In August, The Hollywood Reporter said that MGM is doing a gender-flip remake of 1988’s Dirty Rotten Scoundrels starring Rebel Wilson. And now The Hollywood Reporter says that Anne Hathaway is joining Rebel.
The original starred Steve Martin and Michael Caine as two con men trying to swindle an American heiress out of $500,000. Nasty Women, which is what this remake is called, will star Anne Hathaway and Rebel Wilson. Anne and Rebel will play two women “from different walks of life” who team up to con a tech prodigy out of his money. Rebel Wilson is also a producer on it.
The first Dirty Rotten Scoundrels had a real slobs vs. snobs dynamic, so I’m taking that “different walks of life” thing as a sign that Nasty Women will be similar. Ann-with-an-E was born to play the uptight snob role, which means Rebel will probably play the snob. Although I really wish they’d switch it and make Rebel the snob and Anne the slob. I want to see Oscar-winner Anne Hathaway pretend to use a fancy dining room chair like a toilet.
I’m not a huge Dirty Rotten Scoundrels fan, but I’m still a little hesitant about this remake. We already have the perfect movie about two con women with a talent for grifting. It’s called Heartbreakers. There’s no way you can make a better movie than Heartbreakers, so why bother? Oh no, that totally sounded like I was challenging Hollywood to remake Heartbreakers. I take it back! Nasty Women – great, sure, whatever, just please leave Heartbreakers alone.
Back in 2013, most of the internet made fun of forever theater kid Anne Hathaway for laying down the blueprint for Leonardo DiCatchAHo’s extra thirsty Oscar campaign by hustling like her puppy got kidnapped and she needed to win that gold man statue so she could pawn it and pay her pooch’s ransom. Anne’s level 10 campaign hustling paid off and when she finally got her hands around the little gold man that danced in her dreams every night, she caused the Guinness World record for simultaneous eye rolls to break when she said, “It came truuuuueeeee.” Anne is now saying that her whole happy act during her speech was nothing but a lie!
Jeez, take some downtime, Anne. Aren’t you already the hardest working ho in cinema? Every movie I see, her ass pops up. I swear I saw her in a Corbin Fisher scene the other day. (Spoiler alert: She’s a versatile top.) Anne Hathaway’s at the Toronto Film Festival, and she was asked whether she’d want to reprise her Catwoman role from The Dark Knight Rises in a solo film. Sure, I like large amounts of cash, Anne responded in more words than that during an interview at the Variety Studio.
“Just text an offer to every actress, singer, comedian, rapper, etc. out there and the first 8 to hit us back with a thumbs-up emoji, gets a role” is probably what the producers and director of Ocean’s 8 said while casting. Because they put together a motley crew of HUH? that includes Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett, RiRi, TEEFS, Helena Bonham Carter, Mindy Kaling and a rapper/actress who goes by Awkwafina (born name: Nora Lum). Yes, Awkwafina is a name that somebody chose to go by. Phoebe Price isn’t in it, but I slipped her portrait in, because I felt like that line-up needed some real A-list star power, charisma and ginger glamour. Like the producers can afford her day rate!
Last night was the Los Angeles premiere of Alice Through the Looking Glass. One person who didn’t stroll up the red carpet was Helena Bonham Carter. I don’t know why she wasn’t there; maybe she couldn’t find an antique sewing machine for the undead ghost of an 1800s seamstress to make her an ensemble in time and decided that if she had to wear something off the rack and from this century, she wasn’t going to go. Regardless, I guess Anne Hathaway was missing her, because she decided to pay tribute to HBC with a meme yesterday.
Anne posted a picture of HBC in her rag bag best with the caption: “In a world of Kardashians…be a Helena Bonham Carter“, followed by a bunch of hearts and the word “(Red) Queen.” But if you want to see it, you’re going to have to swing by The Daily Mail. Why? Because shortly after she posted it, Anne yanked it down and replaced it with this:
Looks like we can add “shade” to the list that includes “photobomb” of words Anne Hathaway doesn’t really understand the meaning of. Correct me if I’m wrong, but Anne’s “In a world of Kardashians” felt like a straight-up read. Whatever it was, it was “unintended.” So Khloe, you can kalm down now; it looks like your services as the Kardashian family’s social media goon are not needed right now.
I don’t know if Anne necessarily had to clarify what she meant. After all, if Anne was going to come for someone, I’m pretty sure she’d do it by dressing up as a train and busting out a bitchy rendition of “Laughing Stock” from Starlight Express.
Here’s more of Ann-with-an-E at the premiere for ATTLG last night. Again, Anne really didn’t need to throw up that meme; she paid all the tribute to HBC needed by showing up looking like the Corpse Bride at her bachelorette party.
On March 24th, the lights of a delivery room in a hospital in L.A. somewhere were dimmed as two nurses appeared and pulled open a red velvet curtain, revealing Oscar winner Anne Hathaway (again, I’m legally obligated to type “Oscar winner Anne Hathaway”) lying on a bed in a cotton gown. While a spotlight illuminated her gorgeous Oscar-winning face, Anne sang “I Dreamed A Dream” from Les Miserables and as she sang, she pushed and continued to push until her son popped out of her Oscar-winning vagine. Anne’s baby son didn’t cry, because like everyone else in the room, he wanted to clearly hear every gorgeous note coming out of his Oscar-winning mother’s Oscar-winning mouth. When the doctor tried to cut the umbilical cord, Anne waved him away. Anne then yodeled out a note that was so powerful that it broke her son’s umbilical cord in two and she held him as she finished the song. The nurses gave her a standing and the doctors threw roses at her. That is how Oscar winner Anne Hathaway gives birth! If only they gave out Oscars for Best Births…
E! News says that Anne and her husband Adam Schulman (who, to me, always looks like Ryan Gosling as drawn by the dude who drew the Popeye cartoon) are now parents to a baby boy. Like Allison, I guessed that Anne would name her kid Oscar, because she’d love seeing the headlines: “Anne Hathaway Has Another Oscar!” My second guess was Judy. But Anne and Adam didn’t name their son Oscar or Judy:
Anne Hathaway has given birth to her first child with husband Adam Shulman. The two welcomed a baby boy named Jonathan Rosebanks Shulman early on March 24 in Los Angeles, E! News has learned exclusively.
That name is pretty normal, but that name is still all Anne to me. Jonathan Rosebanks sounds like the name of a seasoned Vaudeville star who moved to Hollywood in the 1920s and became a silent movie star and eventually became an even bigger star in the talkies! I bet Jonathan Rosebanks broke Norma Desmond’s heart and got kicked out of the Roosevelt Hotel after getting into a fight with Buster Keaton. That name is theater! It’s perfect.
Here’s Adam and Anne going for a hike just 12 days before she gave birth like nobody has ever given birth before!