Shortly after Marc Anthony got semi-romantic with JLo on stage at the Latin Grammys last month, people couldn’t help but notice that his latest wife, Shannon De Lima, was strangely missing from the audience. The reason she wasn’t there was because Marc and Shannon had separated. They have now decided to change their situation from “taking a break” to “adding another name to Marc Anthony’s list of ex-wives.”

48-year-old Marc and 28-year-old Shannon released a statement today confirming that they’re divorcing:

“After much consideration, we have mutually and amicably decided to end our two year marriage. We ask for privacy during this difficult process, and no further comments will be made from either one of us about this personal matter.”

Skeletor didn’t have any kids with Shannon, so the only thing they’ll get to argue over in divorce court will be money and whatever she wants from Snake Mountain. No word on exactly what killed Shannon and Marc’s marriage, but a source tells People it probably had something to do with Marc always working.

“Marc is so busy with his career, touring and recording that he distances himself from his relationships without even knowing it. Even with his wife in tow, she can feel like he is on another planet. Marc likes to have a woman at home but he also likes to live like a bachelor. This doesn’t work for very long.”

I wonder what living like a bachelor means to Marc. Marc is rich, so something tells me his bachelor behavior is just a little different from the average bachelor. He’s probably still eating cereal on the couch in his underwear, except Marc’s balls are hanging out of 100% organic cashmere and his Fruity Pebbles are being eaten out of a hand-cut diamond.

Pic: Wenn.com

This ICONIC (in my head, but it really is) Andre Champagne commercial starring Zsa Zsa Gabor!

Everyone who looked in the mirror this morning probably saw ten loads of dull and homely looking back at them and that’s because glamour and beauty doesn’t exist anymore now that Zsa Zsa Gabor is gone. (Although, Joan Collins is still here, and I better shut the fuck up before 2016 gets any ideas.)  But while Zsa Zsa may be gone, the glamour she left us will live on forever on the internet (or until Donald Trump shuts down most of the internet and only allows the site DonaldTrumpIsTheGreatest.yuge to exist).

During the start of the greatest decade that ever was, the 1980s, elegance joined forces with elegance when Zsa Zsa Gabor did a commercial for Andre (via Retro Junk). Zsa Zsa only drank the sparkling tears of her ex-husbands and brands of champagne us peasants can’t pronounce, but in the 1980s she was charitable enough to make the poors feel as opulent as her by starring in an Andre commercial. If Zsa Zsa peed, her piss would cost more than Andre, so this gorgeous commercial was truly an act of charity, she also wore those fabric tire sleeves like no other!

Let’s all raise a glass of Andre (I know you keep a bottle in the veggie drawer of your refrigerator) and toast to Zsa Zsa!

Jake Gyllenhaal (36)
Jenelle Evans (25)
Paulina Gretzky (28)
Lady Sovereign (31)
Marla Sokoloff (36)
Rosa Blasi (44)
Alyssa Milano (44)
Amy Locane (45)
Tyson Beckford (46)
Kristy Swanson (47)
Criss Angel (49)
Jennifer Beals (53)
Til Schweiger (53)
Jill Talley (54)
Mike Lookinland (56)
Limahl (58)
Tim Reid (72)

Pic: Tumblr

Every chandelier has automatically lowered itself half-mast today and every crystal flute of champagne that gets poured will be flat and bubble-less, because human diamond Zsa Zsa Gabor has been chauffeured off to the afterworld in a bright white Rolls Royce and has reunited with her sisters Eva and Magda. The legendary goddess of glamour and opulence Zsa Zsa Gabor (born name: Sári Gábor) died today at the age of 99.

During the past few years, Zsa Zsa has been through it. She was left paralyzed by a car accident in 2002 and three years later she suffered a stroke. Zsa Zsa then broke her hip and after a major bitch of a blood clot was found in her leg, doctors had to amputate it. Since then, Zsa Zsa has been laid up in her mansion with her last husband Frederic Prinz Von Anhalt. Because Zsa Zsa has gone through so much and kept on, kept on, I thought she was going to live as long as an actual diamond (read: forever). But leave it to 2016 to wait until almost the very last minute to deplete the world’s supply of glamour by at least a thousand percent.

TMZ says that Zsa Zsa had a heart attack in her home and was taken to the hospital where she was pronounced dead.

Zsa Zsa’s journey to dazzling the world with glamour and beauty started when she won Miss Hungary in 1936. Zsa Zsa followed her younger sister Eva Gabor to Hollywood and eventually got her big break when John Huston cast her in Moulin Rouge. Zsa Zsa went on to star in many, many movies and television shows. Zsa Zsa wasn’t really known as an actress. She was mostly known for her glamour, gorgeousness and her ability to make diamonds look more luxurious. Many obits I’ve read so far have called her the “original Kim Kardashian,” and I hope the ghost of Zsa Zsa is putting her legendary slapping hand to good use by slapping all those bitches who wrote that, because how dare they compare her to that!

Zsa Zsa was married nine times, including to Conrad Hilton.

And I can end with a million Zsa Zsa clips (seriously, I’ll be living on YouTube for the next few hours), but let’s end with one of Zsa Zsa reading a jealous trick on The Phil Donahue Show.

Rest in peace, Zsa Zsa. You are no longer suffering and can now get to work on finding husband number ten in heaven. (I’m sure a hundred angels proposed marriage to her ten seconds after she sashayed through the gates.) Thank you for your glamour, beauty and wisdom, dahling!

Pic: Getty

It’s been sort of dark day here on Dlisted. It complies of that completely awful story out of Russia, then Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna are still messy and annoying, and then anything involving Donald Trump. This should serve as a welcome escape from all of that darkness.

Maclin the basset hound and Marley the mutt are experiencing their first snowfall! Tastefully Offensive reports that their human Ben Nispel filmed their first time and put it on YouTube, and they’re “what the eff is happening with the sky?” OVER IT at first, but then they eventually experience the joy. Watching them frozen staring at the sky in wonderment made me appreciate the beauty in the world for a quick second. I’m going to make it last by not reading any news today.

Check out Maclin and Marley experiencing their first snow below!

Yesterday a video of what looked like a cell phone exploding in CeeLo Green’s face was making the rounds. Was it real? Did he die? Has he been educated on what consent means? We have the answers! No, it wasn’t real. Yes, CeeLo Green is alive. Unfortunately, that last question still wasn’t answered and I would still keep an eye on your drink when you’re around him, ladies.

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