Forbes Officially Names Kanye West As A Billionaire, But He’s Still Not Totally Happy

April 25, 2020 / Posted by:

Despite being a proud MAGA supporter, and his 2018 comments that slavery seemed like “a choice” notwithstanding, Kanye West is, for some reason, still heralded as a genius, a revolutionary, and a deity (but that’s mostly when he’s talking to himself in the mirror). Well now, Taylor Swift’s forever arch-enemy has another adjective to throw up in front of his name: billionaire. Kanye, who claimed he was in debt four years ago, has now officially been ranked as a member of the Billionaire Boys Club––and he wants everybody to know it.

Shamelessness has never been an issue for Kanye. In addition to his money-making ventures, he’s also made an entirely secondary career out of troubling gaffes and embarrassing public tantrums. And, of course, he married into the Kardashian Koven, becoming a full-time pay-rolled member of Shamelessness, Incorporated. Well, surprisingly, joining the fame-whore Koven isn’t what pushed his bank account into B-word territory. Apparently, it was mostly those ugly rags he designs.

Forbes recently broke the alleged milestone news in an article that makes numerous references to Kanye’s childish inability to reckon with logic and common sense. In August 2019, Kanye was on the cover of Forbes and sat for an equally annoying interview. As the year wore on, he became increasingly angry with the angle of Forbes’ coverage, protesting publicly that Forbes would not refer to him as a billionaire, despite being SO close. Forbes even references the snub in their latest article:

“Without sufficient documentation on his unusual stake, versus just his word and industry guesstimates, we didn’t call him a billionaire. And that grated on him. As the year wore on, he protested publicly. (“I showed them a $890 million receipt, and they still didn’t say ‘billionaire,’” he told an industry panel, about something that no one at Forbes remembers.) In private, he was more biting. (A “disrespectful article,” he texted this week, that was “purposely snubbing me.”)

Isn’t it amazing that, in 2020, people still feel that they can get away with disrespecting Kanye West? The man who signed away any rights to respect back in, what, 2008? His inability to comprehend basic math alone ($890 million is not $1 billion) should have excluded him from future articles.

“When our annual billionaires list appeared earlier this month, again with West absent—still no documentation, and now a pandemic to boot—West again reacted with hurt and venom. “You know what you’re doing,” he texted. “You’re toying with me and I’m not finna lye [sic] down and take it anymore in Jesus name.” That sister-in-law Kylie Jenner did make the list also clearly stuck in his craw.”

I know that nowadays, we are all just supposed to humor overgrown man-children by heaping unwarranted praise upon them at all times, but somebody at Forbes did not get the memo. Like everybody else in his life, Forbes eventually got around to just telling him what he wanted to hear, but it still wasn’t good enough.

Kanye believes that his total net worth is over $3 billion, but when Forbes crunched the numbers, they got $1.3 billion. via CNN:

The magazine calculated the worth of the artist’s assets, including West’s Yeezy sneaker collaboration with Adidas, which Forbes estimated brought him royalties of over $140 million from sales last year, properties, assets and his G.O.O.D. record label, worth at least $90 million.
The final total of $1.3 billion, the magazine said, took into account debts,”asset illiquidity” and the magazine’s tendency to “look at self-appraisals somewhat skeptically.”
Forbes reported that West insists his worth stands at $3.3 billion, and he texted the magazine to say: “It’s $3.3 billion since no one at Forbes knows how to count.” But the figure of $1.3 billion still puts him on an exclusive list.

Since Kanye has turned his inflated sense of self-worth into an art form, $3.3 billion is $1.3 billion in Kanye math. And I’m sure that after weeks of Kanye spitting hundreds of rage-filled ALL-CAPS texts at the editors of Forbes, they’ll eventually throw up the cover: Kanye West IS The World’s First Trillionaire (And Kanye Can You Stop Texting Us Already).

Pic: Collin/Image Press Agency

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