A Check Is A Check: Chris Kattan Dressed Up As His SNL Character “Mango” For The CFDAs

If you had told me back in February that getting arrested for slowly weaving his car around the 101 Freeway while high out of his mind on pills wasn’t going to be the most embarrassing thing Chris Kattan was going to do in 2014, I’d have never believed you. But cut to last night, when Christ Kattan shamefully pulled his hot pants and tiny sequinned beret from the back of his closet to attend the CFDA Awards dressed as his seductive stripper character from Saturday Night Live, Mango. No word on whether or not they played “Missing” when he arrived.

But Mango wasn’t there because they were just letting any old SNL character in (if that were the case, the CFDA’s would have been shut down by the health department for illegal levels of glamour after Sally O’Malley kick-stretch-kicked her way up the red carpet). He was invited to the CFDA’s because he’s the star of designer Alexander Wang latest fashion film.

This will be the second time he’s brought back a sketch comedy character; last year he made a short film starring MADtv’s Bon Qui Qui, which wasn’t the worst, so we’ll see what he does with Mango. But of all the SNL, Alexander Wang went with Mango? Really? Was Debbie Downer busy or something?

Here’s more of Chris Kattan clickety-clacking for that Alexander Wang paycheck dressed as Mango last night with his date (who I hope also doubled as his designated driver), as well as the rest of the hot-to-lukewarm fancy hoes in attendance. Beginning at the fuego end of the spectrum of hotness, we have Betsey Johnson, who was muy caliente with her insane American Horror Story witchy memaw look and her glued-on polyester hair. Next was Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, who brought fierce evil twin religious cult realness (which one’s evil? Why not both!). Then things start to cool off. Blake Lively came dressed as Barbie’s no-personality cousin who works in Vegas as a showgirl in an Ambien-sponsored revue. And Lupita Nyong’o, who usually brings the heat, looked like she came straight from the set of Star Wars 7.

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com

Live From New York, It’s Chris Kattan’s DUI

Chris Kattan NOOOOO! I thought his regretful mistakes couldn’t get any worse than marrying a woman named Sunshine, but apparently he’s capable of much worse. According to TMZ, at around 1am Sunday night, police in the San Fernando Valley saw Corky Romano slowly weaving his car around the 101 freeway before crossing into a coned-off area and rear ending a Dept. of Transportation vehicle. After blaming his loopy driving on prescription medications, he was made to perform a sobriety test (the video of which would be 100% less depressing if someone had set it to Haddaway) and after failing spectacularly, was arrested for DUI. I’d hate to sully the good name of the man who brought us such classic characters as Gay Hitler and Mr. Peepers, so I’d like to stress that its been confirmed that Chris Kattan was arrested for driving under the influence of sweet, sweet mind-numbing pills, and not the sweet nectar.

Normally, reading about a celebrity getting arrested for a DUI makes me pissed enough to scream ‘CALL A FUCKING CAB NEXT TIME, YOU DRUNK’ at my computer screen, but I’m giving Chris Kattan a pass because – FACT – Chris Kattan’s life post-SNL is a major bummer and the guy could use a break. Also, pills are hard; have you ever picked up a prescription from CVS, looked confusedly at the winky-eye warnings and thought “Damn, I hope there’s a Wikipedia page for this”? Just ask Liza Minnelli – it takes years to get good at pills. I know, I know, he shouldn’t get a pass for getting pill-high and driving through the valley just because his life sucks (if that were the case, Lindsay Lohan would have the cleanest record out there).

I can’t tell if this story will end with Chris Kattan going to rehab or doing a stint in prison (prison-prison, not the prison-like feeling that comes with spending 8-hours on set with Patricia Heaton) but one thing is for sure: he needs Will Ferrell back in his life. Steve Butabi, come get your brother Doug!