Panty Creamers Of The Day: Joe ManJello And Other Hot Pieces In W Magazine

It’s Monday so you probably woke up this morning with the hungover demons possessing your body, your breath smelling like Sunday night sangria and your eyeballs covered in crusties. You probably considered just never getting out of bed ever, because is a regular paycheck really worth getting up in the morning on a Monday? But you pulled yourself out, injected caffeine into your eyeballs, put on some clean panties and made it through the day by playing that Flappy Bird shit in your cubicle. We all made it through the day without murdering anyone (I think) or checking into the hospital because our bodies turned into a giant raisin from crying at the bottom of a hot shower for a few hours straight. Let’s all celebrate with this picture from W Magazine of Joe Manganiello with morning wood eyes. Or maybe he’s saying, “How about an early morning salad tossing? You do me first” with his eyes.

Photographers Mert and Marcus shot a bunch of famous hos in bed for W Magazine and some of them will give your genitals the sweats (see: Joe ManJello, STAINS’ human brother Jonathan Rhys Meyers and David Gandy) and some will make your b-hole poot out a “meh” (see: Vanessa Hudgens and that busted wig on her head and Kanye’s cuddle boo Riccardo Tisci).

And to answer the question in your head, no, it’s not weird at all to have that top picture turned into a body pillow with holes in it. That’s actually totally natural and not-at-all-crazy or creepy. Just make sure you get it in stain-resistant fabric like I did.

Bitch Got Served: The Ciara Edition

Most performers get handed flowers, bras, panties and dildos while performing onstage, but poor Ciara got served with lawsuit documents while performing at L.A. Pride on Saturday night. Oh, C-Error finally gets on a stage and this is what happens.

TMZ says that Ciara was supposed to perform at The Factory in West Hollywood on Friday night, but she didn’t show up. Ciara’s people (yes, she has those) swear they canceled the gig a long time ago, because she had already promised to perform at L.A. Pride instead. The Factory kept promoting Ciara anyway and when she failed to appear at the club on Friday night, they filed a lawsuit against her ass. They knew where she was going to be on Saturday night and sent a process server to serve her while she was on stage. This is just two beautiful for words.

You have to give it to Ciara, because she grabbed the papers, skimmed through them, realized she was getting sued, threw the papers back and kept on performing. And judging by those stomach patting moves she was doing right before she was served, she was suffering from a severe case of gas. So she got served and kept performing while trying to hold in a fart. She is a true professional.

And can all celebrities get served this way from now on?

And In This Twatter Corner…

It’s Saturday and this hangover can’t lift anything heavy, so we might as well sit third row in the lukewarm Twatter battle between Arby’s employee of the week Ciara and Raggedy Rihanna which went down last night after the former pulled the latter’s tail and made that bitch BAAAAAAAH on Twitter.

It all started when Ciara was a guest on E!’s Fashion Police last night and said that Ryan Phillippe’s part-time ass licker wasn’t all that nice when they ran into each other at a party. Roll that beautiful shade footage:

That was a bitch move of RiRi. Ciara was serving canapes and pigs and a blanket during her side catering job and RiRi couldn’t even throw her a “thank you” after she clearing the platter? Rude. And RiRi kept the hair dye-stained rudeness going on Twitter when she scratched at Ciara:

My bad ci, did I 4get to tip u? #howrudeofme
about 14 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®

U gangsta huh? Haaa
about 14 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Good luck with bookin that stage u speak of
about 14 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®

And then Ciara tried to deliver a double slap to RiRi’s tenhead but missed:

Trust me Rhianna u dont want to see me on or off the stage
about 14 hours ago via web

pure comedy…
about 13 hours ago via web

RiRi quickly realized that she doesn’t want Ciara spitting in her food the next time she goes to Arby’s, so she blew her a totally sarcastic make-up kiss:

Ciara baby, I love u girl! U hurt my feelings real bad on TV! I’m heartbroken! That’s y I retaliated this way! So sorry! #letsmakeup about 14 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Just like singing ability, sarcasm is not a friend of Ciara’s and she took RiRi’s eye roll of an apology as genuine and accepted it.

Is Shanaynay writing RiRi’s Tweets for her, because that dirty tampon-headed ho is all sorts of entertaining on Twitter.

And really, Fake Katt Williams said it best TWICE:

But why Ciara trying to fight Rihanna tho? Men aint supposed to hit women.
about 13 hours ago via web

pstt @ciara say sum bout her forehead
about 14 hours ago via web

via MTO (I know, I know)