Charlie Sheen Followed Through With His Threat To Evict Denise Richards By Selling The House And Telling Her To Get Out

May 28, 2014 / Posted by:

During a moment of truly questionable judgement, I recently admitted to Michael K that due to my long-standing crush on Ricky “Wild Thing” Vaughn, a verrrrrry small shameful part of me would. As in would would. Yes, with human bedbug asshole Charlie Sheen, that’s correct (“acknowledge your demons“). Obviously, MK immediately booked me an appointment at that mind-erase clinic from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and told me not to come back till they removed the part of my brain that gets horny from revolting scab people.

But I’m not packing my bags for the lobotomy lab just yet, because hearing about Charlie Sheen pulling the assholiest of asshole moves by evicting Denise Richards and her girls from their home has cured me of EVAH considering rubbing my parts on that piece of human garbage. According to Radar, after months of threatening to evict Denise and her three girls from the home he owns in a fancy gated community, he defined the term “dick move” by selling the home to a friend and leaving some boxes to the left to the left for Denise. No word on whether the “friend” was his trash rat porn star fiancĂ© Brett Rossi, who was pressuring him to sell, or an actual rat who lives in trash who was looking to upgrade his housing situation.

I knew that Charlie Sheen’s brain had rotted into a charred clump of gas station meth long ago, but making your ex-wife and your two daughters homeless is some dark-sided shit. I feel like this mess should be settled in the courtroom of Judge Judith Sheindlin…’s dollar store equivalent Bianca Del Rio (Judge Judy has better things to do than deal with Martin Sheen’s asshole son). Then again, do we even need a trial? Isn’t there some law on the books that says if you’ve spent more than 18 months putting up with Charlie Sheen’s bullshit, you’re automatically entitled to a home and a checking account full of cash and a shot at Sainthood?

Pic: Splash

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