Hot Slut Of The Day!
The construction paper tie!
If you’ve got a kid in elementary school, then today you might’ve gotten a construction paper tie that they made for your ass in school. We all had to make those Father’s Day construction paper ties and most of them looked a ridiculous mess. Mine NOT included. My parents divorced when I was a kid and when my dad went to live with my one-legged stepmom (he was Paul McCartney without the British accent, millions and musical talent), we barely saw him. So most of the Father’s Day gifts we made in school, I made for my mom. In the second grade, we made shirt and tie cards for Father’s Day. My mom’s favorite color at that time was rose, so the construction paper tie I made her was pink with silver glitter glued on top of it. Hot, right?
Well, one of my gap-toothed bitch ass classmates took one look at my glitter-covered pink tie and said, “Ew, your dad likes pink!?” All judgmental and shit. I didn’t want that mess of a child to know my life and I didn’t feel like telling him that my parents weren’t together anymore, so I just said, “Um, yeah,” and kept it moving. But what really got me at the time was that his shirt and tie Father’s Day card was yellow and orange and yet he was coming for me for making a fashion forward glitter and pink tie. How dare that little shit-nosed brat judge my pink tie when he made his dad some candy corn shit. It’s Father’s Day, not Halloween, bitch.
Happy Father’s Day, everyone! Hopefully, a candy corn-colored tie and shirt Father’s Day card did NOT land on your lap today.
Pic: The Chirping Moms