There are a few ways Hollywood people have been talking about the gender wage gap problem. Some people, like Jennifer Lawrence, choose to talk about it by writing an essay slapping at the powers that be for writing fewer zeros on her paycheck than on those of the male actors in American Hustle. Others, like Kate Winslet, choose to talk about it by refusing to talk about it, because that would be tacky, darling. We finally have Scarlett Johansson’s thoughts on the gender wage gap problem, and they are…that she doesn’t feel right talking about it, since it’s not exactly a problem for her.

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Or is that Walter Mercado? If that’s Walter Mercado in his big-screen debut, then let me find a credit card with some room on it, because I need to buy my ticket from Fandango now!

Millions of nerd Underoos are probably covered in dried yellow spots this week and it’s all because of two things. First, the nerds learned that one day soon, they may be able to meet their dream girlfriend (aka ScarJoSexBot) and second, the trailer for Disney’s latest Star Wars movie was jizzed onto the Internet early this morning. The trailer really should’ve been a shot of a Disney executive stroking millions of dollars out of C3Po’s dick, but they decided to show scenes from the actual movie instead.

Star Whores: The Rouge One (Side note: Star Whores: The Rouge One would be a perfect title for a Harald Gloockler biopic) doesn’t come out until December, but there’s a law in Hollywood that states that every big-budget blockbuster must release at least 4,567 trailers before it comes out. So Disney has to get busy.

The Internet tells me that Star Wars: Rogue One takes place sometime between Star Wars: Episode III and Star Wars: Episode IV. Sarah Michelle Gellar look-alike Felicity Jones is the lead of a cast that also includes Mexican hot piece Deigo Luna, Ben Mendelsohn (aka the train wreck brother from Bloodline), Forest Whitaker, Mads Mikkelsen, Genevieve O’Reilly and Alan Tudyk.

Apparently, the fierce and fabulous imperial bitch in the white cape is Ben Mendelsohn. There better be a scene where Ben shows us the secret to how he keeps his whites so blindingly white while walking on dirty water and fighting tricks.

Normally when someone wears a giant-ass diamond on that finger, it usually means one of two things:

1. They hit the gold-digger lottery by getting married to the kind of richie who can afford a giant-ass diamond

2. They demand a life of sparkly 15-carat glamour at all times, regardless of their relationship situation, and they had to slip it on their ring finger because they starting to run out of room on their other fingers

But sometimes people throw a huge engagement-looking ring on that finger because they just want some attention. And it sounds like we can go ahead and throw Nicki Minaj in that third category.

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Trump River Cruises advertises relaxing getaways for the guys and a healthy set of activities for the ladies in their lives. – Shane Yorston

Upvote winner:

The Wife Aquatic. – FluffKitteh

Pic: Acid Cow

American Idol legend RHONETTA!

Tonight, an era ends! American Idol will air its last episode before it disappears from our TV screens FOREVER….or until those evil overlords at Fox decide to reboot it in 4 months with an all-star judging panel featuring Iggy Azalea, Chad Kroeger and Aaron Carter. I used to watch American Idol as though I was an abuelita and it was my favorite novela. I regularly recapped it here and I even voted almost every week. But when the pilled-up heart of the show Paula Abdul packed up the medicine cabinet full of Vicodin in her dressing room and stumbled out the exit door, I followed her.

Yes, American Idol is partly responsible for Ryan Seacrest’s transformation from an L.A. radio show host into an all-powerful, frosty-tipped goblin whose diabolical heart, and bank accounts, rejuvenate from unleashing evil onto the world, but it also gifted us with many, many treasures. American Idol gave us the triumphant return of Paula Abdul, Simon Cowell’s lusciously angry tits, the Pants on the Ground guy, Sanjaya,  those weird Ford commercials, the Claymates, the fucked-up Idol parody WB Superstar USA and RHONETTA!

The Empress of Confidence became, for me, the breakout star of season 5, and when the judges made the wrong decision of not sending her to Hollywood, she declared that she’d be bigger than the winner. She was right. Taylor Hicks won that season and nobody remembers that outlet store version of George Clooney, but everybody (read: me and only me) remembers Rhonetta! Rhonetta was also right when she said that she’d be bigger than JLo. According to Rhonetta’s Twitter bio, she’s touring everywhere while JLo is a judge on the very show that she was the star of in its prime!

William Hung is supposed to be on tonight’s final episode and that’s just wrong. It should be Rhonetta. The only way American Idol should end is with Rhonetta and Paula Abdul kissing and making up. They should also sing a medley of Paula’s greatest hits before sharing a cup of bubbly water as they stroll into the sunset that’s shaped like Rhonetta’s exquisitely-crafted matte Sharpie eyebrows.

Pic: @RhonettaJohnson

Jackie Chan (62)
David “Punk” Otunga (36)
Kevin Alejandro (40)
Tiki Barber (41)
Jennifer Schwalbach Smith (45)
Bill Bellamy (51)
Russell Crowe (52)
Janis Ian (65)
John Oates (68)
Carol Douglas (68)
Francis Ford Coppola (77)

Pic: Google Plus