The Crackie of Camden returned to the stage last night at Portugal’s Rock In Rio festival. In true Wino fashion, she showed up an hour later. Damn, she’s like all my family members. You tell them 2pm and those dumb skanks will show up at 4pm and not even apologize! They stroll in like they’re early. The nerve. At least Wino apologized to the 90,000 people waiting for her ass.

They booed her when she didn’t show up on time, but she tried to fix things by telling them, “Hey Lisbon. I’m sorry I’m late.” She then asked if anyone had a one-hitter. Ok, not really, but she thought about it I’m sure.

She played for 55 minutes and her voice cracked a couple of times in her set. She told the audience she was having throat issues. Welcome to my world, Wino. She sucked on lozenges the whole time and even ran off stage at one point, but she immediately returned. She didn’t play an encore, but most of the crowd was over her ass by then.

Some hot bitch compiled a video of some of Wino’s strangest moments last night. I still love her heroin shimmy. I picture the pulgas in her crack hive having a big ass party when she starts to shake. And yes, she’s fuckity fucked up. What’s new? Clip below:

Supermodel and super ass kicker, Naomi Campbell, was officially charged for allegedly beating and spitting at cops during an incident at Heathrow in April. Naomi was thrown off of a flight, because….well…because she’s a bitch. Cops were called and that’s when shit went down.

Naomi was charged with five offenses – three counts of assaulting a constable, one of disorderly conduct likely to cause harassment, alarm or distress and one of using threatening or abusive words or behaviour to cabin crew. Basically, she was charged for being a crazy ass bitch.

Her lawyer told reporters outside the police station, “Miss Campbell is bitterly disappointed that the prosecutors have advised her she is to be prosecuted for various offences. She respects that decision and she hopes this matter is dealt with expeditiously.” Translation: Naomi is going to kill prosecutors using her bare teeth only.

Naomi is due in court on June 20th.

Throw her in the chokey, but send a camera crew with her! Think of all the hot prison catfights starring Naomi. I’m sure at least one of those catfights will look something like this:

Source: AFP

Brandy’s little brother, Ray J, was kicked out of a Hyatt in DC on Saturday morning, because hotel security found weed and a club drug called “Boat” in his room. I had to google this boat shit, because I always like to try new and creative ways to speak to the heavens. Boat is apparently the street name for PCP. There’s also something called “Love Boat” which is a joint dipped in formaldehyde. Oh well. It sounded promising, but I can’t fuck with that chemical shit. You know Ray J got it from Whitney.

TMZ reports that security only came to Ray J’s room, because they got a complaint about the noise. He tried to bribe security, but they weren’t into it. He left the hotel and checked into a Holiday Inn down the street. The Super 8 probably wouldn’t take his ass.

Ray J’s rep told TMZ, “The altercation did not directly affect Ray J — it was people in his entourage. But he did the gentlemanly thing and left the hotel anyway.”

Tip #347 in the Z-lister’s handbook: Always blame the entourage!

Tori the Hutt has been confirmed as a guest star on “90210.” It was rumored that Tori would make a cameo as Donna Fartin’ in the pilot along with dumb bitch Kelly Taylor. Tori told People, “Donna loved designing and wanted a career in fashion. It’ll be fun to explore that storyline. And, I’m sure fans will be dying to know if she’s still married to David!” She’s not still married to David, because she accidentally ate him.

A rep for the show said Donna Martin owns “one of the coolest stores in Beverly Hills.” This show has already failed and it hasn’t even started shooting. What the hell was the name of Donna’s clothing store in the original show? That place was a dump! It looked like a Clothestime outlet. Donna should come back to the show as the new janitor of West Beverly. That would make more sense.

Tori went on to say, “When they say you can’t go home again, its not true. I’m headed back to the zip code I know best and couldn’t be happier!” It’s a shame the postal code she knows best isn’t H0H 0H0 (google it).

Director, producer and actor, Sydney Pollack, died Monday of cancer at his home in California. He was diagnosed with cancer 9 months ago. He was 73.

Sydney won an Oscar for Best Director for “Out of Africa.” He also directed “Tootsie,” “Sabrina,” “The Firm” and “They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?”

As an actor, Sydney starred in such films as, “Eyes Wide Shut,” “Michael Clayton,” and “Random Hearts.”

He died only hours after the HBO premiere of “Recount” which he executive produced.

R.I.P. Sydney Pollack

Source

Dick Martin, who co-created and co-starred in “Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-In,” died yesterday of respiratory complications in Santa Monica, CA. He was 86.

Dick’s rep said he was surrounded by his family and friends.

Laugh-In, which debuted in January 1968, was unlike any comedy-variety show before it.

Rather than relying on a series of tightly scripted song-and-dance segments, it offered up a steady, almost stream-of-consciousness run of non-sequitur jokes, political satire and madhouse antics from a cast of talented young actors and comedians that also included Lily Tomlin, Goldie Hawn, Ruth Buzzi, Arte Johnson, Henry Gibson, Jo Anne Worley and announcer Gary Owens.

Presiding over it all were Rowan and Martin, the veteran nightclub comics whose standup banter put their own distinct spin on the show.

Say Goodnight, Dick. Goodnight, Dick.

Source: Associated Press

Thanks Smoke