Madonna Called COVID-19 “The Great Equalizer” While Soaking In A Marble Tub

(Like a) prayers up for Madonna, she is going through it. This coronavirus situation is worse for her than it is for most people. For example, while I feel like I’m going insane and my every waking hour is filled with existential dread, I fear that Madonna may have actually watched her very last marble slip down the drain of her luxury bathtub (fittingly, made of marble). In a recent Instagram post captioned “No-Discrimination- Covid-19!!”, Madonna expressed the dubious theory that the coronavirus is “the great equalizer” because it doesn’t care how rich or famous you are. She did this from her bathtub, dripping with jewelry and surrounded by rose petals. Madonna says “it’s made us all equal in many ways,” which, if true, means as soon as she dries off, she’s planning on converting her in-home spa into an ad-hoc hospital suite, and opening it to the public. Oh wait, what’s that Madonna? Not what you meant? Well then what the fuck are you talking about?

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Open Post: Hosted By A Little S&M Goth On The Prairie

Kristen Stewart is smiling, and she’s probably smiling because she knows that the pile of WTF on her body is making you want to barf through your eyes, and your pain pleases her. It powers her dark orb of a heart. Meanwhile, as Kunty Karl laid sprawled out on a bed of his naked man slaves after sucking the blood out of them, he cackled into the air over the fact that Kristen Stewart actually wore that horrifying toilet baby of a Medieval Times and the wedding dress of a 70s cult bride. Kunty Karl was just joking when he told her to wear it! In case you mistook that logo below her crotch for the Airbnb logo, it’s actually the Chanel logo. So that monster came from the evil mind of Kunty Karl.

Last night was the NYC premiere of Woody Allen’s Cafe Society, and KStew showed up looking like an Emo toddler playing around in her mom’s dress, and yes, her mom is an Amish dominatrix. It’s as if Kunty Karl got his minions to sew together a dusty Gunne Sax dress from the Salvation Army and pieces from a really cheap Game of Thrones costume.

Putting Kristen Stewart in this dress has to be one of Kunty Karl’s greatest works of evil, and that’s saying a lot. I love him for it!

Here’s more of KStew looking like Fifty Shades of the Sherwood Forest as well pictures of Blake NotSoLively looking like 1960s Pregnant Barbie and Parker Posey showing them all up by giving us 1980s soap opera villainess.

Pics: Wenn.com