At the tender age of 31, Amanda Bynes has already had a full Keith Richards lifetime of drug fueled insanity. After years of troubles with drugs, alcohol, wigs, cars, driveways, falling bongs, feuds, vaginal abuse, parents who just don’t understand and Drake’s dick, Amanda is looking forward to a fresh start in 2018, or so says her lawyer to Page Six.
“Amanda is looking forward to ringing in the new year with her close friends this year.”
What a strange thing to have your legal team tell the press. Should we take this as a warning? Does “ringing in the new year” involve parading through times square naked while ringing an actual bell, because I wouldn’t put anything past Amanda. But no, her lawyer says she’s actually doing great and is ready to make a comeback in 2018. The lawyer continued:
“In 2018, she looks forward to completing fashion school and dipping her toe back into acting. She has had several offers but is waiting for the right one to come along for a comeback.”
In addition to being courted by producers wanting to “revamp” The Amanda Show which aired on Nickelodeon, Amanda regained control over her finances in June and in April she said she “missed” acting. Amanda is also sober now.
It’s all very controlled and measured, this delicate foray back into the limelight. Sounds like she’s really made strides in her recovery. Going back to the healthy and supportive world of Hollywood and acting seems like a responsible choice. I mean, what could possibly go wrong?
The last time we really talked about Amanda Bynes, it was 2014 and she had a major mental health relapse after trying to get it together the previous year. Amanda has laid low for the past three years. In February it was reported that she was officially done with being on probation stemming from driving high on Adderall. Last week, Amanda got together with Diana Madison of Hollyscoop to talk for the first time in five years about what has been going on in her life.
Amanda Bynes can finally put one of the messier parts of her incredibly messy and sad 2014 behind her. In 2014, Amanda was arrested for DUI and now TMZ says that she’s finally off probation. Amanda got arrested in September 2014 in Los Angeles for driving while high on Adderall, something she had a legal prescription for. Amanda was already on probation at the time. Her DUI didn’t end with time in a jail cell; instead, it ended with her checking into a mental health facility.
Almost two and a half years later, Amanda’s lawyer tells TMZ that her DUI case ended last Friday and she’s officially done being on probation.
She’s been laying pretty low these past couple of years. Sources tell TMZ she’s still attending classes at the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising, and is planning to debut a clothing line later this year. Of course, there’s also the small issue of Amanda Bynes fighting with someone on Twitter who claims to be a person named Ashley Banks (who sounds like Amanda Bynes and seems to have access to all her pictures). It sounds like she’s got a lot going on. Hopefully she doesn’t try to do any of those things while she’s driving. It might be smart of her to hire a driver, just to make sure she doesn’t have any more DUI whoopsies. I’m sure one of the dancing lobsters could use the extra work.
The last time I wrote about Amanda Bynes, she had been released from her 5150 hold by a hearing officer who really thought it would be a brilliant idea for her to leave the hospital and go out into the wild on her own. Amanda also tried and failed to get control of her money again. Since then, Amanda’s reportedly been living with her hairstylist and she survives on the AMEX gift cards her parents give to her lawyer to give to her. Today, TMZ says that Amanda’s mom and dad, Lynn and Rick Bynes, are completely burnt out and have reached the edge. So they’re handing the keys to the conservatorship over to a professional and are busting out of California.
A source says that Amanda’s parents will ask a judge to transfer the conservatorship to a mental health professional whose job is to deal with situations like this. They’ve also picked out a money manager who will handle their daughter’s money. Since Amanda throws tweets of pure hate at her parents and doesn’t really want to have anything to do with them, they’ve decided that it’s probably a good idea for them to step away and let a pro handle it. They hope that if they’re not in control, she’ll start talking to them again and they can have a relationship. They’re originally from Texas and their eldest daughter lives there, so they’re moving out of L.A. and going back to Texas Texas Texas, going back to Texas. When I started that sentence, I had no idea it would end like that, but sometimes the spirit of LL Cool J takes over your fingers and you have to go with it.
During the past few days, Amanda has been tweeting about how pissed off she is at her mom and dad, because all of her clothes are at their house and they won’t give her money to buy new shit. She says she’s been taking her meds and seeing her psychologist regularly, so she’s fine.
I’m no expert (I can say that about most things except “being lazy” and “watching shitty TV”), so I don’t know if this is the right move or not. But it sounds like it. It seems like Amanda’s ears close every time her parents speak and she’s not even trying to listen to their asses. Maybe a professional can convince her to go back into the hospital for more than a minute before she tries to once again blow up the driveway of a mushroom kingdom. I was going to say that Lynn and Rick should hire Daddy Spears as their daughter’s conservator, but Amanda’s net worth is ONLY $5 million, so they can’t afford his monthly fee. Velveeta cheese and grits cost.
