Wash out the image from your head of Dame Elizabeth Taylor rolling down the wedding aisle in a wheelchair decorated with paper swans and rhinestone garland, because she is not going to marry Jason Winters (the piece on left)after all. On Friday, UsWeekly said that Dame Liz recently got engaged to Jason. Dame Liz set the record straight on Twitter and wants you to know that Jason is only a friend.

# The rumors regarding my engagement simply aren’t true. Jason is my manager and dearest friend. I love him with all my heart.
about 5 hours ago via web

So when Dame Liz howled in woe at the thought of marrying again, she meant it!

Actually, don’t wash the image of Dame Liz rolling down the aisle just yet, because now that she’s not marrying Jason, she can devote all her time to planning her fake commitment ceremony to her true TRUE true love Kathy Ireland. In case you need proof of Dame Liz’s permanent hard-on for Kathy, here you go:

Kathy was delightful, gorgeous and fit the music they chose perfectly. If they ever do a remake of The King and I she should star in it.
10:48 PM Sep 28th, 2009 via web

This can be the cover of their invitation:

This needs to happen!

Bar Refaeli has Herps on the tongue now – Egotastic!

Keanu Reeves is looking sessy. Meaning he doesn’t look like he needs to be fumigated and tarped – Lainey Gossip

You better get caught up on all your shots, because Wonky McValtrex is on the prowl again – The Superficial

Finally, a REAL lady – Hollywood Tuna

I’ll be the one in the audience with an exploding head – Towleroad

Khloe Kardashian looking a little Kirstie Alley-ish while terrorizing the beach (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

Michelle Hunziker, still in a bikini, still don’t know who she is – Popoholic

Gerard Butler’s finger found another culo to poke – Celebitchy

Is that a nicotine patch on Kate Hudson’s chichi? – Popsugar

Topless DILFS: The Cam Gigandet edition – Just Jared

Tony Panici from Life of Ryan half-nekkid in a dirty ass motel room – OMG Blog

Did Carey Hart fuck on Bombsite McGee? – ICYDK

JLo’s joke of the day – I’m Not Obsessed

Millions of Famewhores newest inductee – Hollywood Rag

Adrianne Curry’s pussy comes out to play on Twitter – Cityrag

Nikki Sixx says no to the alien head – Crunk + Disorderly

Here we have acquitted lady killer Robert Blake scaring off pepaws (see the piece in the red) in some parking lot in Los Angeles the other day. The pepaw could be running away because of a variety of reasons, but methinks it has a lot to do with Robert’s denim faux chaps!

I’ve been to some homorrific clothing stores in my day, but I have never ever seen a pair of fake chaps (I think). Robert is already all kinds of wrong, but he belongs in jail for drawing attention to his private area in public. Warden, lock this bitch up for assaulting our eyes with a denim crotch!

Lin Yu Chun, the chubby Taiwanese boy who captured hearts with his version of “I Will Always Love You,” is back! And this time he’s brought his moves.

Not only does this glazed butterball with a bowl cut have the hypnotic voice of a sea siren beckoning sailors to her rock, but he also has the serious moves of a Glittery Gay of YouTube. This pretty much confirms that Lin Yu Chun should star in a remake of The Bodyguard. Queen of the Night, in-fucking-deed!

via Buzzfeed

You won’t find Conan O’Brien nuzzling against Rupert Murdoch’s titties anytime soon, because he’s taking his act to TBS instead of Fox. Starting this Fall, Conan will host a one-hour show at 11pm on TBS. Conan’s show will bump George Lopez to midnight. Hm. This shit seems familiar. Deja chin!

George Lopez had this to say about being bumped by the ginge: “I can’t think of anything better than doing my show with Conan as my lead-in. It’s the beginning of a new era in late-night comedy.“

Okay, I’m glad George is fine with this, because I really don’t want to get dozens of invitations to the “I’m With Lolo” Facebook group. Not ever.

Source: Variety