Category: Denise Richards
Charlie Sheen Celebrated Father’s Day By Hissing At Denise Richards On Twitter
Because daddy gets to do whatever daddy wants on Father’s Day, Father of the Year Deadbeat Daddy of the Decade Charlie Sheen spent his Father’s Day being an asshole on Twitter. Uh, Happy Father’s Day?
Rather than waking up to a whole bunch of home-made paper ties and enjoying breakfast in bed, Charlie woke up from the pile of cigarette ash and stanky porn star thongs he slept in the night before, hopped on Twitter, and hissed like a barely-coherent methed-up snake at the mother of two of his children, Denise Richards. Charlie’s Father’s Day message, which has since been deleted – because apparently there’s at least one small shred of shame left in his body – was written in his signature crackhead free verse. So, just a heads up to those of you who get a headache every time you read the shit Charlie Sheen writes.
Charlie Sheen Followed Through With His Threat To Evict Denise Richards By Selling The House And Telling Her To Get Out
During a moment of truly questionable judgement, I recently admitted to Michael K that due to my long-standing crush on Ricky “Wild Thing” Vaughn, a verrrrrry small shameful part of me would. As in would would. Yes, with human bedbug asshole Charlie Sheen, that’s correct (“acknowledge your demons“). Obviously, MK immediately booked me an appointment at that mind-erase clinic from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and told me not to come back till they removed the part of my brain that gets horny from revolting scab people.
But I’m not packing my bags for the lobotomy lab just yet, because hearing about Charlie Sheen pulling the assholiest of asshole moves by evicting Denise Richards and her girls from their home has cured me of EVAH considering rubbing my parts on that piece of human garbage. According to Radar, after months of threatening to evict Denise and her three girls from the home he owns in a fancy gated community, he defined the term “dick move” by selling the home to a friend and leaving some boxes to the left to the left for Denise. No word on whether the “friend” was his trash rat porn star fiancé Brett Rossi, who was pressuring him to sell, or an actual rat who lives in trash who was looking to upgrade his housing situation.
I knew that Charlie Sheen’s brain had rotted into a charred clump of gas station meth long ago, but making your ex-wife and your two daughters homeless is some dark-sided shit. I feel like this mess should be settled in the courtroom of Judge Judith Sheindlin…’s dollar store equivalent Bianca Del Rio (Judge Judy has better things to do than deal with Martin Sheen’s asshole son). Then again, do we even need a trial? Isn’t there some law on the books that says if you’ve spent more than 18 months putting up with Charlie Sheen’s bullshit, you’re automatically entitled to a home and a checking account full of cash and a shot at Sainthood?
Pic: Splash
Denise Richards Celebrates Easter By Doing Herself Up Like A Carrot
While looking like a malnourished and derpy bumblebee that flew into a cup of Tang, Denise Richards left a Rite Aid in Calabasas, CA yesterday with Easter shit and a whole lot of bags of circus peanuts which she’s going to melt down and slather onto her skin so she stays the exact shade of Sean Penn’s leathery orange ass lips. Yes, Denise looks like Tan Mom’s overcooked clit and she’s skinnier than the vein on a fly’s dick, but I guess you too wouldn’t really want to put food in your mouth and would lose your appetite if you had Charlie Sheen’s split-open herp sore of a face screaming at you on a daily basis.
Charlie Sheen is threatening to stop Denise’s child support and he’s trying to kick her and his girls out of the house he owns, because his skank trash fiancee is jealous of her. So one of the dangers of dealing with Charlie’s crazy is that it’ll leave you looking like a roasted baby carrot.
Pics: Splash
Charlie Sheen Is Trying To Put Denise Richards And His Girls On The Curb Again
Trade those fancy shopping bags for sticks with handkerchief bags tied to the end of them and that might be Denise Richards and her daughter if that ass stain Charlie Sheen gets his way.
Earlier this year, Radar said that Charlie Sheen’s current full-time whore and future ex-wife Brett Rossi is jealous of Denise Richards and wants him to kick Denise and his girls out of the house he owns so she can drive by and let out a cold cunt cackle as they’re all dragging their belongings out of there. Denise has lived a few houses away from Charlie’s house of porn poon and crack for years and she hasn’t moved because she doesn’t want to pull her daughters out of their school. Radar says that Charlie has gotten the lawyers involved and sent Denise an eviction letter. Charlie’s rotting ground vulture meat of a heart wants Denise and his girls out and doesn’t care if they have to sell dirt pies on the side of the road to pay rent on their next house. Radar’s source burped this up:
“Charlie’s lawyers have advised Denise it’s time to move out of the Mulholland Estates mansion. He has claimed to have a buyer for the home lined up. Charlie wants Denise and the girls out — right away. Put simply, he doesn’t seem to care where Denise moves to. Brett convinced Charlie to sell the mansion, arguing that Denise has cut off access to their daughters, why should he allow her to live in the house for free? “Charlie hasn’t spent any significant time with the girls in several months and thinks it’s ridiculous that he continue to pay Denise $55,000.”