It was reported a few days ago that Amanda Bynes’ doctors were able to get a judge to approve an extra 30-day psychiatric hold, which meant that she’d stay in the hospital until next month. Well, some hearing officer took that 5150 hold and shat all over it, because she’s out of the hospital and is back on Twitter.
TMZ says that Amanda got in front of a hearing officer at the psychiatric facility she was in and asked to be released back into the wild after being in there for 2 weeks. That hearing officer’s title should be changed to hard-of-hearing-seeing-and-thinking officer, because they granted Amanda’s wish and let her sashay out the exit door. TMZ’s source says that Amanda was “lucid” in front of the hearing officer and he felt she was stable enough to make her own decisions. He pissed on the 30-day hold and approved her release. Even though Amanda has been taking meds, her doctors believe that she’s still in a bad way and needs a lot more treatment before facing the outside world.
Amanda was released right away and roamed Sunset Blvd. for a bit before going to a diner where she ordered a bunch of food. The server said that she came alone and “mumbled” to herself. TMZ says that after she ate, Amanda tried to get a room, but several hotels turned her away. Who knows where she ended up.
Amanda’s mom was able to get another conservatorship and I don’t know if that means she can go to court and force her daughter back into the hospital. She might only be able to control Amanda’s finances. I don’t know. The only thing I know about the law I learned while watching Judge Judy and Judge Judy hasn’t covered this sort of thing. Now if this story was about one of Amanda’s friends asking her to co-sign on a loan, I’d say, “Judge Judy says not to do it, Amanda!”
She (or someone pretending to be her) has been tweeting and deleting tweets all morning long. She once again claims that her dad abused her and says her parents worked with Sam Lutfi to get their hands on her money. She’s planning to take her parents to court to get control of her money again. She also tweeted (and deleted) that Sam Lutfi is evil. Well, she’s not wrong about that.
UPDATE: Amanda’s lawyer went to court today to try to take control of her cash and fire her mom as her conservator. The judge denied her and her mom is still in charge of her money. Amanda didn’t show up to court, but her lawyer told the judge that he’s making sure she takes her meds. Yeah, I’m sure he’s making sure she takes her meds as he takes whatever money she has on her.
Amanda Bynes’ mom and dad, Lynn and Rick Bynes, filed a petition with the court last week to once again be their daughter’s conservators and TMZ says that a judge recently approved it. Lynn and Rick had a conservatorship, but last month they reportedly let it go and that’s when Amanda moved away, stopped taking her meds, got back on Twitter and you know the rest.
TMZ says that the newest conservatorship won’t kick in until Amanda gets out of the hospital. When Amanda Bynes was “tricked” into entering a mental hospital, doctors were able to keep her there for 72 hours thanks to a 5150 hold. That 72-hour hold was later extended to 14 days and on Monday a judge extended it to an extra 30 days, because doctors say that she’s still in a bad way and is not ready for the outside world just yet.
In the documents Lynn and Rick (Side note: I can’t read the name Rick without hearing Amy Poehler nagging out a stream of RICK!s over and over again) gave to the judge, they listed all the reasons why they need to be the head bitches in charge of their daughter’s life. They should’ve just written, “check the Amanda Bynes tag on any blog,” but instead they said that her DUI and behavior are examples for why she’s a danger to herself and others. TMZ goes into Amanda’s money situation. Her parents state in the documents that Amanda’s net worth is exactly $5,747,703.36 and $2.8 million of that is real estate. Amanda made $144,768 last year and all of that came from her rental properties. My HGTV boo Scott McGillvray is impressed.
Lynn and Rick say that before Amanda went into the hospital, she was throwing around money like her name was Taylor Swift and she just sold 600,000 copies of her album in 24 hours. Amanda apparently gave gifts to everyone and anyone. TMZ seems to think that Amanda went into stores like Cartier, bought stuff and then handed it out to strangers on the street like some kind of Robin Hood.
Somewhere in London, Lindsay Lohan temporarily stopped taking naked pictures of herself on top of a mountain of coke for Neves’ new presidential campaign posters to slap herself in the head for leaving NYC when she did. LiLo got a cut on her twat from shoving a bunch of jooree and watches into her ham wallet during a “browsing” trip at Cartier and it still hasn’t healed. This wouldn’t have happened if she was in NYC when Amanda Bynes was handing out free Cartier shit on the streets. Dammit!
And now that Rick and Lynn got that conservatorship, they need to stock up on RAID just in case that shady roach Sam Lutfi hasn’t found another fallen child star to leech on and starts coming around again.