Category: This Again?
Daisy Fuentes And Richard Marx Remind You They’re Still A Thing By Getting Married Again
When Daisy Fuentes and Richard Marx got married in Aspen back in December, my brain though “Well that’s nice” and then promptly filed said information into the trash, along with what I ate for lunch and the plot of the 1985 film Perfect. So obviously I got a raging case of Groundhog Day when I saw that Daisy Fuentes and Richard Marx got married in Los Angeles last night. Thankfully, my brain doesn’t empty the trash that often, so I was able to go in and confirm that, yes, these two are already married and, no, I’m not losing my mind.
According to Karent Sierra (yes, former RHOM cast member Karent Sierra), the guest list at Daisy and Richard’s Aspen wedding was limited to close family only. So Daisy and Richard decided to throw themselves a second Aspen-themed wedding because none of their friends were at the first one. Daisy and Richard didn’t do the whole vow thing, but they did have bunch of fake snow and played a video of their Aspen wedding on a constant loop.
E! says the guest list at Daisy and Richard’s second wedding also included Ringo Starr, Kenny G, and David Foster. Oh my god, that’s like a waiting room’s dream.
Daisy and Richard apparently took the Aspen theme all the way to the reception dress code by asking their guests to show up wearing “Aspen attire.” Okay, someone failed here. Neither Daisy or Richard, or any of their friends were wearing Aspen attire. There wasn’t a single pair of neon ski pants, neon ski boots, Bollé goggles, or white turtleneck to be seen. And yes, I’m basing everything I know about “Aspen attire” on this Juicy Fruit commercial.
Pics: Daisy Fuentes, Karent Sierra
I Guess This Means Avril Lavigne Is No Longer On Taylor Swift’s Shit List
Last week, the over-pulled piece of saltwater taffy that is Taylor Swift sort of got into a Tumblr fight with Hot Topic’s unofficial mascot Avril Lavigne. Taylor liked a Tumblr post comparing pictures of her hugging on her fans and making her signature “OMGI’mhavingsomuchfun!!!” open-mouthed face with several other famous types (including Avril) looking like they’d rather be getting dry burlap enema than doing a meet-and-greet with their fans. Then Avril hissed about it on Twitter. Then the Robert to Taylor’s Stacey McGill, Calvin Harris, jumped in and hissed at the Daily Mail for posting a photoshopped tweet that made it look like he had gotten involved. Basically = high school drama.
Well, it appears Taylor and Avril have kissed and made up (or at least their PR people told them to for the sake of publicity), because Avril was Tay Tay’s latest “Please welcome to the stage…” surprise guest at her show in San Diego last night. Avril and Tay Tay sang “Complicated” together, because of course they did. Taylor also does a little head banging around the 1:56 mark, because “Complicated” is clearly the most hardcore punk rock song she’s ever heard.
And today’s source of life is at the 2:00 mark, when Tay Tay reaches out to hold Avril’s hand and gets NOTHING. Excuse me while I HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH myself into a lung concussion. You know Taylor cornered her backstage and was like “I’m sorry, did you forget that part of your job as one of Taylor’s Super Special Stage Friends is that you’re supposed to kiss my ass? RUDE.”
You know, this is one of the times I’m glad time travel hasn’t been invented. Imagine if you went back in time to 2002 and showed tie-wearing badass mall punk teen Avril Lavigne that one say she’d be doing a duet with the snobby ballerina from “Sk8er Boi.” It would be like the ending of A Christmas Carol. “No…no, this can’t be real. Please, turn it off, it’s too embarrassing.”
Scarlett Johansson Is Trying That Whole Singing Thing Again
After taking a couple years off to focus on stuffing her bank account full of Avengers dollars, former attempted singer Scarlett Johansson has decided to return once again to the world of singing. According to Rolling Stone (via People) ScarJo has formed a girl group called The Singles with Este Haim from Haim, as well as singer-songwriters Holly Miranda, Kendra Morris, and Julia Haltigan. Este Haim? Uh oh, ScarJo, you in danger girl. I have a feeling that somewhere in a butterscotch castle in Gumdrop City, Taylor Swift just read the words ‘formed a group…with Este Haim’, whipped out her Lisa Frank Burn Book and screamed “THIS.SICK.BITCH™! Nobody steals friends from Tay Tay!”
So far, they have one song out and it’s called “Candy”. I know what you’re thinking – Mandy Moore would like a word with you, ScarJo. It’s not the worst, but that’s not saying much since you can’t really go wrong with ripping off Robyn’s “Dancing on My Own” and Stephanie Tanner’s after-school band Girl Talk.
It also sounds like a fake ring-tone from a Law & Order-type TV show that can’t get the rights to anything real, so they quickly record something in the craft services trailer using a karaoke app. And then when the phone rings and the detectives ask what song it is, the youngest “hippest” detective is like “Oh, that’s the Wild Style Girls – they’re all the rage right now.”
Here’s the lead singer of The Singles with her hot French husband (who appears to be fighting the hot, to be honest) Romain Dauriac at that star-stuffed Tom Ford show last night:
Pics: Wenn.com
Johnny Depp Confirms His Engagement By Wearing The Engagement Ring To A Press Conference
Johnny Depp and Amber Heard have been stunt queening that Sssh…is it an engagement ring? ring around town like it’s their job (it’s pretty much is Amber’s job right now) and gobbling up the attention like dirty stray dogs in an open dumpster. But according to Us Weekly, Johnny might be sleeping on the couch tonight. Johnny was in China on Monday to promote his new film Transcendence, and when asked point-blank whether or not he proposed to his current midlife crisis, he sort of spilled the attention-grabbing beans:
“The fact that I’m wearing a chick’s ring on my finger is probably a dead giveaway. Not very subtle,” Depp replied. The AP explains that the actor was wearing a ring featuring a “single diamond on a band around his ring finger. And indeed, it really is a “chick’s ring,” one source tells Us Weekly: The engagement ring Depp gave Heard was “too big for her, so he started wearing it,” explains the source.
Damn, Gilbert Grape, you’re fucked! Now that you’ve confirmed that THAT RING on THAT FINGER is a hitchin’ diamond, paps aren’t going to give a rat’s plump ass about trying to get shots of Amber’s ring hand. Which is bad news for you buddy, because in case you didn’t know, Amber Heard works a pretty tight stunt queen game. That’s why she sent you to China wearing that ring, dummy; so that people would talk about THAT RING even without Amber present (she was unable to accompany the ring, as she was too busy back in the US planning the details of a staged photo-op at a bridal store). But this is all Amber’s fault. Clearly she didn’t work hard enough with him before he left, otherwise he would have known that the correct answer to a question confirming their engagement is: “I don’t know…it looks like you’ll have to wait for the red-carpet premiere of Trancendence for more clues!”
And because I know you’re dying for it, here’s more of Johnny in China looking like a dead-ringer for your ne’er-do-well uncle who’s starting to sober up after huffing all the aerosol out of several cans of Reddi-Wip right before Thanksgiving dinner at your grandparent’s house, where he both lives and gets busted selling porn to neighborhood kids on a weekly basis (yes, his name is either Terry or Jake):
Pics: Flame Flynet