Category: Chris Colfer
Jonathan Groff Wrote A Glowing Tribute To Lea Michele For Variety
I guess the anatomy lessons Lea Michelle gave to Jonathan Groff back in their Spring Awakenings days must have included a skills lab on kissing ass because here he is years later teaching a master class on the subject. As we know, right now Lea’s the talk of the town with her turn as Fanny Bryce in Funny Girl, having taken over the role from Beanie Feldstein who was having difficulties getting butts in seats even once, let alone the multiple times a night Lea gets their asses clapping in standing ovation. As for her own ass, which got handed to her last year by scores of former coworkers who reported her shitty behavior with much glee, Jonathan’s buffed it to a glossy shine with his lips by penning a “tribute” for Variety in which he all but credits Lea for single-handedly saving Broadway, and by extension New York City itself. Which leads me to ask, what the hell did Jonathan see when he looked inside Lea’s pussy? Was it God?
The Cast Of “Glee” Paid Tribute To Naya Rivera
Yesterday, Ventura County Sheriff Bill Ayub confirmed the awful, heartbreaking news that the body that was recovered in Lake Piru after a 5-day search was that of 33-year-old Naya Rivera. Naya’s biggest on-screen credit was arguably the role of Santana in Glee. Much like Mercedes, Santana could have easily carried 100% of her songs without the help of any New Directions backup, but Glee was an ensemble show, which is why everyone usually came together to belt out their emotions through song. Many of Naya’s former cast members have channeled that same ensemble energy, by spilling their feelings online together about Naya’s passing. Yes, even Glee’s most hated former cast member, Lea Michele.
Chris Colfer Didn’t Get Fired From Glee
Chris Colfer, the baby dolphin with human legs and arms who has played Kurt on Glee since the beginning, tweeted this out today:
Some took that to mean that those Blind Items are made of truth and in the behind-the-scenes game of Hunger Games that the Glee cast is playing, Darren Criss got Chris Colfer killed off. But I took it to mean that Chris Colfer finally had a nervous breakdown after the costume department insisted that his character still dress like a 70s era gay on a Peter Allen-themed cruise (or like Monroe from Too Close For Comfort).
A quick minute after that tweet went up, Chris’ manager, agent, publicist, assistant, assistant’s second cousin, first grade teacher, substitute first grade teacher, the first dude he blew and the dolphin dentist who cleans his baby teeth all screamed the word “HACKED!” and claimed that Chris Colfer didn’t tweet that shit. Chris Colfer is not leaving Glee. It was a Third of July prank.
But really, who thought that Kurt got fired? They need Kurt for the final episode. They need every ho from that show even that blonde cheerleader they all hate. They need them all. Because in the last episode, Sue Sylvester is finally going to lose her mind and slaughter all of those annoying brats for slaughtering song after song after song after song. Then as those brats’ dead, bloody bodies lie in a mountain of carnage, Lea Michele will climb on top of those corpses she’s more talented than and sing a Barbra Streisand melody while a montage of Rachel’s greatest moments play. It’ll be the perfect metaphor and a perfect ending. So yeah, they need Kurt. They need his dead, bloody body!
And here’s Lea Michele in a totally natural and not-at-all set-up photo shoot with her hooker whore boyfriend in L.A. yesterday. These were all taken on the same day. That bitch really is a high school drama student to the core. Even her staged photo shoots have costume changes.
Pics: Getty