Every year, there’s always a giant chunk of celebrities at the Met Gala who completely wet fart on the theme and go with their own, which is usually: Rejected Dresses Leftover From Awards Season. Even Anna Wintour showed up to this year’s Met Gala in some dusty dress that Carol Channing definitely wore a million times better in the 1960s (see: Anna Wintour in the gallery below looking like a sad lamp from Liberace’s least favorite guest room). While watching the Vogue live feed of the Met Gala last night, some bland, I forgot who, said something about how she wanted to be comfortable. Bitch, if you want to be comfortable, stay at home in your sweats and t-shirt and watch the live feed while sitting on your futon like the rest of us do! You’re doing the Met Gala completely wrong if it doesn’t take six assistants, a registered nurse, a long plastic hose, a thing of KY and a janitor with a mop to help you piss.
But in last night’s sea of basic (see: the sea of basic in the gallery after the cut), there were a few bright spots of fuckery who actually paid attention in class when the theme was given. Enter: RiRi!
As always, RiRi went hard with the theme (which was Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garçons: Art of the In-Between) and wore an outfit thing from Comme des Garçons’s Fall 2016 collection. From afar, it looks like RiRi got caught in a tornado of floral scrunchies, and from up close, she looks like a Laura Ashley blood clot. That outfit is what Effie Trinket would make if you locked her in a Jo-Ann Fabrics’ scrap closet for two hours. RiRi’s like a giant pile of torn wrapping paper at a southern debutante’s coming out party.
This beautiful mess is perfection from that makeup (it looks like Poochie scooted across her chicks with a wet ass) to that clown collar on acid dress to those hooker heels made of red licorice ropes. THIS is how you Met Gala!