Category: Coachella
Coachella Could Get Canceled Over Coronavirus (UPDATE)
Coachella, the famed Indio, California festival of social media influencers and cultural appropriation music, is in trouble. The festival lasts two weekends starting April 10 and since that darned coronavirus is out here infecting people, there may be a chance it brings down Coachella. It already took out No Time To Die, and it seems music executives and political people are now mulling over the cost/benefit analysis of cancelling a concert festival last minute to avoid people dying from infectious disease. Although, you know those Coochella hipsters are gluing flowers to masks as we speak.
As Expected, Rage Against The Machine, Frank Ocean, And Travis Scott Will Headline Coachella This Year
It’s that time of year again. Time for hipsters with lots of disposable income and the influencers who tell them what to buy to fly and drive out to the desert of Southern California where they can listen to bands they’ve mostly never heard of while taking pictures in front of that got-damn Ferris wheel. Yes, the Coachella lineup has been announced. So provided there is no World War III draft to interrupt it, Coachella is coming!
There Were A TON Of Herpes Reports During Coachella’s Two Weekends
Coachella may seem like a good time to the pretentious crowd: a bunch of wildly popular and some hip, completely-unknown musical acts, festival pictures, day drinking, getting fucked up, fancy celebrity-studded pool parties–but some of us know better. Unless you’re a VIP or standing in one place for hours so you get a good spot, chances are you won’t see or hear very much of your favorite acts. Those pictures all look the same. Day drinking is fun until it isn’t–it’s a fine line. And the pool parties? Listen, there is nothing for you at those pool parties except for annoying mess and apparently HERPES. Yup, herpes is in full attendance at Coachella, at least it was this year, as The New York Post reports that Coachella this year coincided with a herpes outbreak of sorts, which makes sense since I mean, John Mayer and Paris Hilton were there.
Kanye West May Take His “Sunday Service” All The Way
Kanye West brought his “Sunday Service” to Coachella on Easter Sunday after a tumultuous start. Kanye had originally pulled out of the festival because he wanted a huge-ass dome and Coachella was like: “Okay… but people need to pee somewhere? So we need space for that?” But Kanye didn’t care! He wanted the dome and he didn’t get it so he was out of there.
But then something came over him (ego and massive need for attention, obviously) and Kanye chose to return to Coachella, this time with a full religious experience and not just a show. Apparently the Kult of Kanye was a huge success. So much so that Kanye is thinking of doing more of them. Call poison control, because y’all done drunk the Kool-Aid (that Jonestown pun was not totally on purpose).
Justin Bieber Lashed Out On Twitter After He Was Made Fun Of For Lip Syncing
You’ve got to have a pretty thick skin if you’re going to make it in the entertainment industry. I didn’t sit through 87 cycles of America’s Next Top Model to not learn that lesson. Too bad Justin Bieber never had a Tyra Banks in his life to belittle him until he cried, only to build him back up into a pop megastar who can take a normal amount of criticism without alluding to suicide. Sadly, we know Justin wouldn’t have made it very far on ANTM and probably would have asked to be sent home after crying his eyes out during the makeover episode. You see, a mean lady on the internet (it wasn’t me this time, I swear!) accused Justin of lip syncing during his recent Coachella appearance with Ariana Grande. And even though he totally did lip sync, it wasn’t very nice.
Justin Bieber Made An Appearance During Ariana Grande’s Closing Coachella Set
Looks like Justin Bieber is feeling better because he’s been popping up all over the place. Justin recently let the world know he was going through it and needed us to pray for him to get over some depression he was dealing with. Well, PRAYERS WORK, because Justin shook off that dark cloud of sadness and took it to the stage by joining Ariana Grande at the last show of her Coachella set.