The Grammys red carpet always looks like an intergalactic space orgy sprinkled with a bunch of random rappers who just rolled out of bed with barely enough time to grab their grill from the bedside table thrown in for good measure. Every year, it’s a mess. Plus you’ve always got legitimate superstars mixed in with a whole lot whosits and whateverhappenedtos. This year’s Grammy red carpet was no exception. I’m trying to sift through some of these looks, and honestly don’t know where to begin.
Cleaning crews at The Beverly Hilton are probably still vacuuming up the shards of glitter that flew off of Billy Porter when he twirled in that amazing technicolor dreamcape, and are mopping up the Fiji water that people spewed out after realizing they were in the presence of the one and only Fiji Water Girl, and are disinfecting the floor after hundreds of people shit themselves as Baroness Jamie Lee Haden-Guest (seriously, she’s a baroness) sashayed onto the red carpet and they thought, “Damn, Brigitte Nielsen is looking hot after birthing out a baby!” People probably shit out everything in their system and are going to need some probiotics to get their guts good again. I see what you did there Queen of Activia!
Gus Kenworthy (and anyone else with a working set of eyes) has been calling Ricky Martin a livin’ la vida loca daddy for years. Ricky’s 10-year-old twin sons have also been calling him a daddy, albeit with a different connotation, for years. Now Ricky and his FOIIIIINE husband, Jwan Josef, can be daddies together, as they just welcomed the birth of a new baby girl!
The thirst trap was set for a Livin La Vida Foursome yesterday when Gus Kenworthy and his boyfriend Matthew Wilkas posted a pseudo-Missed Connection ad on Instagram after they met Ricky Martin and Ricky’s husband Jwan Yosef at the Oscars on Sunday. However, unlike most Craigslist Missed Connections where the person you’re looking for never responds and all you get is a clogged Gmail from creepers, Ricky actually responded to this one!
This hills are alive with some Livin’ La Vida Thirst! The 90s and Ricky Martin are en fuego as of late thanks to Ricky appearing almost weekly on FX in cute man thongs as Gianni Versace’s partner in American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace. Gus Kenworthy and his boyfriend Matthew Wilkas are clearly fans, as Gus is resorting to some early aughts tricks to hopefully get a four-way canoodle with Ricky and his husband, Jwan Yosef. Continue reading
Consider your childhood dreams of ever becoming Mrs. or Mr. Ricky Martin shattered because he’s officially married to Jwan Yosef, who is absolutely hotter than all of us so we never really had a chance anyway. E! News is confirming that Ricky and Jwan have dotted all their Is and crossed all their Ts and are now each other’s ball and chain. And now I’m imagining their beautiful lovemaking which, in my fantasy, involves a lot of greasy, sweating lifting and throwing of balls and chains.