Store Dick Tracy movie didn’t lose $75 million, ya beefy fuck” shouted Casey Affleck.
This is Ben’s latest in a string of movies that had Hollywood awkwardly tugging at their collar. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice made money, but it was critically panned. The Accountant made ok money, but didn’t exactly have people running into the streets screaming “You’ve got to see The Accountant!!” The next movie he’s got coming up is Justice League.
I kind of hope this is the beginning of Ben’s return to his box office bomb days. That’s my personal favorite Ben; the JLo-ass-rubbing, gold chains and white t-shirts-wearing star of fun-to-watch garbage like Gigli. Ben’s rich, so he can totally afford to slum it in bad movies for a while. Now is the time to make Gigli 2 happen, Ben.