Category: Ben Foster
Laura Prepon Is Knocked Up With Ben Foster’s Baby
That unsettling sound you hear is the sound of David Miscavige and the other head crazies of Scientology squealing with greedy happiness over the fact that they’ll soon have a new member who will have to pay thousands upon thousands of dollars to climb up that bridge. Laura Prepon’s unborn baby better find a way to leak stories about her pregnancy to the tabloids for a check, because kid’s gonna need coins for those OT courses.
In October, 36-year-old Laura Prepon let the world know that she’s engaged to Robin Wright’s 36-year-old ex-piece Ben Foster by flashing her engagement ring in an oh-so-subtle way at the premiere of The Girl on the Train. And now People has confirmed through a source (please let that source be Laura’s unborn baby since again, kids need that cheese) that living in her womb is both her and Beefy Ben’s first child. Laura and Ben were at an event at Sundance Film Festival last night and a witness says that she did something only pregnant women do. She finished all her food. GASP!!!
“Ben seemed really protective and kept very close to Laura the entire night. He was holding on to her arm as they walked in and kept by her side during the dinner. Neither of them got up much to mingle. They definitely enjoyed dinner. I noticed she finished her plate.”
Yup, that means she’s either been bitten by a wolf and is now a werewolf, or she’s got a growing human in her body.
Well, I hope that Laura and Ben’s baby gets her completely natural immaculate Sharpie brows. That will almost make up for the kid having to walk on their knees at every Scientology event that Tom Cruise is at since nobody is allowed to be taller than Prince Tommy Girl!
Pic: Wenn.com
Man Down, Code 10, The Scientologists Got Another One!
“Subtlety” got a new visual definition at last night’s NYC premiere of The Girl on the Train when Laura Prepon accidentally gave every camera there a full view of her engagement ring while casually and spontaneously draping her hand over her piece’s arm. That “Oh, holding my purse like this is really, really comfortable and natural for me and OH MY GOD why are you taking pictures of the engagement ring I’m wearing since I’m engaged, stop, stop asking me questions about my engagement ring” pose is so subtle. Because the purse she’s carrying is black, it looks like she’s putting her hands in an invisible manicure bowl and speaking of needing a manicure….
Laura Prepon Is Probably Getting On Robin Wright’s Leftovers
Almost one year after he and Robin Wright called it quits on their engagement for the second time, UsWeekly is saying that Ben Foster is now working his buff ginger game on Laura Prepon. Apparently Ben traded in one model-turned-actress from an award-winning Netflix show for another model-turned-actress from an award-winning Netflix show.
A source claims that Donna from That 70s Show and Ben Foster have been together since at least July 4th weekend. The source says Laura and Ben were seen at a bar in Cape May, New Jersey on July 1st and that Laura was “all over him.” The source adds they were “really close” and “laughing.” More recently, they were seen “making out” during a 2-hour dinner at a French bistro in New York City. If this pattern continues, I’m really excited for the possibility of a source claiming to have seen them dry humping at a BBQ joint in Texas followed by full-on fucking at a juice bar in L.A.
As for how Ben and Laura got together, UsWeekly doesn’t know. But they do have a mutual friend in common, and that’s Danny Masterson. Ben has been good friends with Danny since way back, and Laura worked with Danny on That 70’s Show. She also dated Danny’s brother Christopher Masterson for 7 years. Both Laura and the Masterson brothers are big time Scientologists, and typing “Ben Foster Scientology” into a search engine returns more than a couple results. So there is a chance there’s a romantic meet-cute story that begins with the words “One upon a time in the Celebrity Centre…”
I have very few feelings either way about two somewhat bland mid-30s actors hooking up. But I am giving a slow congratulatory clap for Laura’s down-lows today. Robin Wright has said in the past that she’s never “laughed more, read more, and come more” than with Ben Foster. Good for you, Donna! Get that enthusiastic ginger business.
Pics: Wenn.com
Robin Wright And Ben Foster Called Off Their Engagement For A Second Time
I see the Summer of the Split has decided to move on from married people to almost-married people. Watch out, casually fucking, you’re next.
UsWeekly says that Robin Wright and her younger ginger piece Ben Foster have decided to call it quits on the whole “being engaged” thing. Again. A source tells UsWeekly that their love hit the rim of the trash can about a month ago after 7 months of being engaged. Robin and Ben reportedly stopped returning their wedding planner’s phone calls the first time because she couldn’t deal with their work schedules and the 14-year age gap between them. And this time…well, it’s pretty much the same shit. A source claims that Robin and Ben “were still having the same issues” after they joined the two-timer engaged club back in January, which means Ben is still 14 years younger than Robin and they’re both busy. Goddamnit Ben, would it have killed you to quit your job and focus on learning how to rapidly age 14 years? It’s like you don’t even care about this second engagement!
