Kanye West Congratulated Kim Kardashian On Becoming A Billionaire Even Though She Isn’t One

There’s nobody I trust more than TMZ to make the fine calculations required to certify someone’s billionaire status, not even those math geniuses over at Forbes. So when TMZ reports that Kim Kardashian’s company, KKW Beauty, has officially hit the $1 billion mark, it’s time to take notice. Those suckers at Coty beauty, the same ones who bought a controlling interest in Kylie’s Jenner’s company without reading the fine print (according to Forbes), have just bought a 20% stake in KKW for $200 million. Seemingly unable to see or hear the guillotines being erected across the country, Kanye West #tooktotwitter to congratulate Kim on becoming a billionaire, which isn’t even what happened. Her company has been valued at $1 billion, not Kim personally. Not even TMZ got it that wrong.

According to TMZ:

Kim Kardashian’s brand was just launched into another stratosphere of riches — hitting the billion-dollar mark … courtesy of a new deal with a very familiar beauty investor.

Here’s the scoop … Kim’s beauty business — with a range of products from makeup to fragrances — just received a massive influx of cash from cosmetic conglomerate Coty Inc., which forked out $200 million for a 20% stake in KKW’s biz.

Do the math and it all adds up — Coty valued Kim’s co. at $1 BILLION.

I don’t know TMZ, I’m going to have to see the greasy pizza napkins you did the math on before I go out of my way to congratulate Kim on finally getting a key to the executive bathroom. No more getting pissed on for Kim, it’s all golden bidets and worsted linen hand towels from here on out (she wipes her boom-boom with live chinchillas). Still, Forbes agrees that KKW is now valued at $1B, and that Kim’s personal net worth is now approximately $900 million. And since there’s no number Kanye won’t round up, he tweeted this.

https://twitter.com/kanyewest/status/1277766033844121601

If I’m understanding Kanye correctly, God threw a tomatillo and a couple of tomatoes at Kim and she turned them into a billion dollars. That is wild, man. Kanye himself has some big news as well. He’s got a new single and video out for a song called Wash Us in the Blood with Travis Scott. I think it’s one of the things he ALL CAPS MENTIONED in his Instagram post when his Gap collaboration was announced. According to Vulture:

The song — allegedly off “forthcoming album” God’s Country, but we’ll believe it when we see it — goes harder than most of the music off last year’s Jesus Is King, with West chanting a refrain of “Holy spirit come down / Holy spirit help now.” It’s the closest that noted Trump supporter Kanye has gotten to a protest song in a bit. The video, directed by West-inspired artist Arthur Jafa, cuts together footage of police brutality, Breonna Taylor dancing, Parliament-Funkadelic-esque Afro-futurism, people wearing masks and struggling to breathe, and a gospel choir, among other things.

If there’s any phrase that summarizes Kanye’s jumbled mind, it’s Among Other Things. Here’s the video.

Well OK then. Good to know Kanye is finally thinking about something other than himself. With the way this cooky timeline’s been going, I wouldn’t have been surprised if George W. Bush came out on live TV and announced “Kanye West doesn’t care about Black people.”

Pic: Instagram