You know that special place Hell they always talk about? They just renamed it the Charlie Sheen Suite.
How many times does that ripped-off taint sore need to threaten to throw Denise’s ass out before she uses some of that mountain of cash he gave her in a divorce settlement to buy her own damn mansion? If she doesn’t have the cash, she can easily get it. All she has to do is throw a fake stache on her younger kid’s face. Then put that younger kid on the shoulders of the older kid and throw a trench coat over them. Send them over to Charlie Sheen’s house with a wheelbarrow full of white landscape rocks from Home Depot. The young one will introduce “himself” as Charlie’s new crack dealer and make Charlie sign a purchase slip before getting his regular daily order. Charlie will be so cracked out into another dimension that he won’t know that he’s really signing over the deed to the house that Denise Richards lives in to her! The house will be hers! Blehehehehe, it’s a crackhead-proof plan.
Charlie Sheen’s Porn Star Piece Wants To Put Denise Richards On The Curb
According to Radar, Charlie Sheen ordered his people to kick Denise Richards, her dad Irv and his three daughters out of the house that they live in and he owns, because the porn star whose asshole he’s snorting coke bumps out of wants her out. Charlie owns a few houses in Mulholland Estates including the one Denise lives in. Charlie’s current porn star piece Brett Rossi is jealous of Denise and she turns green every time she drives by Denise’s house. Yes, she probably turns green, because that’s a side effect of slurping on the toxic sludge that spills out of Charlie’s dick, but jealousy probably has something to do with it too. So Brett snapped her pussy lips and told Charlie to get rid of the bitch.
Charlie didn’t tell Denise himself, because their love-hate relationship is currently set to HATE. Charlie hasn’t talked to Denise since she ruined Christmas for him. The source spit out this shit:
“She complains that whenever she leaves the gated community, she is forced to drive by Denise’s house, and she just doesn’t like it. Charlie’s people told Denise he wants her out, and he didn’t tell her because they aren’t talking at the moment.”
The crackhead Maya Angelou seemed to respond to Radar’s story this morning by tweeting out a messy haiku (emphasis on HAI) about how he owns the farm and Denise Richards is merely a pig in his pen who kicks up shit with her “evil cloven hoofs.” Brett Rossi spat up her own open letter on Twitter, which is obviously about this messy situation. Here’s a piece of that shit:
Lastly, if YOU would like to meet up with MG and discuss how I can help the children have a happy & loving relationship with BOTH sides, I am more than willing to do so. I am only here to enhance things such as the note that was so delicately, respectfully & beautifully written to you. I don’t care about the ‘adult’ side of things, that is on you such as I have never cared to invest energy into things that are a waste of energy. Think about the babies & not ones own frustration or disagreements. It should always be about THEM. You protest privacy yet running to the press doesn’t make you exactly a saint. If you want something from someone, I was raised to display the respect before it is earned. I ask, respectfully, to please keep my name out of your mouth such as I respectfully have ALWAYS done for you without any hesitation.
Well, Brett can’t put Denise’s name in her mouth, because Charlie’s wet cheese stick dick is always in there.
What I don’t understand is, didn’t Denise get a mountain of cash in her divorce from Charlie? So why is she living in one of his houses? Why would you live in a house that Charlie owns? At any second, that crackhead could burst in and tell you to get the fuck out, because he lost the house in a gambling bet or gave it to the head of a sex trafficking ring in exchange for two barely legal girls from Eastern Europe.
I was going to say “poor kids,” but those girls have probably heard it, seen it and smelled it all and they’re used to Denise telling them, “We have to go now, because daddy’s whore wants us out.”
Charlie Sheen Tweets His Hate For That Duck Dynasty Douche And Denise Richards
While the childhood of Charlie Sheens’ twins continues to be eaten by crack smoke as they act out by choking innocent dogs and little children, their father was focused on much more important matters: tweeting about Phil Robertson and Denise Richards. On Saturday, the warlock of crack chewed off Phil Robertson’s hillbilly beard with his gums, wiped his dirty ass with it and glued it back on Phil Robertson’s face. Charlie Sheen straight-up took a crack-laced shit in Phil Robertson’s jug of moonshine for spewing all that trash about man anuses. Charlie slapped at Phil the only way he knows how: with an eloquent open poem. Charlie’s open poem to Phil Robertson is long and you might have to swallow a cloud of crack smoke to fully understand it, but it is filled with a few coke-dusted gems. It’s after the cut. “Shower dodger” should totally be added to Kristen Stewart’s business card. Continue reading