It’s really too bad that Robin and Ben have quit each other again. Robin has said in the past that Ben’s dick does her insides better than any other, so today you should be pouring one out for Robin’s down-lows and praying that she soon finds comfort in another. Good dick at frequent intervals is a terrible thing to lose.
Pic: Splash
Robin Wright Wants You To Know That Ben Foster Is Doing Her Better Than Sean Penn Ever Did
In case you were wondering how things were going between Robin Wright and her younger ginger fuck piece turned on-again/off-again fiance Ben Foster, things are apparently very good. If I was a classy type, this would be where I would give a coy wink, but I’m not, so this is where I crudely jab you in the ribs and say “She’s eyeball deep in dick, if I ain’t being too subtle” before making the penis-into-hole motion with my fingers. During a recent interview with Vanity Fair, Robin admitted that Ben is doing her right in all aspects of her life, including the one that involves her yelling till the paint peels off the walls:
“I’ve never been happier in my life than I am today. Perhaps it’s not ladylike [to say], but I’ve never laughed more, read more, or come more than with Ben.”
I just pictured an out-of-breath Robin with a tally counter in her hand screaming “We hit zero again!” My only question (well, besides whether or not Ben teaches a night school class on his technique) is when the hell do they have time for all that coming and reading? If I could do both, I would, but I am a very busy person and I have to prioritize, which is why I gave up reading and no talk good no more.
She also went on to say that, unlike her ex-husband Sean Penn, she’s not interested in shitting on their marriage:
“I’m not in the business of talking about what ‘isn’t’. My eyes are set forward and I’ve never been happier. I have too much respect for Sean and our two extraordinary children to sell our past joys and woes for public consumption and fodder. I believe we were together not only to have our beautiful children but to learn how to love … for the next time around, the right way.”
That’s too bad, because I would love to hear her elaborate on why she’s coming more with Ben than she was with Sean Penn. I’m guessing it has something to do with the fact that you’ll always have 100% more orgasms when there’s a 0% chance of looking down at your pussy area and seeing Sean Penn’s corroded exhaust pipe face covered in cooch juice staring back at you.
Robin Wright And Ben Foster Are Trying The “Being Engaged” Thing Again
Ben Foster (seen above giving me douchebag bouncer at a sports bar in Kips Bay) and Robin Wright broke off their engagement to each other last November, because their 14 year age difference became a problem and she felt like he was just way too immature for her ass. That’s what a source told UsWeekly at the time anyway. Well, I guess in the quick minute they were broken up, Ben injected Lindsay Lohan’s blood into his body to speed up his age by 14 years and now he lifts up the seat when he pisses, which means he’s totally matured. Because these two are back together and are promised to be married again.
Ben Foster and Robin Wright (or as Sean Penn calls her, “WHO?”) let it be known that they were rubbing their sex parts together earlier this month when he went to the Golden Globes with her. A source tells UsWeekly that they’re back together, they’re planning to get married and they’re working on their issues, because she thinks he’s a keeper and I’m taking that to mean that the dick is so good it’s worth flying 5 hours for.
“They are fully back together and really happy. Ben is the nicest guy. She knows she has a keeper. There were a bunch of issues before, a lot because of distance and her schedule, but they are working on them. It is worth it to be with a guy like this who really cares about her so much.”
My shoulder joint is held together with duct tape and Old Brown Glue from reaching so much, but let me reach some more. Robin Wright is sort of like an older Charlize Theron to me. She’s a hot skinny blond who is made of ice, is a little scary and will slit your throat with her razor sharp bitch glare if say hi to her at SoulCycle. And Ben Foster is sort of like a younger Sean Penn. He looks like he has the sense of humor of an overworked IRS auditor and gives me “strict stepfather who is always in the garage working on mysterious ‘projects’” vibes. Robin and Sean definitely have a type. I don’t know if Robin and Ben look like they’re doing Charlize and Sean cosplay or if Charlize and Sean look like they’re doing Robin and Ben cosplay.
Here’s Robin and Ben at the Armani Prive show in Paris on Tuesday. Giorgio Armani looks delicious. He’s all silver and golden brown. He looks like a baked potato loosely wrapped in foil.
