The parents of celebrity twats are usually way hotter than their children. Shayna LaDouche is the real star of the family. She should be the one in Transformers and Indiana Jones instead of her bitch ass of a son.

According to Wiki, Shayna is a hippy who used to sell brooches and shit in Echo Park, CA. Shia better be treating this woman like the precious diamond she is. I’m being serious. Seriously, I’m serious. SERIOUSLY.

Shayna went to visit her douche son in the hospital yesterday. She told reporters that “he’s doing fine.”

I also love that she carries ten million keys, a dozen key chain finders and a few pagers on one chain. My mom’s key chain looks like that. For some reason, I always feel safe with someone who sounds like Santa’s reindeers when they’re walking.

How fitting is that? A dog making dog food! RACHEL Ray has put out a line of premium dog food for her relatives. Yes, I know it’s RACHAEL, but you know she hates it when people eff up her name.

Rachael’s new line of dog food will be called Rachael Ray Nutris. It will feature two flavors, gross and grosser. Proceeds from the sale of her dog food will be donated to her favorite charity: The Rachael Ray Checking Account Fund. No, that shit will be donated to Rachael’s Rescue.

She said, “I love my dog Isaboo, and as a member of my family, I need to make sure that she eats as well as the rest of us. With the launch of Nutrish, I now have the opportunity to share with other pet lovers some of her favorite meals, flavors and special treats.” ISABOO?! That poor dog is seriously waiting for the fucking day when RACHEYPOO isn’t paying attention. Don’t worry, Isaboo (HA!), that day is coming.

I just asked my dog if he will ever be dining on Rachael’s doggy food. He dry barfed and farted at the same time. No joke.

Source

On his KIIS-FM radio show yesterday morning, Ryan Gaycrest claimed he was bit by a shark over the weekend. Ryan said he said he went about 8 feet out into the ocean, when he felt a sting. He said, “I thought it was a stick. I wasn’t sure what had happened. I saw it swim! He took a bite, and he left.”

He said finding the shark’s tooth was like “finding a splinter.”

If Gaycrest was indeed bit by a shark, that shark needs to turn in his resignation and retire. I am embarrassed for him and I’m sure all his shark friends gave him the side-eye for that pussy bite he gave Gaycrest. He’s a catfish, not a shark!

Let’s be real, Gaycrest wasn’t in the ocean, he was in his bedroom. It wasn’t a shark, it was a gerbil. He should call up Richard Gere and ask him what’s the best way to calm down a grouchy gerbil.

Source

Here’s an amazingly clear picture of Amy Wino leaving the hospital early this morning in London. On second thought, that could be a picture of me coming home this morning. I wore that same outfit last night. I was also carrying trash bags. Hmmm… What’s in those trash bags anyway? Souvenirs? It’s probably complimentary needles, methadone and catheter bags.

Wino was rushed to the emergency room last night after she had a “bad reaction to medication.” That’s what her rep said anyway. You would probably have a bad reaction too if you took them all at the same time and chased them with bong water and whiskey.

A spokesbitch for the hospital said Wino had a “comfortable night and is doing fine.” Yeah, I’m sure she did. After they loaded up her IV. Lucky crackie.

The Crackie of Camden has returned to Camden! It’s business as usual. She’ll be back on the streets tonight, screaming at the paps, hitting walls for no reason and buying ice pops by the dozen.

Image: Mr Paparazzi

Following his drunk driving charges, Shia LaBeef asks MTV to pimp his ride. – aevj

Runners-up:

Okay who’s gonna tell him he’s been in the same spot for 45 minutes? – FritoDorito

Meet the asshole who was first in line for the premieres of Star Wars Episodes I, II and III as well as the iPhone. – FamousBeer

Thanks Beckers

Mike Holmes from the Canadian TV show “Holmes on Homes” – They also show this shit on TLC in the U.S.

For Amy