Category: Celebrity Apprentice
Gary Busey Is Facing Sexual Assault Charges For Allegedly Getting His Grope On A Horror Movie Conference
I’m quite elderly yet I still found myself wracking my brain trying to remember a time when Gary Busey was famous for anything other than frightening small children, older children, easily rattled teens, young adults, the middle-aged and most senior citizens whose eyesight remains keen with his Academy Award-winning smile (Best Advertisement from the Academy of Corrective Dental Surgery). But CNN reminds me that Gary once received an actual Academy Award nomination for playing Buddy Holly in 1978 before becoming a semi-professional realty TV star. I’m not sure if Gary still remembers how to fake his way through a pasodoble, but whatever Donald Trump taught him on Celebrity Apprentice seems to have stuck because Gary is facing “two counts of fourth-degree criminal sexual contact, one count of criminal attempt/criminal sexual contact and one count of harassment” for allegedly groping three women at the Monster Mania Convention in Cherry Hill, New Jersey over the weekend. I guess Gary just wasn’t a big enough star to get away with it.
Vivica A. Fox Says That Ivanka Trump Gave Her A Problematic Compliment On “The Celebrity Apprentice”
Probably one of the most memorable interactions from season 14 of The Celebrity Apprentice season was the boardroom (and post-boardroom) fight between Vivica A. Fox and Kenya Moore, which started with Kenya suggesting Vivica was moody due to menopause and ended with Vivica delivering lines like “A toxic trick” and “Baby, I’m an international star” as Kenya packed her things and left. That might be what immediately springs to mind when you or I think of Vivica’s time on The Celebrity Apprentice, but there’s another boardroom conversation that has stuck with her. And it’s courtesy of Ivanka Trump. According to Vivica, Ivanka held true to her awful family’s well-established tradition of saying the kind of problematic, backhanded shit that makes people go, “That’s not a compliment, asshole.”
President Trump Claims That Ahnold Got Fired From “Apprentice” Because Of Low Ratings
Those who thought that POTUS’ oddly restrained (for him) speech before Congress this week signaled a new era of keeping his priorities presidential and his behavior semi-rational were wrong. President Donald Trump kicked off his weekend by “u up?“-ing the beautiful creature that holds his tiny heart – the Twitter bird! This pesky “my administration might have a branch location in the Kremlin” scandal has him wrought! But not so wrought that he can’t focus on the real issues!
Arnold Schwarzenegger Says Future President Trump Might Appear On “The Celebrity Apprentice”
Well, of course he will. What better way to uphold the office of POTUS with dignity and respect than appear on season 15 of your own reality show? Former governor of California and secret family keeper Arnold Schwarzenegger is the new “you’re fired!” character on The Celebrity Apprentice.
People reports that, during a press conference to promote the new season, Arnold answered questions about the recent revelation that our President-elect Donald Trump will still be listed as “executive producer” of the show in the credits. This, of course, has everyone wondering if this is a conflict of interest like some of his other business ventures. Ahnuld (a reputed fellow “pussy-grabber” to Trump in his own right) thinks Trump might even appear as a “guest advisor.”
America’s Biggest Throbbing Hemorrhoid Is Quitting The Celebrity Apprentice To Explore Running For President
The NH Union Leader says that Donald Trump is done, for now, with firing reality tricks and has-beens on The Celebrity Apprentice, because he wants to think about throwing his pussy hairball hair into the presidential ring. When you hear the sound of the bloated naranja toad croaking about becoming President, you know it’s almost presidential race time. Because Donald Trump does this every. single. time.
During the finale of The Celebrity Apprentice last month, Donald Trump said that NBC picked up the show for another season, but he burped up a caca bubble of foreshadowing when he said that he hasn’t personally made any decisions about the show. A source tells the NH Union Leader that Trump isn’t going to renew his contract with NBC. Donald Trump has threatened to run for President a million times before (yes, it’s a threat), but a source says he’s serious this time and is putting together an “exploratory committee.” Jabba the Trump has already hired staff in New York, Iowa, South Carolina and New Hampshire. Trump farted up this statement today about running. As is the case with most of Trump’s statements, it is a mound of delusion wrapped in a thick layer of HAHA.
“I have a great love for our country, but it is a country that is in serious trouble. We have lost the respect of the entire world. Americans deserve better than what they get from their politicians – who are all talk and no action! I have built a great company, created thousands of jobs and built a tremendous net worth with some of the finest and most prestigious assets in the world – and very little debt! All Americans deserve the same opportunity. Our real unemployment rate is staggering while our manufacturing base is eroding on a daily basis. We must rebuild our infrastructure, control our borders, support local control of education, greatly strengthen our military, care for our veterans and put Americans back to work! We must stop other countries from totally taking advantage of our representatives who are being out-negotiated at every turn. I am the only one who can make America truly great again!”
Politico says that The Celebrity Apprentice will go on without Donald Trump. The producers plan to replace him with a long-haired incontinent guinea pig. Nobody will know the difference. (No offense to long-haired incontinent guinea pigs.)
Donald Trump doesn’t need an exploratory committee to tell him that running for president is the best idea. What America really needs is more laughs and entertainment and we’ll definitely get that if Trump runs. Since we’re on the subject of the 2016 presidential campaign, here’s my nominee at a fashion event in L.A. last week. She can run under the Ginger Party.
Keshia Knight Pulliam Got Shit From Donald Trump For Not Hitting Bill Cosby Up For Money On The Celebrity Apprentice
I hate myself for watching anything that the smegma-filled anal gland known as Donald Trump is a part of, but I cannot stay away from the Celebrity Apprentice, because when you mix together Botoxed crazies and desperate has-beens, you get a magical train wreck that you can’t keep your eyes off of. You probably didn’t read that sentence, because you’re too busy staring at that plastic object in the middle and wondering why a knock-off Barbie styling head sold at selected Dollar Trees is a contestant on the Celebrity Apprentice. Please, a knock-off Barbie styling head sold at selected Dollar Trees IS too famous for Celebrity Apprentice. That’s Kate Gosselin.
The first episode of the season aired last night and it was a mess that turned into an awkward cringe fest. Keshia Knight Pulliam was the first one fired by the roasted bag of toad shit and he mostly fired her for not calling Bill Cosby to ask for a donation for her charity. The challenge was for each team to raise as much cash as possible while selling pies they made themselves. The object of all of your wet dreams (and by “wet” I mean either vomit or panty cream) Geraldo Rivera was the project manager of the men’s team and Keshia led the women’s team. The season premiere was shot last March, before Bill Cosby’s alleged drug and raping ways were unswept from under the rug by Hannibal Buress. So Kenya Moore might not have known about the Bill Cosby stuff when she got on Keshia about calling him. Keshia brushed Kenya off and said that she was focusing on donors who were in NYC and was not going to call Bill Cosby.