The delightful Janice Dickinson, who has done everything right in life from terrorizing Tyra Banks and her model proteges to exposing Bill Cosby to beating breast cancer, was married in an intimate ceremony at the home of a friend in LA.
Seriously? Janice Dickinson has given us years of faithful service as a glamorous self-proclaimed “world’s first supermodel” and fully-entertaining reality TV mess of the highest order, and this is how life repays her? First Bill Cosby, now this? Shame on you, life. You go sit in the corner and think about what you’ve done.
Caitlyn Jenner’s favorite face and body prototype revealed during an interview with The Daily Mail that she was diagnosed with breast cancer two weeks ago. I always assumed the chemicals in Janice’s military-grade implants were powerful enough to prevent even the most malignant of growths, but apparently I was wrong. A doctor found a pea-sized lump during a routine medical exam and sent her for a mammogram and biopsy, where it was discovered she had early stage ductal carcinoma in situ, or DCIS. Apparently that’s a common form of breast cancer. Somewhere, Lynne Franks’ boobs are nervously shifting around in her bra, like “I swear, I had nothing to do with this…”
But don’t cry any silicone tears for Janice just yet; she says she’s going to beat cancer with the same ferocity she used to allegedly beat Backdoor Farrah during a Celebrity Big Brother after-show.
“It’s still quite shocking. Today I got very scared…I just get very scared and it hit me. But I am not gonna let that define me, the fear. I’m going to get through this, I’ll be just fine kiddo.”
Janice adds that mom died of cancer, which is truly the cherry on this bummer sundae. But she’s getting through it all with support from her kids and her fiance, Dr. Robert Gerner, as well as spending lots of time in the garden behind her house.
“I go out there to meditate and I have gorgeous koi fish and see the butterflies and the rainbows.”
I think I speak for everyone who has a dusty VHS tape containing several episodes of The Surreal Life labeled with a piece of masking tape that says “DO NOT ERASE!!!” on the front by wishing Janice all the butterflies and rainbows today.
Presenting, BatSlut, the superhero who defeats her haters by busting out some graceful poses. She’ll hit you with thirty tons of elegance and make you hit the floor by filling your nostrils with a lacy fart. I bet this is still better than Ben Affleck’s Batman and that was served without one drop of sarcasm. And hmmm, where have I seen that pose before?
Life & Style threw a Halloween party in L.A. last night, and obviously it brought out the shiniest and biggest stars in the A-list universe. “Did I stumble into the Oscars without knowing it?” is what one party ho was heard saying after they laid eyes on Natalie Nunn from the Bad Girls Club (seen above as BatBitch) and two ex-Real Housewives. Life & Style’s Halloween party wasn’t just a gathering of the finest jewels in Hollywood, it was also where Backdoor Farrah debuted her third pair of silicone titty sacks. I find it hard to believe that Backdoor Farrah just got a boob job recently, because it looks like she finally said “fuck it” and told her plastic surgeon to replace any natural parts on her body with man-made materials. Backdoor Farrah’s blow-up doll looks more natural and alive than she does.
And here’s more pictures of the party where LeAnn Rimes was the biggest “star” there.
Backdoor Farrah And Janice Dickinson Were Evicted From Celebrity Big Brother, But They’re Still Bringing The Messiness
While in the Celebrity Big Brother UK house, Backdoor Farrah threatened to commit mass murder over a broken flip-flop and she fought every chance she got. Well, Farrah was evicted from the house last week and she’s still bringing her signature brand of crazy bitch drama to show. Both Jenna Jameson and Janice Dickinson were evicted last night and they joined Backdoor Farrah on the Celebrity Big Brother after-show Bit On The Side. The show ended with Backdoor Farrah getting kicked out the backdoor after shit got violent. That all sounds about right.
On the list of Worst Places To Die, I’m sure “in the Celebrity Big Brother House while surrounded by Backdoor Farrah and the Hitler-loving spirit of Tila Tequila“ is somewhere at the top. That night terror almost became a reality when Janice Dickinson had a medical emergency and nearly had the Grim Reaper knocking on the front door.
Even though Janice’s lips look like they’ve been stung by all the bees, she’s deathly allergic to them. Yesterday, Janice was stung by a bee in the Celebrity Big Brother house and she ran to the Diary Room where she begged producers to get her some medical attention or an EpiPen or some Benadryl or Dr. House or something! Someone! Janice said that her hands were turning black and was afraid it would go to her heart. After a guy, from security I think, went into the Diary Room to check on Janice, she had a seizure, fell onto the floor and continued to have a seizure. Celebrity Big Brother is extremely smooth, because they cut from Janice on the floor to the audience clapping. Janice’s bumblebee medical emergency starts at around the 8:37 mark in the clip below:
Janice was taken to the hospital where she treated and released after a few hours. Sources tell TMZ Janice didn’t bring an EpiPen with her into the house and the situation became really serious and she could’ve died. Metro UK says that Janice has fully recovered and is back in the house. Before Janice almost died, she got in trouble with CBB after she pretended to spit on Austin Armacost. She apparently apologized to him.
Some viewers were pissed at Channel 5 for showing Janice freaking out. It must be refreshing to live in a bubble where you actually think that a network won’t use someone having a seizure for ratings.
When Janice was on Finland’s Next Top Model, she fell down the stairs. When Janice was on I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here!, she was taken to the hospital in an ambulance. And now this! If Janice does another reality show, she better bring the entire cast of Trauma: Life In The ER (never forget) with her.
Last night, New York Magazine released this groundbreaking cover, photographs and firsthand accounts from their story about the women who were drugged and assaulted by Bill Cosby. So far, 46 women have come forward and 35 of them posed for and gave their story to the magazine. The empty chair, which made me think of Clint Eastwood (Damn you, Clint!), symbolizes the women who didn’t want to be photographed and the ones who have yet to come forward.
The women, including Beverly Johnson and Janice Dickinson, range in age from 44 to 80. New York Magazine spent 6 months researching and interviewing as many of Cosby’s alleged victims as possible. New York’s Noreen Malone wrote an essay for the cover and here’s a piece of it via Jezebel:
The group of women Cosby allegedly assaulted functions almost as a longitudinal study—both for how an individual woman, on her own, deals with such trauma over the decades and for how the culture at large has grappled with rape over the same time period. […] The first assumption was that women who accused famous men were after money or attention. As Cosby allegedly told some of his victims: No one would believe you. So why speak up?
New York has also been Instagramming portraits and audio clips from each interview.
If the section marked “Bill Cosby’s Defenders” still has people in it after reading this cover story and the gross shit he said in his leaked deposition, there’s no hope for them. Bill Cosby himself could say, “I dippity dop dop did it,” and they would still cover their ears while screaming, “Not TV’s beloved father!”
New York Magazine was hacked this morning, so you can’t access the story right now. No, you don’t have to check to see if Phylicia Rashad has been taking hacking classes at The Learning Annex. Apparently, the hacking had nothing to do with the Cosby story. The alleged hacker told The Daily Dot that he hacked New York Magazine’s website, because the magazine is named after the city where he had a shitty vacation. He claims he hasn’t even seen the cover. I guess “hacking a website that is named after the thing you hate” is the new “leaving a bad Yelp review.“